Man

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The male brain, hard at work.

Man (pluralized as "men") is the stronger, smarter, more energy efficient version of the woman, simply because women are faggots. Men possess a penis, but lack boobs, one of their faults. They are often aggressive and tend to base their actions on logic and reason, as opposed to women, whose actions are dictated primarily by emotions, and feelings. Most of the atrocities of the past hundred years have been commited by men.

Men typically assume the roles of leadership in the world, both because they are better suited to do so, and because they are the only ones sociopathic enough to have a desire to control everything. Women, on the other hand, are content for the most part taking vital jobs that keep the world from collapsing upon itself; namely, those jobs that are located in the kitchen and around the house.

Most men prefer sex in which they put their penises into other people. Though there do exist men who prefer taking it in the ass. These types of men are called faggots.

1 Origins of Man
2 The Male Mind
3 The place for men
4 How to Deal with a Man
5 Variations
6 Important Instances of Man in History
7 Travesties for which men are specifically responsible
8 Gallery of Man
9 See Also

[edit] Origins of Man

There are several schools of thought when discussing the origins of man.

The first claims that God created man many years ago. However, after God realized that Earth was a total sausage-fest, he threw some pussy into the mix because he hates fags.

The second contends that man evolved from monkeys. This cannot be possible, however, since monkeys only know how to eat bananas, masturbate and fling shit, whereas men can do all three of these things at once.

Man was created for moar lulz because of the fact that no matter how hard they try, they cannot maintain any sort of peace in the world and their puny little wars are fun for God and women to watch because it reminds both him and them of how superior they are.

The world needed leaders becuse otherwise life is nasty, brutish, and short. (Women never stop holdng grudges and they fight dirty).

Men make a lot of jokes, and women wanted entertainment.

[edit] The Male Mind

Warning: This is weird and messed up stuff.

Men want nothing more in the world than to fuck everything that moves... or doesn't move, it really doesn't matter. Men think more independently than women and do not spend as much time socially interacting to exchange ideas. Another feature of men is a tendency to favor doing only one task at a time until it is completed, which is why they are effective at problem solving and are the world's leaders. I mean, just look at the state of the world: it's perfect, right? Feminists are frequently butthurt about not being in charge and don't realize that good leaders don't PMS over everything. Men think that they are superior, but this only shows how foolish they are. In reality, they are nothing but sex toys for women who play with their minds to make them feel superior so that they will want to have sex. Think about it: Are you a male? Of course you are, this is the internet, after all. Now, would you ever turn down sex with a woman? If you answered "No," then you are either gay or dishonest... possibly both. As you can see, women hold the power when it comes to relationships. Also, men will never understand child birth.

Men are far less mature than women. For example: instead of gathering with each other in a public area, men will go off by themselves in each others' houses. While the women all spend time having meaningful converstions and getting their troubles off their chest, the men draw penises all over each others property and film themselves on their cell phones acting like faggots and pretending to have butt-sex.

[edit] The place for men

This is what happens when men don't stay in their place, GET BACK IN IRAQ!

Some argue men should only take jobs in the White House or in Iraq; otherwise, they are known as faggots for doing what women are socially permitted to do. Men should always remain in their place to avoid the terrible fate of being deemed a homo. Western society is much harsher on men than women when it comes to staying in the proper place; a woman who kills rag-head terrorists is considered normal and treated as a war veteran, but a man foolish enough to become a hairdresser will be considered a faggot by all sane men (and rightfully so). The most important place for a man is the place as a leader, if a man should find himself in the position of a "follower" it's because he's either trying too hard, or cannon fodder for the leader. Men have ruled the world since they were created by God and they have been effective... mostly. Still much better than the women could do. Anyway, men are much better leaders than women because they are able to focus their energy into one problem and find a solution. One shortcoming of men as leaders is their preference to work independently rather than as a group, but at least they don't get together and act bitchy. The two places for men are as leaders or as soldiers. The internet is not one of those places. All the stuff about no girls on the internet was done for LULZ. Everyone on the internet who claims to be a guy is lying.

[edit] How to Deal with a Man

Dealing with a man is often difficult due to its stupidity. The solution is to avoid using any sort of logic or reason that the man is too stupid to understand. It is recommended to withhold sex from uncooperative men. This will send their tiny brains into a frenzy, because the male mind cannot function without sex.

[edit] Variations

Men, like Slurpees, come in a variety of flavors:

[edit] Important Instances of Man in History

Jesus, who performed miracles, saved people from sin, and hung out with women during Moontime.
Abraham Lincoln, who freed black people, paving the way for rap music.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Jameth, allegedly.
Adolf Hitler, who had a moustache.
Mario, who fursecuted a bunch of turtles.
Sephiroth, he could kick your ass.
Borat, he throw Jew down well.