Murder

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Blunt instruments are commonly used to end lovers spats.
Blunt instruments are commonly used to end lovers spats.

The equivalent of a IRL perma-ban, the premeditated killing of one human by another human (usually). Being completely and utterly, undeniably pwned by another individual. Some people find the need to murder themselves (such as 16-year-old girl emos), though this is referred to as suicide. This makes them an hero.

The most common motive is hatred of the victim by the murderer, second most common being the stupidity of the victim, third most being the need to be subject matter on CSI. The prevailing method is violence. The common result is death, although not always the death of the victim. Some argue murders are committed by niggers.[1], but only the smaller black population gives this appearance [2].

Unsolved murders are left alone to "age" in a casket of oak for many years, thus earning the name "cold case". Murder connoisseurs say the primary difference is in the scent of the murder, and that ageing can bring out many subtle flavours usually missed by the palate. If stored incorrectly, however, ageing can cause the murder to go stale, resulting in lulz loss.

An example of a famous murderer is Jack the Ripper, who smeared JFK while he was parading in an open top car - he won't do that again, the fag.

Rape and murder often go hand in hand. In this case, the motive is not hatred of the victim but simply the need to shut her the fuck up.

Can also describe a grouping of crows. The bird. Not groupings of fans of The Crow movies and TV series, fool.

[edit] "Premeditated"

Premeditated.
Premeditated.

There is some debate as to whether premeditation (meditating before killing) actually helps. 90% of murderers report that it does not, 1% are ninjas, and 2% believe that "you should experiment and find what's right for you." The rest were killed by their victims and were unable to partake in the survey.

Another interesting fact is that the majority of murder victims know the person who kills them. Therefore being a sad basement dweller with no freinds might be a good survival strategy.

[edit] Famous murderers

Murder is best when done for the lulz.
Murder is best when done for the lulz.
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