Moonie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Moonies, also known as Reverend Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church, are a cult that got famous when over 9000 of them got married to each other at once. Their collective honeymoon is the largest orgy ever recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records. Due to the fact that they never pwned themselves, shot it out with the ATF or had sex with 16 year old girls, they are considered to be one of the most fail cults to ever exist. They don't even believe in Cthulhu.
This asian dude claims to be, in reality, the second cumming of JESUS CHRIST. (ASIAN JESUS!! imagine that...) And he therefore was able to convince these 9000 people that he knew their soulmates. He gathered these 9000 people in a stadium and he chose their mates. Quite literally, he went "You and you, ya'll are gonna get married. Okay, now you two," and so on.
They have since found themselves giving out stickers outside the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, DC. These people even run the notorious Washington Times--unworthy competitor to the Washington Post. The Times is yet to pull a profit once in its time of existence. You ever seen the McLaughlin Group? No? Fuck you. This guy who is a major op-ed writer from the Times is on there as the trademark neo-conservative. (He yells alot). So if it weren't for the Moonies, there wouldn't be a loud-mouth conservative, failure newspaper with the name "Washington" on it!
As retarded as this sounds, at least they're not Scientologists.
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