Nobel Prize for Racism

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The Nobel Prize for Racism(NPR) is, easily, the most highly coveted of the Nobel Prizes. The prize goes to a man(or, on highly rare and controversial occasions, a woman) who has done extensive research into the area of racism to try and prove something. The winner is decided by a jury of randomly selected middle class, white males, age 25-45. Potential winners are nominated by the general public and the jury does whatever is necesary to decide on a winner (usually involves either rock, paper, scissors or some sort of drinking game).

The prize was created in 1945 when several Nobel Peace Prize winners complained that Hitler did not recieve enough positive support in the media. They created the prize to honour those with unique viewpoints which are not commonly accepted, but are still highly accurate. The most well known winner of the prize was Caleb Rolles, who spent two decades proving that black people like watermelon. He is incredibly well known for his acceptance speech which became world renowned as the best acceptance speech ever given. When he won the award he walked on stage, looked into the camera, and simply said "I did it for the lulz." His speech is now often quoted online and has become a common acceptance speech by NPR winners. Another unusual winner of the prize was Joseph Sawyer. He successfully proved that white people were little more than a hateful race, devoted to assimilation, genocide, and the general destruction of everything and everyone that wasn't directly beneficial to them (and many things that are, such as oxygen and water). The

peculiarity in Sawyer's win is that it is the only time a research paper discussing crackers has won the prize. The jury is almost always prejudiced towards hiding the negative aspects of white people. Sawyer won by luck. After an extremely heated and intense debate by the jury (debate being game of quarters) the winner was so drunk that he mistakenly announced the wrong name as the winner(see: Marisa Tomei). Everyone present at the time was either too drunk, or too stupid (see: white people) to notice the mistake and the actual winner, Michael Richards, has gone completely unrecognized for his work in the field of racism.

[edit] Past Winners of the Nobel Prize for Racism

• George Bush
• Dave Chappelle
• Your Mom
• Mel Gibson
• The Kernel
• The police