Nazi
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A Nazi is a member of the National Socialist German Worker's Party religion and a follower of its ideology. Nazis came to power in Germany at least 100 years ago under the wise leadership of Adolf Hitler. For teh lulz, they went and took over Europe and killed Over 9,000,000,000,000 (Nine Trillion) Jews. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.
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Nazi Ideology
During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice". The Nazi party and specially the SS attracted young Aryan homosexuals to join their lines and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as Animal and Furry rights, and Smokers lack of rights). To cover up their faggotry they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:
It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous Aryan nations rallying under Adolf Hitler. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.
The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.
To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally not gay. Women must make healthy Aryan babies. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!
Nazis founded a political ideology of and Antisemitism, Anticommoonism and far right doctrine that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However by implementing such free market, capitalistic ideas as government sponsored economic programs, government sponsored infastructural development, government ideology indoctrination groups and government sponsored violent coersion the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Commoonism does not work, everyone knows that the Nazis really rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.
Other Famous Nazis
Heinrich Himmler
Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working aspie and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, Neo-Pagan mysticism, serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed chikkinz, LOL.
Marty Bormann
Personal secretary to the Führer, and as such had total control of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the Führer was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he went missing, others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
Joseph Goebbels
Propaganda Minister and official emo child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a limp and standing only about 5 ft. tall and weighing only about 100 pounds soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly KAWAII. He was totally ghey for Hitler, so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a suicide pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.
Hermann Göring
After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to morphine and became a raging fatass. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and Field Marshall of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got pwned by the RAF.
Reinhard Heydrich
Chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around alpha male who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for faggotry. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, irony. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.
Eva Braun
Hitler's personal faghag.
Rudolf Hess
King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement without telling anybody. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments.
Hess's views on the whole incident: page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Blondi
Hitler's canine companion. Proof that getting a dog doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring furries to his wife Eva. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips.
Josef Mengele
A true pioneer in doing it for the lulz. Young Josef Mengele was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of science. Because of his hard work and dedication, the world now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with bleach, that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.
Tom Cruise
Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was an OT VIII Super Nazi. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became butthurt when Hitler tried to turn Germany into a nation based upon fascist nationalism and suppression of religion, so he hatched a plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made fapping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious douche kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, not his life. Tom Cruise was then forced to fistfight Hitler while shouting, "World War II is over! Let the Jews go!" - but that might just be in the Hollywood version. Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and pwned.
Amon Goeth
Modern Nazis
Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and dignified. However, nowadays, nazis are second most backward class of mankind after nigga. If you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble these fine exapmles of humanity:
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If Hitler was alive today and saw his followers he'd shoot himself again.
Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the internets. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are absolutely convinced that they are 100% right and will quite loudly tell you how right they are. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly shit brix and go into a fit of Righteous Aryan Rage.
Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music borrowed by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of Mein Kampf describing how the degradation and negrification of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the White Man.
Often modern Nazis will tell you how they are not about hate. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.
| — National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives |
| — Nazi Kid on Jews |
Other Ways to be a Nazi
- Grammar Nazi
- Pants Nazi
- Feminazi
- Scientology
- Wikipedian, promoter of fascism and "improvement of the project" over self-esteem.
Trolling with Nazis
- Say you're interested in National Socialism as a political philosophy.
- Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
- Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their 'ethnic cleansing' plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an anti-semitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
- Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, etc.)
- Put a swastika somewhere.
- Do something vaguely Nazi-ish.
- Shaving your head automatically makes you a Nazi suspect.
- Explain how Hitler was damn good at motivating people to do his bidding.
- Point out that the Nazis, especially the SS, had the best uniforms evar.
- Accuse someone of being a Nazi and/or compare their actions to those of the Nazis.
- srsly, do something with Nazis that isn't 100% NAZIS R BAD and just watch the flames come rolling in.
Typical Response to Trolling with Nazis
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All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in one DA account
How to Troll Nazis
- Talk about your happy and successful interracial relationship. Be sure to post pics.
- Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)
- Mention that the fact that all White girls have a innate, insatiable craving for a big Black cawk that no White man can satisfy.
- Ask their opinion on Barack Obama. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
- Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's Changing Society.
- Ask how the weather is in Russia. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as inhuman beasts.
- Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
- Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
- Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
- Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
- Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.
- Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over eleven million
- Remind them that it wasn't just Jews, but several groups, many of which included their own Ayran citizens.
- Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
- Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II.
- Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's speech at Poznan. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total Aspie who eschewed figurative language!
- Kindly remind them that Fred Leuchter has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand Zyklon B, and has been proven wrong by experts with actual engineering degrees.
- Mention that Hitler is one of the most despised and hated figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
- The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
- Tell them to to come up with something original. If they tell you they came up with everything themselves, tell them "no you didn't retard"
- Ask them about why Hitler choose to raze Germany and not assist wounded German citizens in the last days of WWII.
- Tell them how the film "Downfall" made you laugh and laugh....
- Ask them about Hitler's Jewish relatives and his failed efforts to cover them up.
The Fascist National Anthem
Gallery
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See Also
- Hitler
- Germany
- Godwin's Law
- DevianTart Nazis
- 卐
- viking
- Billy The Heretic
- WWII
- Metapedia.org
- war
- white people
- Europe
- skinhead
- white nationalism
- Republican
- Holocaust
- Holocaust denial
- Colonel Klink
- Hal Turner
- KKK
- Snapesnogger
- PunkBuster
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Nazi is part of a series on Nazis. |
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Nazi is part of a series on Trolls. |
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