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New York City

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Tetris Terror edition.
Tetris Terror edition.
Somewhere in there is a person from Los Angeles who just realized that his city AND state sucks cause it is full of pussys can't take a little cold and at the same time, talk with gay accents. But it being the 8th gayest state in the nation, that would make sense wouldn't it?
Somewhere in there is a person from Los Angeles who just realized that his city AND state sucks cause it is full of pussys can't take a little cold and at the same time, talk with gay accents. But it being the 8th gayest state in the nation, that would make sense wouldn't it?

New York City ( moar like Jew York City amirite?), or "Hymietown" if you're Jesse Jackson, is a city in New York. It is considered the "Capital of the World", but it is not even the capital of New York. The only people who care about the city are your mom and its own citizens, but they think that everyone else should too.

Contents

[edit] History

New York City was discovered by a bunch of Dutch people with a fur fetish. Back then Manhattan was nothing but hills and naked Indians. The clever dutchees tricked the stupid Indians into selling Manhattan for 12 dollars. Originally called New Amsterdam, New York City was founded on the sex and drugs trade, which still makes up a sizable proportion of its GNDPP. It changed its name to New York when Richard Of York fled there after losing the War of the Roses. Then some other stuff happened that no one cares about. It was a beautiful time to be alive. Unless that is, you were an Indian or a black.

[edit] People

New York City is full of every single type of person imaginable but mostly gays, Jews, and yuppies - sometimes all three rolled into one, like New York's mayor Mike Bloomberg. If you hate people, consider finding a different place to live.

Many, many, many Jews take up residence in New York, so it comes as no surprise that New York's sister city is Tel Aviv. All the money in the world is from Jew York so why wouldn't the Jews be there? Jews also hate people. They also need to find another place to live. Preferably Germany.

You will also find very many African-Americans in New York. Above 125th street, there is a section of New York known as Harlem. It is considered the "African-American Capital of the World". However, it is nowhere near Africa, which is why the area's children have food. This area has Over 9000 shootings per hour due to all the drug addicts and money hungry Niggers who stalk the streets 24/7. Many of these same Jigaboos claim rap was invented there, but rap was really invented by Latvians and perfected by Average Homeboy. Hip-hop was invented right above them, in The Bronx. Not Mexico.

Worthless Irish-Americans populate New York too. They are said to be the workforce of the city, however, much of their activity is actually related to wife-beating, serving the Jews as slaves and being alcoholics. There are more Irish people in New York than in Ireland, which may be the reason why it is the biggest source of bomb drama and shit-music fanboyism ever.

The rest of the population are terrorists and communists, who took up rest in the "Big Apple" (see apple) after 9/11. They have since destroyed many other buildings, their biggest accomplishment being the "Empire State Building Stink Bomb of 2006" which killed what was left of NYC's shit economy. Lulzwere ensued by non-New Yorkers worldwide.

[edit] The Boroughs

There are one to seven boroughs for each race, because the people of New York are mostly hicks or black panthers they cannot mix together. There is one borough for the race defined as "other." It is home to Jessica Alba and a lot of cats.

For those who wish to know, here are the boroughs:

