Maple Story

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

MapleStory (Also known as MasturbationSonnet) is an anime-style MMORPG published by the Korean company Nexon. Think of a cross between Gaia, Mario, and everything evil ever to be included on the internets. Being made by gooks, the users are composed of weeaboos, basement-dwellers, pedophiles, Furries, and other assortments of fag. Of course, these are known to be some of the most batshit insane peoples ANYWHAR, and so Nexon makes tons of moneys from it. To download this game is to say goodbye to any hope of ever succeeding at anything you will encounter during your lifetime, and prepare for a long, lonely road of internet porn, fast food, and eventual suicide. Then again, you never had much potential, anyway. :(. Also, this is something that the user w/ the username peeeel which by the way sounds like a jews freshly cut foreskin, will become in couple of days.

Average MapleStory fan-forum faggotry.

It should be noted that Maple Story is the longest MMORPG in history, since, as a player, you will be distracted by the amazing 2D anime styled art, STRAIT FRUM KOREA KEKEKEKEKEKE SO KAWAII ^___________^

Typical Maplefag.

Typical weaboo expresses love for asian cocks in chat.

For April Fool's Day you get to dress up your male character as a fag! But the jokes on you, because now your in-game friend has a crush on you.

Moar Maple faggotry.

[edit] Game

1. Hold a key.
2. ????
3. You are now a piece of shit.

Srsly, that's what you'll be doing the majority of the time. Being 2D, the only thing you'll ever be able to do is stand next to a monster, hold whatever the fuck key your attack is on, and watch the screen like a fucktard.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MOAR!!1

As you sit on your naked, fat ass, you may encounter a variety of shitheads. There are always at least 100 script kiddies waiting to hax up your map, and all of them will no doubt flame you on how "ur dmg sux", "ur eyes rnt slantd liek mines", etc.

Maplefags actually believe their super pourz will help them in forums and irl.

Then there's a whole army of Peruvian retards who will spam the shit out of you, until either you give them "100 sqishy liquidz@@@@@@, or they get V& for smuggling crack via their sister's asshole.

A typical quest in MapleStory.

Also, be aware that there are no girls in MapleStory. If someone with a name like "lilaznqtx3" starts asking to be your gf, sign off, close and lock all windows and doors, buy a dog, etc. It's the pedobear, and he's looking for some fresh ass.

DO NOT play this if you happen to be one of the following:

• A PETA member. Maple Story requires you to get over your ovaries and fucking kill snails to get money to make a stick for killing more snails.
• A God fearing Christian Maple story is constantly filled with weeaboo faggots that mainly worship Naruto, for great faggotry. A majority of these players will be the assassin class, who will always KS you and call you a noob, just for being on their channel while they are grinding to Linkin Park.
• People with fucking money. Maple Story noobs have the tendency to falsely report your ass to the game mods because they think you hacked the game just to get blue hair.
• Anyone with common sense.
• Anyone who has a life.
• Anyone who is not a complete and utter douchefuck.
• Curly

[edit] Nexon

MapleStory happens to be run by the most Jewish group of Azns in the world. They'll say they're interested to know what users want, but rly, they're more concerned with gold-plating their cocksheaths and raping the shit out of your mommy's bank account. They'll release things for over $9000 one day, and then have it be free the next week. Because of this, people feel the need to bitch about every little thing they find wrong with the recent version, even if there's nothing to bitch about.

[edit] NX Cash

Waste your money here!

NX Cash, or Nexon Cash, is what you get when you spend irl money on a free game. All spoiled, MapleStory-addicted children who are lucky enough to get ahold of their mommy or daddy's credit cards/Paypal information, will blow hundreds of dollars per month on NX. This is used to buy worthless shit in MapleStory's Cash Shop system. The only purpose of these items is to make their character look super spechul. One thousand NX is one U.S. dollar, meaning you are wasting five dollars just to change the color of your eyes, which are actually made up of 3 pixels.

Such items include:

• Pets that follow you around and annoy other users by letting out horrid emulations of animal noises when they are praised or punished.
• Super kawaii clothing!11
• Megaphones in which users can shout to an entire server that they fail at life and have AIDS.
• More worthless shit.
• Wedding rings, for those who are impossibly lonely and need a steady partner for cybering.
• Expressions on how you feel IRL such as getting butthurt.

Pedobear, doing his duty.

• PEDOBEAR HAT?!

