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Maddox
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Maddox is one of the pioneers of internet trolling and flaming. For this reason, he is a pioneer of lulz and, love him or hate him, his influence on cyberculture is undeniable. For this reason newfags should read some of his early articles and learn how to flame. He is also a pirate. He makes that very clear. A little too clear. In fact, his many claims of being a pirate, coupled with a trend of no longer updating his site have worn pretty thin. He also wrote a shitty book recently, and an even shittier comic.
Some of the former claims discredit the fact that Maddox is indeed a STRAIGHT pirate by trying to associate him with those of a gay nature. This insolence proves to be a flaw in oneself rather than a flaw in Maddox. It would be more accurate to call him a Sailor.
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[edit] Early Life
For the majority of his childhood, Maddox lived in poverty, sleeping only in a dilapidated house of mud. It was during these harsh years that Maddox developed his tough personality and his love of manliness. Maddox likes beef jerky, Tabasco sauce, lumberjacks, eating babies, and headbutting pussies. He also has extremely high self esteem and is in love with himself. He has a terrible taste in movies and video games and defends it by calling people fags.
[edit] Adult Life
In college, Maddox had a brief but passionate affair with Ronald McDonald. Since their breakup, Maddox has had a virulent hatred of McDonalds and constantly criticizes them.
Maddox claims to be a pirate, but since he lives in the landlocked state of Utah, it's more likely he means an ass pirate. He was excommunicated from the Mormon church on 9/11/2001. On June 5, 2002, Maddox kidnapped a 14-year-old girl named Elizabeth Smart and raised her in his religious cult. However she proceeded to tentacle rape him, giving him a hatred for children and his own pen0r. On March 12, 2003, Smart escaped and Maddox was arrested. When asked about his motives for the kidnapping, Maddox explained that he was only "doing it for the lulz."
Maddox may be a software programmer, and he may be into everything else associated with basement dwellers, but that doesn't necessarily make him one. He was finally able to vacate mom's basement after selling over 9000 books last year, now he lives in luxury, on the money he conned out of stupid people like you.
Also, did you know that Maddox is Armenian, and therefore a terrorist? Maddox is also a pederast. There is proof.
Maddox is also a camera whore as evidenced by his numerous pictures of himself on his website and the image to the right.
Maddox hasn't worked at a real job since 2004, making all his money selling merchandise. [1]
[edit] Examples of his work
| —Maddox, An article from mid-2005 |
| —Maddox |
[edit] New Book
Maddox has released a book, "The Alphabet of Manliness". As a fat, old, Armenian computer programmer from Utah, Maddox is an authority on manliness. The book was published in an effort to cover the cost of the huge quantities of Nair needed to remove his disgusting back hair. The book skyrocketed on the NY Times Bestseller list, an embarrassment to all parties involved. Covering a variety of subjects ranging from how stupid women are, to how great men are, to specific instructions for cooking meth, "The Alphabet Of Manliness" is a prime forerunner of everything that was never funny, even through shock value. The book also mentions Chuck Norris, making him as funny and edgy as the average shirt in Hot Topic.
Maddox goes on tour promoting the fact he would sign women's breasts. FUN IDEA: Bring your grandmother and have her request it.
Since he began writing it, he's stopped updating his site. After it came out, his site only serves to promote his book he apparently updates only once every four months, leaving his retarded fans with a thirst for moar.
[edit] Fan Sites
As with all retarded things in the world, they usually have a fan site. Maddox is no different, having two of the gayest fansites ever. Maddox Mania and The Best Fan Page In the Universe is where intelligence goes to die.
[edit] History
Not much is known about the faggotry of the sites, but recently, Civil War has broke out amongst Maddox fans. Some are disagreeing with Maddox and arguing with fans that "OMG GOVERNMENT DID 9/11"
War has broke here (baleeted?) and here. (404)
[edit] Other Maddoxes
A clone burst forth from his wretched womb one day, calling itself Ninjapirate. It has already begun emulating its mother and thoroughly unlulzifying the internet.
The LiveJournal account maddox is held by a retarded thirteen year old boy from Italy who updated it once a long time ago inquiring about male prostitutes who were also video game experts or whatever. Lulz ensued.
There was a troll on the Polish Pokemon-themed board. He incidentally was also called Maddox, but he retired, since people called him to wash his tits.
John Solomon is sometimes accused of being Maddox. This is a Lie.
[edit] Fun Facts
- Maddox likes FF7, so that means he's a homosexual. Proof.
- Maddox likes buttsecks with small boys, so that means he's a homosexual. Proof
- B3ta interviewed Maddox, proving their faggotry.
- Maddox likes Pantera. The only positive out-come of the person. Except the fact that Pantera is a total fucking rip-off of Exhorder, and Maddox is likely unaware of this band's existence. He also forgets Pantera's early history as a glam band.
- Maddox's frontpage links to both Ebaumsworld and College humor. No further comment necessary.
- Maddox likes transsexual Thai boys, Proof.
- As is well known, Maddox is a homosexual. But a lesser known fact is that he is also gay. This means he is in fact a fag².