  • Manhattan - Also known as New York County, Manhattan is filled to the brim with drama and lulz. Manhattan is your one-stop place for all things relating to patriotism, civil rights and porn. Manhattan is was famous for its HUEG World Trade Center, built in the 70s and split into two buildings. On September 11th, Jews from Great Neck, Long Island got tired of being over-shadowed by these monstrous buildings and decided to take matters into their own hands. This led to much butthurt and the pwnage of 3,000 New Yorkers. Other things to look forward to in Manhattan: rape, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building and Broadway. Manhattan is today completely populated with soulless yuppies because anyone who makes under nine million dollars a year can't afford to live there anymore. Hence, all Manhattanites are bland, boring, rich white assholes who deserve to be shot in the face.
  • Staten Island - Also known as Richmond County, Staten Island is a dump. No, srsly, it IS a dump. Staten Island is one out of two boroughs to be filled with shit, and even has an Ice Cream flavor named after it. This gives many Staten Islanders the right to be moar pissy and loud-mouthed than they usually are; but hey, I can't blame them, who'd want to eat ice cream with a name like "Landfill"? Staten Island isn't really famous for anything and should be ignored like an unwanted baby. Staten Island is ignored so much, that it isn't even located near the other boroughs. Lulz.
  • The Bronx - Also known as Bronx County, the Bronx is apparently the best worst borough ever, since it hasnt had The alterd to "Teh Bronx. This is a blatant lie because the Bronx is a complete wasteland of stupidity and confusion. The Bronx is the last borough to not be invaded by hipsters and yuppies because it is completely filled with spics and niggers who will slice whitey's throat on sight, although they're usually too busy killing each other for welfare checks and grape soda. The Bronx is famous for Yankee Stadium, where steroid junkies go to smack balls and become insta-stars and Hall-of-Famers.
  • Brooklyn - Also known as Kings County, there is a 100% chance that you WILL be raped the moment you enter Brooklyn. Brooklyn is infested with guidos, hipsters and nigras, and is the most shittiest borough evar. Of course, to try and hide this fact, Brooklyn has the motto "Fugghedaboutit" ("Forget about it" in human speak), implying that you should just forget about your problems. It sure is easy to forget that a filthy nigger shoved his ten-inch cock in your pooper and infected you with syphilis when you're in Brooklyn, amirite? Something that people don't seem to understand is why outsiders who know how much fail Brooklyn brings calls it "King's County" while the assholes who live there and think it is beautiful do not. It's a mystery. For added points (white people only!), walk into Bensonhurst wearing tacky bling and grillz, all while shouting a shitty Rap song at the top of your lungs and waving a gun around. While this would guarantee your place in the an hero book, this would give Anon lulz so epic that it could destroy the very fabric of the internets. Two feet away from gangsta brooklyn is yuppie fag brooklyn. You wont get shot, but you may get infected with teh ghey.
  • Queens - Also known as Queens County, Queens is the most diverse place evar. The best part about it is that races in Queens are segregated into neighborhoods. On the contrary to popular belief there are no white people in Queens. It's also filled with Immigrants and not the legal kind. Forest Hills is full of Jews, Mapseth and Middle Village are filled with guidos, Flushing is filled with azns, Jamaica is filled with guess what.... Astoria is filled with fat Irish drunks, Filipinos and gay niggers. Nobody really likes Queens because Queens is on the border of Long Island, and thus, places like Little Neck, Douglaston and Floral Park are considered satanic and evil because they are filled with the man. Try to rob a bank in Queens? You'll never escape the teller's booth alive.

A typical Manhattan street. Also included: Retarded fugly guy who blocks traffic and at least 100 taxis.

Fort Wadsworth in Staten Island is one of the most famous landfills.

Typical nigras from The Bronx. Notice that there are four boys and one girl. We all know what that means...

The electric company luvs Brooklyn so much...

Chances are, if you are Indian or a Beaner, you WILL be pwned when crossing Queens Boulevard.

A typical citizen of Manhattan.

A typical citizen of Staten Island.

A typical citizen of The Bronx.

Typical citizens of Brooklyn.

Obligatory Jew pic. A typical citizen of Forest Hills, Queens.

A typical citizen of Woodside, Queens.

A typical citizen of Flushing, Queens

[edit] 9/11

9/11 is the source of many internet lulz
9/11 is the source of many internet lulz

The phone number for emergency services.

Best response time to date: 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds.

Jews did WTC. Cheap nigger loving bastards.

[edit] Upstate

Also, New York is the name of a state. But since New York's so big, the other 98% of the state is called "Upstate". It's got Rochester, Buffalo, Albany, Mountains, the Spooky Canal, and squirrels, but that's all shit no one cares about. Also home to the charming hamlet of Oniontown.

[edit] Long Island

Home to The Hamptons, Long Island is one of the richest areas in the nation. It is also the 13th most populated island in the world. Nassau county is the 5th richest county in the nation. With the expensive homes of the North Shore, to endless beaches and islands of the South Shore, this is where New Yorkers go when they get sick of their city. It is extremely important for Long Islanders to let New Yorkers know that they know people who live in the city. This is true Over 9000 % of the time and is due to the need to be cool (always leads to Unwarranted self-importance). No Lulz ever occur in Long Island. Long Island is for old Jews who retire and can't make it to Florida. Mastic, however, is the bizarro world of Long Island.

[edit] Famous New Yorkers

NYC's former governor elect Elliot SPITTER is secretly a venomous primitive reptile, which perfectly explains why he's ugly as fuck.
NYC's former governor elect Elliot SPITTER is secretly a venomous primitive reptile, which perfectly explains why he's ugly as fuck.
NYC's ex-governor Elliot SPITZER was exposed by super-secret government agents to be a client of a high-end prostitution ring in a sex sting operation.
NYC's ex-governor Elliot SPITZER was exposed by super-secret government agents to be a client of a high-end prostitution ring in a sex sting operation.
.
NYC's ex-governor Elliot SPITZER getting his freak on with a high-end prostitute in a still from a super-secret government video filmed on hidden camera.
NYC's ex-governor Elliot SPITZER getting his freak on with a high-end prostitute in a still from a super-secret government video filmed on hidden camera.

[edit] See Also

The United States of Encyclopedia Dramatica
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