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Marcab Confederacy
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|
◄ PROJECT CHANOLOGY ► |
PROJECT CHANOLOGY PROTEST (February 10)
THE IDES OF MARCH PROTEST (March 15)
OPERATION RECONNECT (April 12th)
CONTACT
MEDIA OPERATIONS Counter Fair Game
• Operation ALAS INFORMATION Gold Info Pack
• Scientology Stats • MAY 10th OPERATION FAIRGAME:STOP PLAYAHS
ARS • Enturbulation • Magoo • Marcabs • Wise Beard Man Gas Mask Girl • You • New Zealand Fail Guy Sean Carasov • Tommy Davis • You Found the Card • ReligionIsFree.org INFORMATION |
| —L. Ron Hubbard |
According to batshit insane Church of $cientology leader (redundant much?), David Miscavage, Anonymous and their current Project Chanology shenanigans are a massive Marcab Confederacy away team on a mission to create a Project Mayhem of sorts, in advance of a huge invasion fleet to fight LRH's forces of light on Battlefield Earth (also Mitt Romney's fave book).
Contents |
[edit] Marcabians
According to L. Ron, the Marcabians had an oppressive political system: "if a person was considered to be in contempt of court or anything like that, he was simply fried since there was a curtain of radioactive material which went clear across the front of the bench anywhere that a witness or anybody would stand, and so on."
Hubbard said that the Marcab Confederacy invented income tax as a means of punishment (okay...we get it Ron...you hæt the IRS!), with the death penalty imposed for making even the slightest mistake in returns — "one comma wrong and it's 'dead forever'." (Perma B& IRL). The Marcabians also appear to have been distinctly socialistic, having "had plan balanced economies" They were also keen on motor racing and every once in a while Scientologists undergoing auditing "will run into memories of race tracks and race-track drivers".
L. Ron isn't around to elaborate further beyond on his original 'observations', but it's pretty obvious that this story -as with most C0$ 'theology'- is somewhat akin to copypasta/creepypasta so go right ahead and pull some ridiculous shit from your butt and tack it on to the end of the 'story'.
For example, it is also known that Marcabs worship a god called Mudkips and survive on a steady diet of steroids They also will never: a. Give you up; b. Let you down; or c. Run around and desert you.
[edit] Cover Blown
On Saturday Feb 16th, 2008, Anon's 1337 field agents intercepted intel from Co$ HQ in Clearwater, Florida.
[edit] Breaking Broken News
"I have received intelligence": (Well, thank Christ for that.)
Apparently, DM has accepted an explanation for the sudden Anonymous uprising Phenomenon (Plague of those below 2.0 on Tone Scale) that defies all reason. Allegedly some brilliant Hubbard fanatic has convinced many senior Co$ that the CRAB PEOPLE The Marcabs, the Fourth or Fifth Invader Fleet and the Psychos have used the Internet to take control of thousands of net Minions.
These hapless victims are attacking Scientology under the direction of the Psychos' immediate Lieutenants: ARSCC (wdne). Several current and formerly overtly prominent ARS SPs are deemed to be Regional Directors of Operations for Anonymous. These Regional Directors will be targeted for express handling should legal efforts fail to win injunctions against the mass demonstrations.
"I've had this madness communicated to me from two different and usually reliable sources. Have they blown our cover?"
[edit] Anon Responds
| —Anonymous minion |
| —Marcab pilot |
| —Marcab Commander |
| — Captain Nigra |
| —Roger Ebert |
[edit] My Fleetz: Man The Harpoons!
