Nikki Catsouras
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Nikki Catsouras was an 18 year old girl who proved, yet again, that women can't drive. On Hallowe'en 2007 she decided to steal her father's car and take it for a drive. She was later found almost completely decapitated, having rammed a concrete tollbooth at approximately 100 mph. Concerned internet citizens rushed to inform the family.
[edit] Nikki Dies
The following events take place between the hours of 7 P.M., October 30, 2007, and 3 P.M. October 31, 2007.
According to her father, Christos Catsouras, he and Nikki argued about "typical teenager stuff" the night before she died. Christos caught Nikki 'smoking tabacco blaze,' (sneaking a cigarette) into the domicile. He disciplined her by taking away the keys to her car.
Nikki's mother, Lesli, said her daughter wasn't feeling well and had a 3P.M. doctor's appointment on October 31. Nikki's father, a real estate agent with a web site and a $150,000 Porsche, ate lunch at home. After her father left, Nikki took the keys to said Porsche and drove off to her spectacularly gory death. Meanwhile, Lesli called Christos, who called 911 and drove around looking for his daughter, blissfully unaware that she was no longer recognizable. Tragic, but not altogether unremarkable, you would think.
[edit] Nikki Lives!!
| —Christos Catsouras, BAWWWWW |
However, someone within the California Highway Patrol posted the photos of the accident to the internet. "Internet hackers", quite possibly under the influence of steroids, immediately started sending the pictures to as many of Nikki's friends and relatives as possible. Some of these messages even arrived during her funeral.
Shocked and Appalled, Nikki's parents concluded that a good lolsuit would put an end to the harassment. They filed a $20 million claim against the state for "emotional and punitive damages". Discounting the cost of the written-off porsche, a replacement porche, and the overall cost of raising their daughter, that comes to about $19 million in profit. The lolsuit is currently pending, and has in no way helped to spread the pictures of Nikki or motivate additional harassment.
[edit] GTFO N00bs
According to multiple news sources, the Catsourases (or at least those who still have faces) no longer use the internet. Nikki's parents have pulled their living daughter from school because they fear other students might confront her with the pictures. Anonymous has taken their actions as a challenge, and plans to install a billboard bearing the images outside the girl's bedroom window.
[edit] Conclusion
Concrete > Car
[edit] Gallery
[edit] Before
hawt. |
 Graduating from driver's ed. |
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 Nikki's gold-digging family. |
[edit] After
 The aftermath of a barrel roll. |
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 Lucky officer given the honor of pick Nikki's skull out of the pavement. |
 The person she hit before quitting irl |
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[edit] See also
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Nikki Catsouras is part of a series on An Hero. |
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