Malaysia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Malaysia, (or more famously known as MaGAYsia by an anonymous | Pierrot D'Clown) is a moderate sized nation in Southern Asia known for the amazing series of paradoxes that define it. Some argue that it should be referred to as "China Jr.", but this is hardly fair, since it is basically made up of all of the red-headed stepchild cast-offs of other nations, not just China. In particular, you can find expatriate Indians, Chinese, Arabs, British, Japanese, Dell employees, and native Malays living in close quarters, much like how Dungeons & Dragons has elves (British), dwarves (Chinese), halflings (Japanese), gnomes (Jews), and half-orcs (Indians). However, because they are a Muslim country, they don't allow Jews or gnomes, a practice originally started by their British masters at least 100 years ago. The lack of close proximity of any Jews, Malaysia's thriving tech industry, and the fact that the Muslims have been domesticated like sheepdogs by years of rule by their aforementioned British masters and don't crash planes into American buildings, some argue, contributes to the relative lack of shithole status Malaysia enjoys compared to some other Asian nations.
To their credit, they don't have Wal-Mart, but unfortunately, they do have Fear Factor and Malaysian Idol, so somehow these two achieve a balance.
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[edit] Language and Culture
The official language of Malaysia is Malay, which consists of crazy moonspeak like "leh kooto chat tak ^_^ kekeke" and "alm gol agonbg aoor @_@". This is the image shown to the rest of the world on IRC. However, the truth is that most everyone in Malaysia speaks English anyway, a side effect of their aforementioned British masters. Unlike Hong Kong (now more commonly known as Stink Town) which also had British masters, people don't pretend to not speak English in Malaysia. All of the signs in the nation are in English, except in the backwoods states of Sabah and Sarawak (Malaysia's equivalent of Mississippi and Alabama where Filipino and Indonesian rebels create secret terrorist camps and get eaten by tigers. That's not a joke, either. Sabah and Sarawak are really places where you really can go to get eaten by tigers, but fortunately, nobody sane ever goes there -- all the cool people stay in peninsular Malaysia and leave the rest to the crazies.
The capital of Malaysia is Kuala Lumpur, which is pretty much just like New York City, only it's about 500% cleaner and has significantly less violent crime. This is because Malaysia routinely executes murderers and the devious drug smuggling Australians after long prison stays in crowded Malaysian prisons. These executions are their second most popular national pastime after badminton. Malaysia's badminton Olympic team regularly pwns everyone else's badminton team, but this is partially because everyone else in the world had no idea that badminton was even an Olympic event, and partially because everyone else can't play badminton without giggling childishly at the word "shuttlecocks".
[edit] Religion
Malaysia is, contrary to the other Muslim countries, a Muslim nation that doesn't allow everyone to wave guns around arbitrarily or explode themselves for great justice. In fact, people probably wouldn't notice that Malaysia is a Muslim country if not for the Islamic prayer chants from the mosques. Many, in fact, do not notice the prayer chants, assuming them to instead be farts, the result of consuming too much Arabic food. However, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, and Shinto people do just fine in the country and live without persecution so long as they don't go out of their way trying to spread their religion, say, for example, by slipping religious tracts into Dungeons & Dragons books at Barnes & Noble. Pagans, Australians, and Jews and probably Scientologists, on the other hand, would do well to stay the fuck out, but that's pretty much the rule of thumb in every nation, so it doesn't really set Malaysia apart.
[edit] Government
Malaysia is some kind of wacky constitutional monarchy with nobility, another quality they inherited from their British colonial masters. Each of the states has a Sultan or Raja or Poohbah or some other kind of Arabian Nights kind of ruler. Just like England, the supreme ruler (who in Malay is referred to as "Yang di-Pertuan Agong" which translates to "Supreme Ruler") is a meaningless figurehead with very limited political power, and the nation is actually run by a Prime Minister. However, unlike England, who's had the same inbred royal family for centuries, Malaysia gets bored and rotates their ruler every five years, though they choose from one of the royal families of the states. The newly elected Supreme Ruler then flies into Kuala Lumpur on a magic carpet and immediately executes an Australian in celebration. However, it is surmised that by creating a Grand Army of the Republic, possibly involving the usage of clones, Malaysia's leader could rule the entire galaxy.
It should also be noted that the Malaysian government hates faggots, and will prosecute them upon discovery. They will then be thrown into a secret cell that noone knows about, where government closet faggots will rape them everyday, and eventually kill them to keep their secret.
[edit] Climate
Malaysia is hot. There really aren't any seasons since it's pretty much on the equator. Sometimes it rains, but not often enough. It never snows in Malaysia, which ruins Christmas on a regular basis, not that they celebrate it. Santa Claus, though used extensively for marketing, doesn't like countries where it doesn't snow, or Jews since they don't believe in Baby Jesus.
[edit] Mostly known for
Malaysia is mostly known for it main export of HOTWHEELS cars and toys. Since its cheaper to take advagtage of other shit poor cuntrys. amirite?
[edit] Intranets
Malaysia is known to be the source of all intranet lagz so next tiem it takes 20 mins to load dat shit off of the youtubes or you get killed in CS because of the lagz blame the Malaysians! CURSE YOU MALAYSIA I NEEDS MY MIDGET PORN FASTER!!!!!!
[edit] Summary of Malaysia in 6 minutes
[edit] With Extra English Subtitles
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