Midget
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Midget is the preferred nomenclature of the vertically challenged. Referring to them as anything else will earn you great enmity with the midget community, ensuring a lack of good porn on your computer.
Contents |
[edit] Culture
Midget culture is almost entirely made up of costume parties, alcoholism, drug addiction and depression. No one hates themselves more than a midget does. They prefer only to come out at night, scurrying beneath the mundane's feet throughout the day as they make their way from porn studio to porn studio.
Every midget knows at least three famous midgets: if you meet a midget, a good way to break the ice is to ask which famous midgets he or she has met at midget conventions.
Midgets have many interesting career options. They can wrestle, be a bowling ball, be an actor or actress, be wee-man or collect disability
[edit] History
Midgets have played an important role in American cinematography, serving as the butt of all jokes and ensuring adequate box office revenues for otherwise shitty movies. The Great Midget Uprising of '57 was put down by Dwight "Ike" Eishenhower with the famous line, I'll stop laughing at midgets when midgets stop being so damned funny.
Midgets were also used in the Vietnam war to find mines, and to infiltrate the gook lines, due to their similar height and filthiness. This ceased only when butthurt liberal commies BAAAAAAAAAWED about them being used as semen receptacles when the Saigon whores pussies got too worn out and loose to do more than slosh noisely as they were stirred by mighty Merican cock.
The porn industry owes at least 75 percent of its yearly revenue to the hard work and dedication of the midget community. It is also believed famous midget, Wee-man, saved MTV from almost certain bankruptcy after appearing on Jackass and allowing himself to be shot out of various cannons and slings. Construction of a memorial to his sacrifices is currently underway in Washington, D.C.
[edit] Biology
Midgets suffer from a physical condition called cancer, as their hands are often bigger than their faces. Their torsos are hilariously longer than their legs, which provides comedy gold in running sequences as they can kick themselves in the head. They always smell of cabbage and have large penises, especially the females.
They also have a mental retardation called "pygmy" (aka: walking blow-job) which makes them aggressive towards tall people. There are many examples of short people in history who are aggressive because they are "walking blow-jobs". These people include:
[edit] Famous midgets
- User:Brakeu
- Adolf Hitler
- La Pequeña
- Oompa Loompas
- Asians
- Eric the Midget
- Dr Evil
- Urist mcdwarf
- John Howard
- Steve Irwin
- Son of Art
- Frank Iero
- The Midget Who Fucked Bridget and hid in the cabinet
[edit] Videos
Matyred midgets get gypped in Paradise, too
Midget - Skateboard - ???? - PROFIT!!!
[edit] See also
[edit] External Links
- The Dwarf Tossing Ban Act, 2003 Canada's fault
- Midgets convening on srs matters. srsly
- Sex with a midget.
- Mini Britney Spears, now with 90% less crazy and Nyquil than the original