It's true. MapleStory features a Pedobear hat, and for only $2.60. If you are going to spend money on this game, this is possibly the only worthy item to buy. Not only is it endlessly entertaining to also purchase a net and chase little girls around, but, if you don't have a mask but see someone who does, it's also fairly lulzy to follow them and put your character into 'compromising' positions with said bear. The user who you're harassing probably doesn't know what Pedobear is, but they get annoyed quickly when you mention it and ask them if they'd be interested in attending your little brother's/sister's 3rd birthday party tomorrow and that you already know that they're 'nice and tight'. This is also fair evidence that Nexon is run by pedophiles. All they need now is Shotacat, amirite? See: Temporality

[edit] Common phrases in MapleStory

• CC PLZ - Please go to another channel because I want to kill those monsters. Usually used by Wapanese assholes, running on a fresh cup of tiger jizz. This excuse is frequently used so they can party with other users to gain moar xp.
• S>+1INT HMT60%/+3STR BW10%/SPCLW+2/5mil/fuku n1gg3rs/@@@@@@ - Pardon me sir, would you be interested in some of this worthless bullshit inventory that I need to get rid of? This phrase can be recognized as "S>" followed by any form of indecipherable AOL speak.
• 1K PLZ - Can you spare me a thousand of your mesos please?
• OMG U HAXX0R!!!!1 - How did you get your skin to be lilac?

DONT KS B!TCH

• FAME PLZ - Can you add a point of fame to my account please?
• DONT KS B!TCH - Please don't killsteal. (The ! takes the place of the I in bitch because of Maple Story's shitty censors)
• Looking for GF/BF with NX whisp/chat me!!! Usually spammed by basement dwellers on a super megaphone because they lack the ability to find a partner of the opposite sex irl.
• JPQ!!!!@@@@#@##### - I am gathering members of comparable standing to engage in a MapleStory party quest.
• SPAM T1GERC0CK469 LV125 LEGIT 6JOB GRATZ$OMGLUL - Please assrape my lifeless stalker-friend for playing this terrible game 48 hours straight.
• KSSSSS WOAAAAAR !)0!!!1101!- Used by delusional retards like Curly. Must be screamed while stuffing potato chips into one's fat pothole.

[edit] Language Filter

No shitty game would be complete without its own curse filter. Sure, replacing one or two letters with numbers might be a minor annoyance, but cursing on the interwebs is serious fucking business, and the GM's on MapleStory realized that. Thanks to their filter, they can now rob you of your right to free speech, and while you're trying to figure out why the filter cock blocked you, you get raepd by some shit monster. Don't blame the GM's though, Koreans aren't used to the concept of free speech. A list of some of the most offensive words and phrases have been blocked from the game:

• Gay
• Bitch
• Circumstance
• Ball
• Spice
• Blow (Ironic, because half of the skillz include the word)
• Grape
• Whisper me
• Japan
• Hitler (What was WW2, anyway?)
• C8
• Pedobear
• Fish Tank
• Any given word at any given time

The best way to win back your right to free speech is to use Notepad, but this only results in banhammer, and much lulz amongst the millions of chinks and weeaboos when they announce NOTICE: b4s3mNtDWLR has been banned for cursing.

When shit gets real.

[edit] How to Troll Maple Story

/b/tards in Maple Story, attempting to get their hands on delicious caek. Notice the presence of Cockmongler.

• Hack and KS n00bs in the beginner areas with a high level character.
• Repeatedly tell them that they have AIDS.
• Claim a popular area and spam "CC PLZ" to everyone.
• Whisper to the people in wedding announcements and tell them that their future e-spouse is ugly, and or, has cheated on them with another e-lover. (Give them the name of a random person you have passed by for added lulz)
• Play a drop game (A game in which you and other players drop rare items to show off to each other) and use a "vac hack" (A hack in which all items on screen will come to you for grabbing instantly) to grab the items. You then proceed to log off, keeping the hard earned items forever. This leaves the other players cutting themselves in sadness and anger.
• Go into the wedding area, Amoria, and spam "LOOKING FOR PQ@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@" repeatedly.
• Spam trade/party invites as much as possible.
• Make fun of asians, this will result in the thousand nations of the asian empire descending upon you, Srsly.
• Spam on megaphones (or anywhere near a crowd of people, word spreads quickly amongst the maplers) how much you dislike anime, preferably Naruto or any anime on adult swim.
• Call someone a n00b despite the fact you might be 20-30 levels lower than that person. Also, calling someone with a srsly high level a hacker generally leads to their guild threatening to kill you irl. Bonus points for doing it on a shitty fan-forum.
• Repeatedly ask "MESAR PL0X?!?!" to anyone that walks by, and don't stop until that person logs off.
• B>(buy) all the shit you can see and destroy it all, inflating the e-conomy.
• Go to a MapleStory forum and make a new thread entitled "______ should be NX-only!", with the blank being something like "New Maps", "Level 70 Weapons", or "Zakum Helms". It works every time.
• Convince your guild-mates to stalk and ks a high level player.
• Always threaten ks-war on every map--even if you're just walking through.
• Always defame every high level character you see. Be sure to immediately log off to prevent retaliatory defames.
• Have players apologize for you killing their monster.
• Players get extremely derailed if you megaphone something bad about them, which usually makes them spend more of their own money to refute the message.
• If a player tells you to 'cc plz,' continue to follow/ks until they give you mesos.
• Take off all your gear and beg for mesos/gear/potions--proceed to play like this until someone generous comes along.

