MySpace Trolls
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
MySpace Trolls are responsible for any and all lulz caused in MySpace groups. They come from a variety of backgrounds, locations, and lifestyles, but have united together in their mission to troll the shit out of every major group on MySpace. However, not all the trolling is win trolling, in fact, some of it fails miserably, like the rest of MySpace. Oh well, you can't expect the best on a POS site like MySpace. However, you can expect epic lulz from reactions to trolling.
Currently, a deep division exists in the MySpace trolling community, separating the "Pirates Guild" from those who desire to be touched by a special type of hug. These trolls are commonly known as the "Holy Ninja Empire".
Note from the author: most screencaps were jacked from Mission: MySpace's ImageShack account. Sorry some of the stuff has been blanked or watermarked.
What They Do
MySpace trolls normally spam groups and cyberbully users. Their favorite targets include Wiccan groups, gay groups, and groups for sick fucks. Most trolls use sockpuppets for their raids, and almost always get deleted by the watchful eyes of the internet police or some sort of internet humanitarian. However, the trolls each have at least 100 accounts, so losing a profile is never a big deal.
The Trolls
Here are the trolls and records of their lulz-making. Many trolls pretend to be pirates or ninjas. For n00dz, see the gayllery.
Devil's Bitch
She's the queen of MySpace trolls. She's been deleted at least 100 times. IRL, she's a 26-year-old former hooker named Rain Stevens from Canadia. Her trolling normally involves spamming using sockpuppets and the typical flames. It is rumored that she stopped spamming over a year ago because her brain just couldn't comprehend the complexities of holding down the enter key for hours at a time.
She was in a relationship with a former troll known as DLH, who feigned his own death to temporarily GTFO the trolling community. He has now returned, but really, no one cares.
DLH
DLH, or Dark Lord Hater, is the king of trolls. Not everybody likes him, but he gets deleted often enough for starting shit that he's earned his reputation. Some argue he has completed CSIII.
Theoneandonlysarj
Patrick Bennett, or Sarj, is a notorious troll on MySpace. He has been deleted at least 100 times, mostly by internet humanitarians. Mr. Bennett has been known to post pictures of his cock in troll groups, though nobody would fuck that fat basement-dweller even if given the promise of becoming rich and beautiful. Sarj's trolling normally involves TL;DW videos and spam. Lots and lots of spam. He even uses an automated program to do it so he can crank out even moar. Yeah, he has a life.
Cujo
This guy's real name is Ron Pruett, and he is most famous for soliciting buttsecks OTI, and for being unable to distinguish the grammatical difference between the present and past tense of the word "sale." His trolling normally involves ad hominem attacks using sockpuppets. Some argue this guy actually has a life IRL, but those people are almost as dumb as he is.
Cujo and his mentally challenged girlfriend have recently resigned from myspace after being pwnd unmercifully by users such as boOM and Sarj
The New Breed of Hate
The New Breed of Hate is a 17-year-old pro-ana emo juggalo with Asperger's Syndrome named Joshua Frances Niebrzydowski (more liek Niggerzydowski, amirite??). If that and the cheesy name didn't tell you enough, this guy's best trolling attacks were along the lines of "you're gay" and "NO U". Mission: MySpace and a few of his fellow internet humanitarians contacted Niggerzydowski's school and threatened him with a lolsuit. Even the FBI was brought in. The kid literally shit his pants and almost got 2 years in prison for spamming and trolling MySpace forums, not to mention being banned from the internets at school.
McKelley
He doesn't really troll much anymore, however, he gets baleeted for posting n00dz, and for being friends with the trolls - guilt by association is all a suckup internet humanitarian needs to get a profile destroyed.
Mr. Smith
This profile is disguised as a dog with an image macro stolen from ED. Many trolls use this alias, and share the profile for their raids. User:MR.SMITH has been vandalizing this article, trying to proclaim his greatness and show his pride in his trolling. However, he fails to comprehend ED:VIP.
The Rejected Prodigy
This guy's real name is Alex, and, despite his constant Bible preaching as a troll, it is suspected that he is an atheist due to his neckbeard. He's responsible for the card-like image of Devil's Bitch, and does a lot of Photoshop work. He also masquerades as the Flying Spaghetti Monster on occasion and likes to rap, indicating he is a wigger.
Sir William McTavish
This guy likes starting flame wars and moderates troll groups. He often goes after religious groups, and has been known to show his cock OTI.
Cutter McCoon
Some argue this is Sarj's sockpuppet, but its posting style suggests otherwise. It posts hate speech and uses proper grammar. Also, it doesn't spam as much as Sarj and is generally less infantile in its demeanor.
Auntie Social
Auntie Social is a female troll who is best known for starting flame wars. She attacks users in various groups in threads that are already going, then continues to rile them up until they go insane. Some argue she is a transsexual or at least a member of pantykin.com based on her profile picture, but she consistently denies this.
Wan-Dum Fuk
This trorr hass exremery good Engrish and awrays uses caps lock. He normurry gets into frame wars in frorums and uses the phrase "No Tudor!" Is a reference to a Scott & Todd prank carr of the same name. (Thanks for that, Wan-Dum.) His pictua is the O RLY? owr. He is a skirred frame warria and insurts America at rist wan hunred times per account. He's a crossbrid of a trorr and an irrerret tough gai.
It's Not a Tumor!!!1
This dude lives in Georgia and has the IQ of the average Georgian, which is less than three. He hates Mission: MySpace and gets extremely butthurt whenever he gets deleted for flashing his penis in various groups. One interesting fact about this guy is that he uses his real profile to troll - the same profile he uses for legitimate uses of MySpace. He's also really proud of how big his fish is.
