Olsen Twins
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Olsen Twins consist of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. These 20 year old girls were formerly the object of media-driven pedophile fantasies, but have grown into the flower of young womanhood, and are now devout Mormons.
[edit] A History
At the age of two, the Olsen Twins' parents pimped them out to Holywood producers for use in numerous television commercials and situation comedies of the '80s. Notable among these was the complex and brilliant "Full House," which was based on a true story about three homosexual men raising kidnapped children in San Francisco. Winning many international awards, this program ran for only 2 years, until the male actors all died of AIDS. This gave the children the chance to escape.
Since that time, the Olsen Twins have remained in the spotlight through their long series of petty but artistically brilliant crimes such as the armed robbery of a Scientology center and selling a long, detailed, but completely false story to the tabloids about a midnight menage a trois with Mohamed Atta on the night before 9/11.
Also they have raised more money for PETA than everyone else in Hollywood put together.
[edit] Mary-Kate Olsen
Mary-Kate Olsen, since turning 18, has become a great source of lulz for people both IRL and on the internets. Tabloids and witnesses claimed she went to rehab for cocaine, while others view her as a source of thinspiration for their ana/mia ways.
[edit] Ashley Olsen
Ashley was kidnapped by Sean Hannity in late 2006, and currently resides in a small sex-dungeon located in Hannity's back yard. She was briefly the object of a missing white woman syndrome search, but Hannity succeeded in halting the public lamentations and speculation.
Categories: People | Crap
