North Dakota
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A big fucking piece of nothing. Colder than Maryland. Residents usually have to build bonfires in cars to stop the antifreeze from freezing. And even then, the fire usually ends up freezing. Hell, the snow even freezes.
North Dakota proves that a state can be made entirely of fail and gun-toting rednecks and not be Alabama. Some argue that North Dakota actually IS Alabama, only frozen over.
Oh, and there are also Indians. The kind with the feathers, not the dots.
[edit] Facts about North Dakota
- Has a population of over 9000, if you include cows. Wait that's Minnesota. North Dakota doesn't even have cows you fuckwit.
- Has nothing worth visiting, if you want to see anything you may think is worth seeing in North Dakota, its probobly also in some other state.
- Is really fucking cold see http://chairforce.com/fun/vids/minots-cold.mpg
- Is really fucking flat
- Has no trees
- Is not home to Mount Rushmore
- Is not South Dakota
- Is not Canada
- Is colder than fucking pluto.
- approximately 3 people have cell phones.
- 10 people have computers, 2 know how to use them
- in 1987, if it had broken away from the US would have become the third most powerful nation, and 1st coldest.
- it is required for all residents to hate South Dakotans
- don't believe in black people because there is no such thing black people in North Dakota. They're just those strange white people painted black for television
[edit] Famous North Dakotans
- Lawrence Welk, leader of a shit band from at least 100 years ago.
- That one guy who coached the Chicago Bulls back when they didn't suck
- Ralph Engelstad, a Nazi who owned a casino, built a $100 million hockey arena to troll the injuns, and threw birthday parties for Hitler. Wait. He was from Minnesota.
- Mexican rapist Alfonso Rodriguez, who killed a pretty white girl, was partyvaned, and was given the death penalty. Oh, he was from Minnesota, too.
- Dru Sjodin, the girl Rodriguez pwned. Nope, Minnesota again.
- The Unabomber. Whoops, no, that was Montana.
- Roger Maris (who still holds the record because there is no such thing as black people)
- Noone
[edit] North Dakota Discovers Emos and the Internets
On Friday, February 23, 2007, WDAZ, the Grand Forks news station staffed by alcoholic University of North Dakota graduates (fact: UND's communication program lost its accreditation in 1992), discovered emo. They immediately unleashed their research team on the internet, unearthing such unfunny websites from at least 100 years ago as the "I must be emo" youtube video and some quizilla quiz about quitting IRL for the win. As WDAZ is made of fail and AIDS, they took this shit seriously, interviewing overweight 16 year old girls and even a sheriff's deputy.
OH SHIT ITS AN EMPIDEMIC <b>
Sample quotes:
- "We don't understand it because we don't have that pain"
- "not what you say gothic, but close to it"
- "all black hair...it covers one eye. The point of this is they'll only see the world in half view."
- "Emo is short for emotional"
- "Some of them cut themselves and they like to wear tight clothes"
- "Emos, or emotional people, are first noticed by what they wear, but it's what they do that's dangerous."
- "There's a point system with this fashion...the emo scale is what they call it."
- "You hit the jackpot if you attempt suicide."
Cutting is also mentioned over 9000 times.
EMO IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Video also available here: [1]
WDAZ's website, including a one-week news archive: [2]
Lacey Crisp's profile is on the top of this page: [3]
Send Lacey an e-mail saying how much you liked her story: lcrisp@wdaz.com
| The United States of Encyclopedia Dramatica |
|---|---|
| States | Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming |
| Not a state yet | Australia | Canada | China | Cuba | District of Columbia | Iraq | Israel | Japan | Latin America | United Kingdom | Vietnam |
