Netflix
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Netflix is a service that allows people to rent an unlimited amount of porn for a flat-rate per month. The problem is that there were 16 year old girls who use the service for their Disney movies, and Netflix ditched the porn in favor of family-friendly fare.
Their slogan is simple: "We're Not Blockbuster." This creates rousing cheers from Netflix's loyal customer base, but pisses off Blockbuster's Republican investors.
Last Thursday, Netflix took over Wal-Mart's DVD-by-mail distribution system. This upset liberals who think that Wal-Mart is a slavery ring designed to take down the Communist system once and for all.
[edit] Drama-By-Mail
You'd think an innocent DVD-by-mail scheme would be drama-free, but there always have to be fucktarded types who find some reason to bitch.
In Netflix's case, a small minority of tinfoil hat-wearing conspiracy theorists believe that Netflix is fucking them in the ass. When they put a DVD in the mail, they expect Netflix to receive it the next day and to reeieve a new installment of "Debbie Does Dallas" the day after. Since the Post Office couldn't possibly make a mistake or act slow with the bulk mailings, Netflix must be "throttling" their accounts and not checking in the DVDs when they're received. Thus, they only get 40 DVDs a month instead of the 126434 that are mathematically possible.
Of course, this gross injustice doesn't keep them from canceling Netflix and starting back up again with a new free two weeks. Like pirat ponton, when logic stares them in the face, they just holler a lot.
If you ever see a postal worker carry in a cart full of mail, these are full of Netflix mailers.
[edit] Outside Links
- Netflix
- Netflix throttling conspiracy site that makes the Time Cube look reasonable.
