Michael Jackson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Michael Jackson (whose legal name is now Wacko Jacko) is a black man turned white shemale (as seen in picture at right) who got famous in a music career. He-she is a known wealthy pedophile who travels around the world molesting children, proving once and for all that when the big hand touches the little hand, it's time to get the fuck right outta there! Despite now being legally a white woman, he-she played the race card like OJ in his-her last pedophilia trial. He-she is a major proponent of the W's controversial No Child's Behind Left plan. He is also the reason the Beatles are not on iTunes.
In the 80s, Jacko made a music video called Thriller where he-she dressed up as himself, a zombie made out of wax. Since then, he-she has had at least one plastic surgery involving Cillit Bang to look like Diana Ross. Despite having an androgynous physical appearance that frightens small children, they continue to sleep with him because it beats working at Walmart. He-she was last known to have intimate relations with a "Terry S." but no one knows who this may be. But known sightings place The Terry within the same ranks of the Yeti & Ape Man.
| —Jackson to his child catcher. |
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[edit] Life At Home
MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect tool for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "don't want to go to school." It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little creepy. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to Whorelywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little blue-eyed blonde-haired Nazi children made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off. Either that too much plastic surgery and sex with The Queen of Whores Britney Spears
He currently lives with his three sex-slaves Prince, Paris, and Blanket, and his Nanny with lupus.
Michael, In his spare time, likes to rape innocent little 13 year old boys. But not to worry, If you have grown a beard or have facial hair, This is the only thing that wards off Michael Jackson's "Rape you long time" powers. But if he does get you and rapes you, this adds up to major Lulz
[edit] "Thriller" or "I'm a pedophile, put me in jail"
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a HIT album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by Epic records (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. Bolded are the words that were deleted:
- "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' With That Young Boy" – 6:02
- "Baby Be Mine" – 4:20
- "The Underage Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
- "Thriller" – 5:57
- "I'll Show You How To Beat It" – 4:17
- "Billie Jean: An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant" – 4:57
- "Human Nature: I'm Just God's Messenger" – 4:05
- "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" – 3:58
- "The Lil' Lady in My Life" – 4:12
[edit] Conspiracy Theory: Jews did Michael Jackson!
Some people believe that Jews did Michael Jackson. Their reasoning goes as follows:
- 1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say shalom and try to invite themselves to dinner and MJ says GTFO.
- 2. In addition, Jews at the CIA want to insert memes into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says gb2hell.
- 3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were bff with their Jewish attorneys.
- 4. MJ smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows (srsly). Jewish lawyers made him change it. The song is accompanied by a creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to banhammer you for good.
- He really fucked,
- He thought he really got control of me
- Somebody's out there,
- Somebody really wants to get me
- Kick me
- Kike me
- Use me
- Abuse me
- Sue me
- Jew me
- Take control of me
- 5. Jews find nothing funny and proceed with banhammering him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.
- 6. ????
- 7. PROFIT!!!!
Proof of this theory can be found in the JarlaxleArtemis article.
[edit] The Emma Watson Scandal
Recently Michael has been implicated in the sexing up of Emma Watson, with the help of Dwarlinggirlxcore. He along with another person by the name of Cory were found to be in the practice of witchcraft, being demons along with a he-she transgendered asshole, and impersonating Secret Service agents all in an attempt to lick Emma's asshole. Reports are still coming in on this event, and are possibly forthcoming as we speak.
[edit] The Elephant Man
In the Mid-1980s Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for this Michael Jackson stated, "it was mostly for the lulz." people suspect though, that in fact, it was not for lulz of any kind.
[edit] YouTube Antics
Michael Jackson occasionally goes without food for days and takes off his surgical mask in order to video himself for YouTube. He uses the alias PeppermintPatti, and pretends to be a persecuted lolsbian so he can get sympathy from others. First Michael couldn't have sex with little boys, and now he can't have sex with women. When will the pain end?? Never, it seems. too bad for you.
[edit] Michael Jackson's lulzy gallery
 Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle. |
 Michael Jackson feeds the dogs. |
 Donald Duck's imitation of Michael Jackson sleeping with little boys. |
 Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries. |
 Michael Jackson in the future. |
 Michael Jackson's beliefs |
 Michael Jackson simulator - ONLY IN JAPAN. |
 Luring children to his ginger bread house. |
[edit] See also
[edit] External Links
- The History of Michael Jackson's face
- Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery
- Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.
- Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.
- Michael Jackson jokes
[edit] Sites approved by Michael Jackson,not directly related
- Doujinland.com Sure to contain lots and lots of sick fuckery
- not4chan
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Michael Jackson is part of a series on Music. |
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Michael Jackson is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
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