[edit] Tactics
Marcab Confederacy naval manuevers are fairly simple but very effective. They consist mostly of charged lazers fired in salvos by their capital warships, and barrel rolls by their fighter craft to help strengthen their shields in critical times of heavy fire. Do not refer to outerspace engagements as "Dog Fights". It lowers morale. A more effective and neutral term is "Fleet engagement"
[edit] Strategy
The Invasion Fleet is Assembling on the Dark side of Earth's Moon, decanting from warpspace near the orbit of mars and activating cloaking systems to head to Lunar Space. Once the Fleet is assembled, they will abruptly deactivate Cloaking and head towards Earth, beginning an Orbital Bombardment on any Earth Defense systems, be they ICBMs, the SDI, etc. If necessary, Orbital Bombardment will be employed against Terran Cities, though we will try to prevent that. We expect no opposition fleets or advanced defense, this being a Type 0 Civilization on the Kardashev scale. However, be careful and alert, ESPECIALLY after the loss of one of our task forces due to a simultaneous warp calculation fuckup and reactor FUBAR. Deus Ex Machina is in effect, and the main government of the Earth's opposition, the United States, even with a overextended military, has a heavy space presence that will at least delay our depleted forces. The European Union is more compact in size, has a smaller space presence but a ground invasion would be harder. Russia still has a large size and has the power to harass our invasion craft. China will be a fucking hard place to subdue, may have to leave them out. We will screen the planet as /i/nvaders begin to invade the major areas of population. Due to a relative weak ground force, we may have to deal with sustained resistance from Terran army and air forces, especially if Orbital Bombardment cannot be conducted for the political reason. Reinforcing fleets will arrive in a few days to provide more troops for a lenghty occupation and eventual assimilation into the Confederacy. Also, cocks.
[edit] Fleet Depth Chart
4th (or 5th) Marcabian Interstellar Invasion Fleet
Operation: Chanology
Order of Battle
1st Fleet - Mudkipz Brigade: Led by Admiral Magoo
Anonymous Flagship-Longcat-class battleship-carrier, Longcat
Slowpoke Interdictor ship-Slowkip (Commander Tarp's stealth mongling ship).
Slowpoke Interdictor ship-FUCK YEAH SEAKING
Battletoad Battle Cruiser-Pedobear
Battletoad Battle Cruiser-Diabeetus
Rickroll Carrier-Chocolate Rain
-1st and 3rd DESU fighter squadrons
-69th Mudkips Bomber wing
Bodypillow class Drone Carrier So Ronery
Destroyer Squadron 666
EFG-class destroyer- Applemilk1988
EFG-class destroyer- Cracky-chan
EFG-class destroyer- Hal Turner
EFG-class destroyer- Failchan
2nd Fleet: Led by Rear Admiral Tay Zonday
Slowpoke Interdictor ship-Goatse
Slowpoke interdictor ship- Candleja-
Slowpoke Interdictor ship- Cockmongler
Battletoad Battle Cruiser- FGSFDS
Battletoad Battle Cruiser- LOLWUT
Electronic Warfare Squadron 42
GAME-class electronic warfare ship- YOU
GAME-class electronic warfare ship (Captain Hatonymous)- JUST
GAME-class electronic warfare ship -LOST
GAME-class electronic warfare ship- THE
4th Fleet (the third fleet accidentally divided by 0 while calculating its warp jump) Led by Vice Admiral John Smith
Rickroll carrier- Rule 1
-5th and 7th DESU fighter squadrons
-42nd Mudkips bomber wing
Rickroll carrier- Rule 2
-6th and 10th ("The fightin' Baumans" Led by Anonyneko) DESU fighter squadrons
-79th Mudkips bomber wing
Rickroll carrier- When I Was
-12th, 13th, 15th, and 20th DESU fighter squadrons
Slowpoke Interdictor ship-Tacgnol
Destroyer Squadron 90
EFG-Class Destroyer- LRon
EFG-Class Destroyer- Miscarriage
EFG-Class Destroyer- Cruise
EFG-Class Destroyer- Xenu
115th Destroyer Battlegroup: Led by Vice Admiral Suiseiseki
Destroyer Squadron 120
EFG-class destroyer- A
EFG-class destroyer- C
EFG-class destroyer- A
EFG-class destroyer- T
Destroyer Squadron 33 (recently returned from crushing the Neebunok rebellion)
EFG-class destroyer- I
EFG-class destroyer- S
Destroyer Squadron 2
EFG-class destroyer- F
EFG-class destroyer- I
EFG-class destroyer- N
EFG-class destroyer- E
Destroyer Squadron 55 (also recently returned from crushing the Neebunok rebellion)
EFG-class destroyer- T
EFG-class destroyer- O
EFG-class destroyer- O
Ground Assets
1st and Only Marcabian Space Marine Army: Led by General WBM
2nd /k/ommando Regiment: Commander Hotaru Guy
3rd /k/ommando Regiment: Commander Richard "Mac" Machowicz
33rd Lander Group
13th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron
24th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron
59th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron
67th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron
98th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron
Occupation Forces
1st Killdozer Capture Brigade
2nd Killdozer Eradication Brigade
3rd Killdozer Occupation Brigade
1st Occupation Army
2nd Occupation Army
Unimatrix 01 Data Transfer Fleet
1 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube (Note, Chief Fleet Liaison Officer Eric Bauman is on board.)
