Man
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A man (or men, if someone wishes to be plural about it) is the other of the two genders. "Other" usually translates to something unflattering, so there should be no surprises here.
It's a known fact that men are superior to women in every way. Men physically stronger, have higer IQs, get better jobs, are funnier than women - mainly because they posses the all-powerful majestic cock and will use it on anyone who disagrees. Previous versions of this page have been little moar than rants written by angry feminists who couldn't get any - luckily thanks to the grace and kindess all men are blessed with she is now happily sucking on ever piece of man-meat she can fit into her.
Some argue women should be equal to men. Such people should know their place.
Contents |
[edit] The Origins of Man
[edit] Evolution
Once upon a time, everything exploded and shit started to evolve for no reason whatsoever, and Last Thursday apes decided that having sex while having semen cling to their fuzz was kind of painful after it dried, so they said fuck that and started to shave. And man was born. Or, if you're one of those religious types, we came from magical God dust.
Variations:
Men, like Slurpees, come in a variety of flavors:
- Black Bottom of the evolutionary scale
- White Used to be the superior species until Liberal guilt got to him.
- Stupid Obviously.
- Nerd Unattractive, unintelligent, unfunny.
- Alpha Men who think they are Alphas are invaribly pussies. All men think they are Alphas.
- Nice Finish last.
- Non-Sexual Lieks other men far too much.
[edit] Important Men in History
- Jesus, who drank wine, saved people, and was later nailed to a piece of wood.
- Abraham Lincoln, who freed black people, paving the way for rap and other epic failures.
- Eleanor Roosevelt.
- Jameth, allegedly.
- Adolf Hitler, who had a moustache and an affinity for scat pr0n.
- Mario, who fursecuted a bunch of turtles.
- Borat, he throw Jew down well.
- Rosie Arch-enemy of Rule 34.
[edit] The Male Brain
The title is an oxymoron.
[edit] Men & Sex
Men think about one thing only - sex. Some men think about sex buttsecks. Such men are doing it wrong.
[edit] Pedophiles
100% of pedophiles are men. Or bears. Often both.
These men have dicks so laughably tiny that the only thing they can fit into are the snatches of 3-year olds. Some men like to delude themselves into thinking their cocks are big enough to children as old as 13. Ironically such men usually find themselves on the wrong end of a big black cock when the 13 year old girls turn out to be from the FBI.
[edit] Faggots
Some men like other men too much. This is because they actually have the brains of women, whilst being stuck in a man's body. Some argue this is a good thing. Other know better.
NOTE: No, these do not count as Dickgirls.
[edit] The Penis
No article about men would be complete without mentioning their dicks. Men say that cocks are beautiful things. Women say they are ugly. Men correct the women by showing them how they use their cocks.
Eventually the women give in and admit cocks are beautiful things. So much so they cut them off and keep them as souveneirs. Which is why gay men have so much moar buttsecks - it's safer.
[edit] Men & Religion
All religion was founded by men. This may seem partiuclarly strange since all religions hate sex. However it's well known that all the rules about sex in religion are based around women - men can do whatever they want, since rape is always the victim's fault:
- Islam Founded by Mohammed.
- Judaism Founded by Moses.
- Christianity Founded by Jesus.
- Buddhism Founded by a tree-hugger.
- Atheism Founded by Richard Dawkins.
- Satanism Founded by Lucifer.
- Hinduism Founded my an 8-armed monkey.
- Religion in general Founded by God.
[edit] The place for men
Some argue men should only take jobs in the White House or in Iraq; otherwise, they are known as faggots for doing what women are socially permitted to do. Men should always remain in their place to avoid the terrible fate of being deemed a homo. Western society is much harsher on men than women when it comes to staying in the proper place; The most important place for a man is the place as a leader, if a man should find himself in the position of a "follower" it's because he's either trying too hard, or cannon fodder for the leader. Men have ruled the world forever and they have been effective. Much better than the women could do. Anyway, men are much better leaders than women because they are able to focus their energy into one problem and find a solution. One shortcoming of men as leaders is their preference to work independently rather than as a group, but at least they don't get together and bitch about the wrong stuff. The two places for men are as leaders or as soldiers. The internet is not one of those places. All the stuff about no girls on the internet was done for the LULZ. Everyone on the internet who claims to be a guy is lying.
[edit] Men vs. Women
Some argue that articles on ED are supposed to take the piss out of everything - so it would seem that praising men is doing the opposite. The truth is that both science and religion agree that it's far, far better to be a man.
Which makes it far funnier seeing so many men fail miserably.
Some argue men have been the victims of sexism. For example, a woman who kills rag-head terrorists is considered normal and treated as a war veteran, but a man foolish enough to become a hairdresser will be considered a faggot by all sane men. And rightfully so.
[edit] Feminazis
Unable to cook or clean, Feminazis take out their frustrations by blaming men for everything - including retarded claims like rape.
Some clever women have figured out what ultimatly motivates men and are using it to their advantage by becoming camwhores. Believe it or not, there are several ways to pwn men:
[edit] Trolling Men
Trolling men is incredibly easy - simply suggest there is something wrong with their best friend. A man is just as insecure as a woman could ever be. For example, why do you think that a man acts like an attention whore? Of course a man will insist that he "doesn't care" about what most people think of him, because guys are supposedly super tough Duke Nukems who are good enough to get by. Later, the girl will smirk at how a guy becomes self conscious about how fugly he is or how long his penis is.
- Suggest they are Gay Works best on Alpha males.
- Suggest they are straight
- Pedo Baiting
- Trapping
- Cut them off
- Remember, only gay MEN get AIDS
[edit] Travesties Caused By Men
[edit] Gallery of Man
 The perfect man. It's all they're good for. |
 You're the only one. |
[edit] See Also
Categories: People | Sex | Subcultures
