Mystery Science Theater 3000
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for you fanboy-types; Mystery Science Theatre 3000 for you English-types) was the greatest television show evar, widely regarded as the forerunner of modern-day trolling. First aired at least 100 years ago in a time before abundant internets, the show is one of the few funny exports of Minnesota, a state otherwise known for shitty football teams, tons of snow, crap, Rocky and Bulwinkle, and pedophiles like Sen. Walter 'NASA Must Die!' Mondale. The show retains coolness as one of the few cult classics yet to be fagged up by Hot Topic merchandise.
MST3K is one of the exceptions to not watching TV because it's been canceled to make way for infomercials and the shitty new Flash Gordan show!
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[edit] LOL WUT?
The cast of MST3K are as follows:
- Joel Robinson -- Initial host, nerdish and lovable. Raeped by mad scientists and shot into space. B& in season 5.
- Mike Nelson -- Newfag who replaced Joel in season 5, nevertheless lulzy and sarcastic, and not quite as nerdy. Not as funny as that first guy, but he's the head writer so...fail.
- Cambot -- Pix or it didn't happen.
- Gypsy -- Purple and gay, supposedly female, but clearly a man (and was in fact voiced by a guy in falsetto), not a staple of the show, usually occupied with piloting and maintenance.
- Tom Servo -- The lovable and lighthearted gumball machine robot, the cynical and more mature of the robotic riffing pair.
- Croooooooow! -- The golden, bowling-pin-mouthed wonder of scathing adolescent humor.
- Dr. Clayton Forrester -- Retarded weirdo who looks like a child molester and now works on AFV.
- Dr. Laurence Erhardt -- Dr. Forrester's kike assistant that nobody remembers. Dr. Forrester put him in the oven at the end of the first season.
- TV's Frank-- Clayton Forrester's fat man-bitch, later became a writer on Invader Zim, so partly responsible for spawning the current generation of stupid emos.
- Pearl Forrester -- A fat, enraged lesbian bent on the destruction of the Satellite of Love, by sending cheesy movies--the worst she can find (la la la!).
- Professor Bobo -- A lame furry created in the image of Planet of the Apes.
- Observer aka Brain Guy -- Necrophiliac.
[edit] Format
Over 9000 years ago, Joel's superiors Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt at the Gizmonic Institute decided he was a fag and stuck him aboard the Satellite of Love to be shot into space, where he was forced to watch all manner of cheesy B-movies or face certain goatseation by a pack of wild niggers. To mitigate the agony of unfunny movie-watching, he constructed four companion robots--Cambot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow--from the S.O.L.'s spare parts (which was just leftover junk the Salvation Army didn't want).
Every episode consists of the host (Mike or Joel, depending on season) being forced to watch a shitty movie. The movie-watching is punctuated with "Host Segments" which consist of comical interaction between the S.O.L. inhabitants and their captors or Pearl and her troupe of faggots, comedic sketches, the Invention Exchange, interviews, and the like. Transitions between movie-watching and host segments required passage through a sequence of doors, which became one of the show's hallmarks.
[edit] The YiffRiffing
All of the movies shown in the Satellite of Love are teh worst movies evar. In order to keep from going completely batshit crazy, Joel/Mike and the Bots candidly heckle the movie with mocking comments, quips, and clever one-liners. The majority of the jokes fit into one or more of the following archetypes.
- Type one - Pop Culture Reference
- Man: That's an asteroid!
Joel: That's no asteroid... that's a battlestation!
- Type two - Dubbing
- [Arriving at Dr. Craigis's house, Sherman looks up at the giant antenna on the roof.]
Joel [As Sherman]: I've fallen in with a group of ham radio operators!
- Type three - Confusion
- [Johnny spots a flying helicopter.]
- Narrator: "Oh, boy. A heel-a-copter airplane!"
- Servo: What?
- Type four - Interruption
- Mulder: Ground's dry about an inch down. This was laid recently.
- Crow [as Mulder]: … unlike me.
- Type five - Sarcasm
- [The screen shows: "Are You Ready for Marriage?"]
- Mike: Um… yeah, I'm sick of sex, anyway.
- Type six - Oh Noes
- Spacecraft Captain: We are the supreme race! We have the supreme weapons!
- Crow: Ahh, turn Rush Limbaugh off!
- Type seven - Reassurance
- Joel: Stay frosty, guys.
- Type eight - In-Jokes that only the MSTer Gets
- Pipper: McGreggor? Troy McGreggor? … Thomas' son?
- Troy: Yeah! Did you know him?
- Servo [as Pipper]: Know him? He was delicious!
[edit] The "NEW" MST3K
Because Minnesota sucks and they were bored because the show was canceled, all the cool funny people left, and the unfunny ones stayed behind to suck, they decided to make their own version and hired a Special Ed art class (possibly the same one responsible for those god-awful Phillips CD-i games) to make it for them, and the end result was shitty cartoons about butt-ugly robots.
