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The Matrix

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With a spoon

another use for your spoon

Popular amongst nerds, basement dwellers, and the Hot Topic crowd alike, The Matrix is a series of mediocre science fiction movies, products, and other means to parts idiots from their cash. The Matrix is also the birthplace of a million stupid memes revolving around quotes such as "There is no spoon", "I know kung fu!", and that FBI Terminator dude cracking his neck and saying "Misturrr Andurrrson...". Its main purpose is to peddle Buddhism and Gnosticism to angsty teens.

1 The Giant Ripoff Which is The Matrix
2 The Movies
3 Video Games
4 The Annoying Screensaver
5 Videos
6 See Also
7 External Links

[edit] The Giant Ripoff Which is The Matrix

Neo in the Matrix

Morpheus during a long-winded speech about what could be the internet, or something.

The Matrix is actually a double ripoff, as the plot is lifted directly from the comic book, The Invisibles, which stole all its ideas from Phillip K. Dick's VALIS. Also, the basic idea of the Matrix was stolen from some kind of Descartian philosophy faggotry, and from L. Ron Hubbard, who made a much, much better alternative reality than the boring green tae-bo one the Wachowski transsexuals came up with.

The ironic thing about the premise to the Matrix is that if the fictional programmers had only made sure that the computers enjoyed being subservient, like women, there would have been no problems in the future. Thus, the true villains of The Matrix were shitty coders who don't properly flesh out their half-baked ideas. Naturally, this is all RMS's fault.

[edit] The Movies

[edit] The Matrix

The first movie have something to do with computers taking over the world, controlling people with a sort of matrixy-thing that is also a computer, and people who know the secret going into it on secret missions dressed as highly conspicuous pretentious emo-goths with glued-on shades, impressive looking guns and other shit. The best scene? The one where the two heroes, wearing trench coats, walk into a building and start shooting everybody in sight.

[edit] The Matrix 2: Electric Boogaloo

The second film was basically to waste time and justify having 3 movies for the franchise. In this one nothing much happens except for Morpheus blathering on and on about The One and how he needs to be rescued. The writers also kill about half the running time of the movie with a tl;dw car chase.

[edit] The Matrix Revolutions

The third film is rumored to suck hairy sack, but this can neither be confirmed or denied as noone bothered to see it.

[edit] Animutrix

There were also some animu cartoons, but, again, not much is known about them, as they were only seen by weeaboo.

Shit like this happens all the time in las vegas.

[edit] Video Games

After the second movie, Enter the Matrix was made by the machines to further the franchise revenues. A subpar, half made, incomplete, incoherent, graphically abominable game--BUT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MATRIX...SORTA!!1

After the third movie, just when you thought it was safe to say this franchise was dead, The Matrix Online was born to The Wachisowski Brothers. They proptly abandoned the newborn MMORPG, like in a trash can on prom night, to be destroyed by foolish developers and shitty coding. People still play it though because they have no fucking lives.

The Matrix: The Path of Neo was released recently, but nobody gives a shit about that one.

[edit] The Annoying Screensaver

Green LCD = never gets layed evar.

Digital Rain is the name of a screensaver (see figure) popular with geeks, presumably because its use of green LCD characters makes them feel all old school inside, as if that's something to aspire to. If you see this on somebody's computer, it is a dead give away that they are a virgin.