Neowin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: Neobond has forwarded this article to the neowin legal department |
Grow up, you bunch of wankers.
Neowin is a Microsoft Fanboy blog, a veritable petridish for trolls and 13 year old boys. Originally based off a shitty PHP-Nuke script, Neowin has grown into a cesspool of thoughtless group think, with social dynamics not unlike those seen in the classic work 1984, or its IRL version, Auschwitz, except with less Jews and moar kids.
| —Neobond, creator of Neowin.net |
| —Bill Gates, neowin internet lawyer |
Expect to see a diverse, synthetic, fungus-like community of the n00b, the loser, the lame, and of course the obligatory computer and video game addicts who regularly wank each other into near-total oblivion. The forum is a modern-day sign of the coming apocalypse, an example of why small children should be kept away from the internet.
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[edit] Ironicles
Much like taking a solemn oath, or joining a fraternity, each and every member of Neowin is obligated to worship Microsoft four times a day, under penalty of sodomy and ban. Things which are made of AIDS and fail include, but are not limited to:
- The sharing illegal ISO's of Windows on IRC, the mere whiff of a mention regarding pirating in the forums equals banned, fucker.
- Exist as a Microsoft enthusiast site, yet have multiple forums dedicated to web development, linux, and mac.
- Poorly-written, simplistic reviews, which exist solely so the effete owner, Neobond, can use the money from the site to attend tech conventions.
[edit] League of Hypocrites
The major Neowin controversy is regarding piracy. Irony, they love Microsoft but they don't pay for their software: Windows, Office and Photoshop. Go on their forums, ask for an XP serial, and you'll have pimply basement-dwellers tell you how your disenfranchising a great company, despite the fact they are using a pirated OS themselves. In recent pool made in the forums shows 90% owns modded Xbox consoles, conversely, only 10% claimed not to have Asperger's Syndrome.
[edit] Acts of Neowin genius
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[edit] Neowin "Events"
Truly unprofessional journalism, as no one really enjoys self-indulgent blog postings made by the kids who get a free ticket to go an adult operation such as WinHEC, CES, etc. See for yourself, no comments or discussion, and if someone does, it's only because they wishfully think that mod ass-kissing will get them something. Kids, it doesn't work like this. lol.
[edit] Known Nazis
- Neobond
- Bangbang023
- Everyone else.
- gigapixels
- simon360
- The_Decryptor
- giga
- RadishTM, the banning Nazi.
[edit] True Idiots
[edit] simon360
This freak is known amongst the community for not only screwing up the neowin.net code on a regular basis, but also being a nazi mod when he isn't even a mod. Not only that, but he is a massive Mac OS X fanboy (a rare thing to find on such a Windows-based site). One must wonder why such a tool wouldn't go to a Mac based website. He's also known to append the name of the TV show he is watching to the end of his nick on Neowin's
[edit] giga
He's got serifs goddam.
[edit] The_Decryptor
He's a fucking fox, fuck.
[edit] Known Trolls
- snyper
- Boz
- spartan948265
- williamhook alias WilliamTM
- Several other banned faggots.
[edit] Shift Linux
Shift Linux is Neowin's linux distribution -- Now, we know we're just a satire site, and that people at Neowin say we're all about lies and trash here -- but let me guarantee you one thing -- This project is a pushover. It's basically Ubuntu with a theme background included. Why not just release a gnome theme, what's the point of being all grandiose and saying you're going to create the next good linux distribution. The project is basically a joke shit and copypasta =P. Nothing to see here people. Move along.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- Neowin Homepage - Have you accepted Neowin as your personal Lord and Saviour?
- Shift Linux Homepage - Ubuntu. + 1 theme.
