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Mr. Hands

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After seeing this picture you know you're going to watch the whole video.

Having felt left out of the bestiality business, Mr Ed decided to get in on the action.

Artist's depiction of the crime scene

Billed as Goatse.cx for 2005, Mr. Hands is a disturbing Internet phenonemon.

1 The story
2 Is Mr. Hands a Furry?
3 His Balls
4 See Also
5 External links

[edit] The story

Interesting Fact:
This article contains an hero.

Sometime last Thursday, a video popped up on the internet called "mrhands.mpg." The video, made in Enumclaw, Washington, outside of Seattle, is of a man being fucked in the ass by a horse. Hundreds of hours worth of footage of men taking horsecock up the ass were found by authorities.

This is why he is called Mr. Hands

Even though the rumor said that he died during/after the "mrhands.mpg" vid, this isn't true. Mr.Hands died later on, after he and his friend had too much to drink, and didn't think about their safety. The horse tore up a part of his intestines and he began to bleed. His friends waited 3 hours (!) before driving to the hospital. Sadly, Mr.Hands died on the way, from ass blood loss and then became an hero. It was later disclosed that this man, named Kenneth Pinyan refused to go to the hospital because he was a high profile Engineer for Boeing, and he didn't want his reputation ruined. Ironically, after he died from too much of teh horsecock, some gay faggot made a movie that sympathized with these sick animal fuckers called ZOO. It was nominated for best picture at Sundance Film festival by a bunch of pretentious yuppie scumbags. In this movie, it is also shown that the horse had his cock cut off in retaliation for puncturing Mr. Hands's colon. And also to prevent more sick fucks from killing themselves by impaling their sphincters on delicious horse cock.

The classic part of this new meme is that bestiality is not illegal in the state of Washington. However, the cameraman, Michael Tait was fined 300 dollars for his role in the horse whoring. The only thing they could get him for was trespassing. In Washington, not only can the people having sex with horses do so freely, but when LJ Abuse fucks Frank the Goat, Frank lacks legal recourse.

This isn't a joke.

In the wake of this event, bestiality was made illegal in Washington. Of special note is a line in the law making FILMING beastiality illegal as well. The capital's waving at you, Mr. Tait!

[edit] Is Mr. Hands a Furry?

Mr. Horse

A challenger appears?!

Technically, no. There are a few important differences:

1. Furries claim not to have sex with animals. No furry would fuck a "hyooman" anyway.

2. Mr. Hands does not wear a fursuit. Neither did his "partner".

3. As much as we wish they did, the majority of furries don't die after being fucked stupid.

4. Judging by the amount of horse cock in his ass, along with the orgasmic groans of ecstacy, Mr. Hands is clearly a faggot. However even though all furries are gay, not all gays are furries. There are so many different perversions to chose from.

NOTE: Some argue that Mr. Hands does not qualify for the animal abuse catagory, because the horse quite clearly seems to be enjoying it. If anything the hyoomans suffered the most. By "hyoomans" I am not refering to Mr. Hands himself, but rather the many viewers who have been permenently scarred by watching a faggot take a dick larger than the Giant dildo of death up the ass.