Neckbeard
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A Neckbeard, also known as a neard, is the strange under-the-chin hair growth only seen on fatties and UNIX programmers. Also known as the "Bloatee", it is a derivative of the "Abe Lincoln" (Not to be confused with the sex move, since anyone with a neckbeard has no relation to sex.). Its purpose is to delineate the neck from the chin when the two have merged due to obesity. The wearer hopes his neckbeard will make him look like a badass from Hackers or The Matrix, but it actually just reminds observers that he lacks a fucking chin.
A neckbeard is never, ever cool.
All neckbeards are Dungeons & Dragons-obsessed losers, and vice versa. It is not known at this time whether growing a neckbeard causes one to play Dungeons & Dragons or playing Dungeons & Dragons causes one to grow a neckbeard.
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Chinstrap
Unlike the neckbeard, the Chinstrap style beard consists of a thin band (strap) of facial hair that goes from one sideburn, under the chin, and up to the other sideburn. No hair is on the cheeks, or the neck. The 'pre-pubescent boys neckbeard', the Chinstrap exists to make the wearer menacing and/or manly. It never works. Worn by those who cannot grow a full neckbeard, the chinstrap is either closely cropped to the face, or let to grow wild and free, proving the unadulterated manliness of the fag who wears it.
Many photographs of chinstrap-wearing pedophiles, furfags, gamers, wiggers, and other Internet trash are primary examples of Internet disease. The camera angles take advantage of the magical concealing power of the chinstrap to hide the bulbous pouch of fat underneath the chinstrapper's chin, for example.
It is a well known fact that kids with neckbeards get way more pussy than men with real beards.
Although not by much, a Chinstrap is preferable to a neckbeard, like a kick to the balls is more preferable to hitting your cock with a hammer.
Failbeards Gallery
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See also
External Links
- A loathsome pro-neckbeard website
- Achewood weighs in
- Fat [Fable] idiot refuses to shave[1] untill the game comes out