2 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube
3 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube
1 of 1 Anonymous Borg Assimation Cube (Currently cleaning up the mess left over from the Neebunok rebellion crushing)
1 of 1 Anonymous Borg Sphere (Hosting Partyvan Wiki, in orbit around Mars)
Reconnaissance Squadron 4
CeilingCat-class recon ship - OIC whutyoudidthere
CeilingCat-class recon ship - Orly
CeilingCat-class recon ship- Yarly
CeilingCat-class recon ship- Ohai
Heavy weapons guard ship - Nowai
[edit] The Assault Begins
uhhhhhh wut?
[edit] Notes:
- DESU fighter squadrons often consist of close to 10,000 individual fighters, meaning that yes, we have OVER 9000 DESU fighters
- Mudkips bomber wings, numbering around 500 per wing, take up approximately twice as much space as DESU fighter squadrons on carriers due to them needing moar fuel, and having to carry enough harpoons.
- Required force size for a Marcabian Space Marine Army requires a full legion of 10,000,000 Anonymous. Seeing how this is the ONLY Marcabian Space Marine army, the numbers are a little fuzzy, and its closer to 100,000 Anonymous, which are subsequently broken down into regiments of 5000-10000 Anonymous, then down into companies of approximately 1000 Anonymous, then platoons of 100 Anonymous, and finally squads of 10 Anonymous.
- DC-9 Landing Craft Squadrons consist of 20 landing craft, each of which can contain upwards of 1000 Anonymous.
- The DESU fighter was introduced as a replacement for the LU-LZ34 Arwing due to its superior barrel roll capacity an on board implementation of the AAFADS-VIII (Active Anti-Fag Area Denial System, Mk. 8).
 Marcabs? In my Pyramid Scheme? It's moar likely than you think. |
 They see me rollin...patrollin... |
 The Marcab flagship with Pew Pew lazors to zap dog curtains. |
 Black suit? Check! Fedora? Check! Let's roll! |
 Glory Marcabia! |
 Fleetz? Habeeb it nigger! |
 AFS Longcat's faggotry alarm is tripped. |
 Anonymous: |
 Anonymous: They're coming in fleets. |
 Marcabians: Expect us motherfucker! |
 one comma wrong and it's dead forever |
 Elroy & Jake Blues...expect them. |
 Sector 9 will win every time. |
 Suspected locations of the fourth (or fifth) invasion fleet |
 Fail 'writer' is fail |
 Marcabians enjoy motor racing. |
 :( |
 Marcabian allies...the Crab People; taste like crap, talk like people. |
 Giant head L. Ron speaks. |
 The Marcabian Goatse Stargate. |
 we are legion and we like fedoras. |
 legion is on standby |
 a flag of the confederacy |
 another flag of the fleet |
 Comin' right up! |
 Wii are coming... |
 Your desktop...are belong to Longcat |
 Marcab Shock Troops |
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- The a.r.s thread where some blabbermouth broke Rules 1 & 2: DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE MARCA/b/ CONFEDERACY
- The Marcabs explained at TOW
- Enturbulation thread on the Marcab Invasion
- Oh Exploitable! I wonder who pwns this?
 Marcab Confederacy is part of a series on "Leaders" of Anonymous |
RULES
Splongcat | Darr | Paul "Fetch" Carnes | Eric Bauman | Magoo | Rorschach | WBM | Mudkips | Bucket GROUPS Moralfags | Mundanes | Marcab Confederacy | Jews | Illuminati | Nazis | Psychiatrists | Communists | Russian Mafia | Gun Runners | US Government | FBI | NSA | CIA | ARS |
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Marcab Confederacy is part of a series on Trolls. |
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