[edit] Use Your Sack

One of the gloriously undocumented features in this game is the random appearance of items with names like Black Sack, Different Sack, and Monster Sack. As it turns out, their only purpose is to spontaneously spawn a certain type and number of deadly creatures wherever the sack master is standing. You can dress up your character to look like the other n00bs, stand in a crowd of 20 people, and unleash monsters on them while they are AFK or trying to heal. Either that, or use it on one AFK pro, and when he comes back, get your popcorn ready for the butthurt.

[edit] Big lulz and Epic rape created by MUDK1PZ13.

"It has come to my satanic manical attention that all merchants are selfish foul-smelling cockroaches that should be immediately arrested by Nexon Authorities.

With all these pathetic demons inhabiting the current society, everything has been turned into eternal hell. The prices are inflating and deflating like mad due to the many incoming newbie beginner/warrior class merchants who wish to merchant and receive over 9000 mesos a day instead of the average 5000 for a normal laborer. However, most of this warrior merchants, with their low intelligence, end up being the worst scum on the street. When they find out that merchanting has taken all their valuables away, they have no choice but to live in the streets of Kerning City. As you may or may not already know with your tiny little asian chaotic minds, MUDK1PZ13, an active flamer gang, has been coming and going all around the world committing humanoic crimes. Many of those warriors who live in the street end up being killed by the MUDK1PZ13.

More merchants = More people ending up in the streets of Kerning City = More people getting slaughtered by MUDK1PZ13.

Merchanting should be illegal throughout all the major countries including the U.S., Germany, China, Hermitopia, Bowmania, Nexon, the Basilmarket Empire, Mesopotamia, Japan, Satania/Nibiru, Mayano/Heaven, and many others as well for the reasons listed below:

• The prices deflate/inflate extremely fast
• Many warriors/beginners end up on the streets, then being killed by MUDK1PZ13
• Mass spreading of AIDS and other diseases due to merchant blood
• Less scamming, etc.
• The selfishness of humans may perhaps go down, thus resulting in less darkness around the world

[edit] Warriors/Beginners Homeless Because Of Merchanting. Many Slaughtered By Isilie's Flamer Gang, MUDK1PZ13.

Thousands, no, millions of warrior/beginner class citizens have turned to merchanting in hopes of gaining more intense profit. What they do not know with their 1~7 intelligence is that merchanting will lead them to their doom. Because of the warrior's/beginner's low intelligence, they can't find out a logical way to merchant. Most warriors/beginners think that merchanting is the buying of high priced items and selling it for a low price. Obviously, they lose a mass amount of money due to their stupidity. Warriors and beginners were NOT made to merchant. They do not have the logic and common sense to do so. Sadly, this is how Life made us. We are all great at some things while horrible at another. The warriors and beginners that end up bankrupts live on the streets of some town. They are then usually(95%) ambushed by MUDK1PZ13 gang members. They will cut your body and sell it on ebay. This is actually a great way to make great mesos thought it is not advised to commit such actions of horror. The more merchants means the more that end up dead.

===Spreading of AIDS and YU987M.

Over 9000 Basilmarket citizens have been affected by AIDS or YU987M because of Isilie's flamer gang, MUDK1PZ13, and those rotten merchants. Mass spawning of merchants have caused merchant blood to activate within the animal heart. When one merchants successfully, the merchant blood from their ancestors become alive and AIDS/YU987M becomes active. YU987M is extremely dangerous and it will cause you to faint at certain times and make you fall into an eternal coma. YU987M may also result in the Sokam inside any animal's body being activated thus turning you into a might explosive that can detonate approximately 5 seconds after the Sokam has been turned on. AIDS will basically destroy your immune system thus causing you from being able to die a cold, hard death from a cold or a single cough. It is possible for anything to receive these diseases by simple standing/swimming/urinating 2 miles near any active merchant.

More dogs and humans have died from AIDS/YU987M these last 3 years than all the world wars combined.

Satania and Hermitopia is already planning to pass a law to destroy the merchants who spread such disease."

                                                        - Some butthurt 13 year old boy

[edit] Don't Forget About Tiger!!

[edit] External Links

• Main site.
• MapleStory commercial, which actually has more to do about pedophilia than MapleStory.