Danny
Danny Hemachandra, a resident of Seattle, trolls the bodybuilding group as well as gay groups. He posts links to shock sites and verbally assaults group members, causing extreme butthurt and totalulz for all trolls. Since most of the people in the groups he trolls are trying too hard and/or desperate, he knows it will be easy to get them angry, turning ordinary MySpace users into epic lol-cows.
Rogue
Troll tits. She bitches about getting baleeted because she associates with the trolls, though she never actually trolls.
Lord Clean
He used to be the best troll out there on MySpace, that is, until Rob told MySpace to pwn him. Butthurt, he threw away a few final sockpuppet profiles before quitting MySpace.
Yucko
A troll in diguise as a clown. Often claims to be dead or undead. Not very persistent, just a minor nuisance. He is likely a 13-year-old boy due to his lack of maturity.
Ricky
This guy pretends to be a ninja, but he is a typical basement-dwelling atheist fucktard. His insults are inane flames at best, and he was outed as a pedophile for hitting on some other troll's 16-year-old sock account. Based on his default picture, it is likely that he is also some sort of retard or involved in cosplay. He's still a n00b at trolling, and he has shown no evidence of improving his technique.
Kain
One of the original myspace trolls, Kain, who's real name is Daniel William Wharton, claimed to be hot shit while simultaneously showing no ability to form coherent sentences, use proper grammar, or utilize any form of actual human logic. After being constantly challenged and ass raped by Sarj, Kain was completely pwned off the internets when danielspengies discovered one of Daniel's jaded ex girlfriends. Soon after, pictures of kain weeping in lulzy emo-like fashion were posted, and audio clips of him crying like a baby were unearthed. To this day, kain refuses to show his face on myspace, and instead curls up like a little ball at night, trying to pretend nothing ever happened, and deluding himself with the idea that people still respect his inability to do anything right.
it is also rumored he is a former member of Menudo.
The Moles
Of course, there are trolls (or people outside the troll community who happen to be in the same groups the trolls are) who report their friends to MySpace for cyberbullying during intense fits of troll's remorse. For n00dz, see the gayllery.
RobDoesTheInternet/Mission: MySpace
This guy is a troll in disguise as a homosexual internet humanitarian. His act has gone unchecked because MySpace loves internet humanitarians and anyone who tries to help them out. Danielspengies and Pure Hatred figured him out as a troll, but Rob denied it (just like his sexuality) and decided to kill 50 troll profiles in one day as retribution. This event caused epic butthurt among the trolls, producing epic lulz for Rob, who did it all for the lulz like the troll he is.
Danielspengies
Steven Newcomb is a 29 year old disabled stay at home dad from Sacramento. This fat fuck is emo and has no life. Thus, he makes TL;DW videos on JewTube and pretends to be a pirate on MySpace, "raiding" groups but always getting baleeted because MySpace does not liek him. Also, he is an attention whore who shows his fat naked ass in groups. If another troll causes him to get butthurt, he will either report the troll and get them deleted or have Rob do it for him. And to think, this guy was somehow able to reproduce. Danielspengies is currently being forced into retirement by his wife, because we all know he has a vagina.
The Id
Nobody knows if she's a troll or a mole, but nobody has seen her troll anybody other than the trolls. However, the person in her default picture has nice tits.
Jude's Army
Though she was really a fake, she managed to go undercover into some troll groups, only to report them like the internet humanitarian she is. She was equally hated as Rob/Mission: MySpace among the trolls, though she stopped reporting as many toward the end of her career.
Drama
Since getting deleted every week isn't lulzy enough, the trolls start up drama amongst themselves, or among other users. Before he went almost out of the picture to focus on his gay porn career, Mission: MySpace was the source of most of the drama, with message and group flooding, as well as the constant threat of being deleted every day. For trolls, this was entertaining, and even became a game - who would survive the internet humanitarian hunts the longest. However, the troll hunting stopped almost entirely when Jude's Army was revealed as a fake.
How it starts
Normally, The Id and Sarj start the inter-troll drama. Often they just flame each other for the lulz. However, sometimes other trolls get sucked into the mess, though those trolls are normally just sockpuppets.
Other times inter-troll drama starts include whenever a troll gets deleted or when a troll group gets raped. The trolls who get deleted try to figure out who got them deleted, but it always devolves into a tangled mess of NO Us.
Danielspengies and Devil's Bitch
Danielspengies and Devil's Bitch have been at each other's e-throats lately. It started as a typical flame war, but then it got personal when Danielspengies posted a picture of Devil's Bitch's ex-boyfriend, DLH. The flames started to spiral out of control, with threats of phone calls to Devil's Bitch's workplace being made and Devil's Bitch ordering a mass attack on Danielspengies' account (see right).
Gallery
 Danny doing his thing. |
 Rob is not a troll, gaize. Srsly. |
 The Rejected Prodigy is an internet tough guy. |
|
 Cujo thinks he's serious business. |
 Devil's Bitch. |
 What a n00b. |
 The Rejected Prodigy, Magic style. |
 A layout of the various troll cliques. |
N00dz
 Rogue's tits. |
 McKelley's cock. |
 Sarj's cock. |
 It IS a tumor. |
 Rob said this image was for busting perverts. |
 Danielspengies naked. |
 Moar of Tumor's cock. |
 Sir William McTavish's cock. |
 Moar of Sarj. |
 Moar of Danielspengies. DO NOT WANT. |
||
 Rob is too short for internet modeling. |
See Also
External Links
Troll House, moderated by Devil's Bitch
Danielspengies' profile
 MySpace Trolls is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars | Beware all ye who tread here
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