Norway
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Norway is a dislocated barren ice mountain in the middle of the arctic off the coast of Europe, to the east of the failed state of Iceland. It is inhabited by the descendants of Vikings who were famous for raping and killing the French and the English. There are not many countries where people do nothing but drink themselves to death and beat each other up (including their family), but Norway is one of those proud few. Norwegians are more commonly known as Fjord Monkeys.
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Norwegian History
The first Norwegians, vikings, inhabited Norway ca. 9001 years ago. They eventually became masters of advanced technologies such as making bonfires and fishing. But as the climate in Norway is about as warm as the south pole, every attempt to become moar civilized failed. So, the bold Vikings raided places like England and France for the loot lulz. From then until the present (about 700 years), nothing interesting happened in Norway. Nowadays, Norway is a thriving country with a great cultural diversity. As they have a load of stolen Jew gold and enjoy stealing other nations' fish, Norway managed to stay out of the European Union, which frowns on both.
Poetry Inspired by Norway
Norwegian Sexuality
Like all Scandinavian blonde, blue-eyed countriesm Norway is a matriarchal society. Females there show great support for their daughters to the point of incest, as is the Viking tradition. The Lesbianism of Norwegian females explain why rape is almost completely legal. If you are Pedobear you can find for yourself some nice young pussy to care for, posing as a pediatrician.
Driving in Norway
Sports in Norway
Since constantly murdering and raping neighbors (in the distant past), one another (in winter months), or immigrants (nowadays) requires agility and strength, Norwegians have become highly adept at sports. Today, they excel at various disciplines, including:
IceAss Hockey: practiced and particularly beloved by Norwegian men.ArcheryArsery: see above.- Arson: burning down churches is a traditional pastime of younger Norwegians.
- Boobsleigh: local name for the sport known as "rape" abroad.
- Ski Humping: mobile version of the above.
JavelinJewelin throw: tossing a Jew aside, usually preceded or followed by the liberation of Jew gold.- Jewdo: punching and kicking Jews, legal in Norway and encouraged by the state.
- Dieathlon: Popular Norwegian game played only with foreigners.
- Short and Long Distance Running: only practiced by women folk, typically in dark places, with one or more men present; usually ends in boobsleigh above.
Fun Facts About Norway
- In Norway, only 1 out of 12 convicted rapists are sent to jail. As such, rape is believed to be about 92% legal in Norway.
- Norway used to have a paragraph in its Constitution excluding Jews from the country. This suggests that Norwegians were once intelligent. Then a homosexual hippy named Henrik Wergeland came along and tricked people into feeling sorry for them.
- Norway was originally a floating arsenal of virgins created by the Nazis during World War II to spite Churchill. To spite the French, it was later crashed into Northern Europe, where it remains.
- Norway has the world's largest population of black metal fans, who enjoy discussing Hitler, burning down churches, and eating their friends' brains [1].
- Norway was home to a very rare parrot, the Norwegian Blue, which is now extinct. The last one died on the set of an English TV comedy series in the 1970's apparently pining for the fjords.
- In the city of Tromsø, located in the northern region of Norway, 95% of all buildings are built from fish bones.
- EFnet has the largest concentration of exile Norwegians, though most of them are actually Russians with a bad sense of direction.
- Norway is constantly pwned by a superior country known as Wallachia.
- About 20% of all inhabitants of Oslo are drug-addicted, homeless beggars or professional thieves. This behavior is perfectly legal in Norway, because the police aren't allowed to stop criminals. Law enforcement is frowned-upon, because it is considered "rude" to uphold the law unless it's tax related.
- Racism is actually a sport in Norway. Brummundal city is what one could call "Norway's racism-capital". They have won the Golden Nigga trophy many years in a row.
- Income tax in Norway is 50%, a pint of beer costs 15 dollars, and a pack of smokes costs 20 dollars. There's a 25% VAT on all products in addition to other taxes. Most citizens are too poor to afford meat or fresh vegetables, and sustain themselves on rationed bread and goat milk cheese; only confused japanese tourists or old germans travel there.
- It is also illegal to smoke in Norway, but legal to purchase tobacco, and since Norwegians are
dumbrich, they still spend half their wages buying cigarettes, and wallowing in pity every time they want to light one. 10-30 times a day. They then throw them away and buy a new pack to stimulate the economy. Intelligent Norwegians therefore use snus instead. - Norway's Internet domain is "NO", which explains their massive tourism industry. Every week, Norway is not visited by over 9000 visitors.
- With the exception of South Africans, Norwegians are known as the most tolerant people on the Earth. They are friendly towards immigrants and warmly welcome people of any nationality. Black people are particularly popular in Norway and are expected to form its next government.
- There are two indigenous tribes in Norway, the Sami and the "Kvæns" (also called "Kvens"). In reality, they're not indigenous, they're just immigrant trailer-trash from Finland who want to feel special.
- The best Norwegian ever is named Toki Wartooth, which isn't even a Norwegian name (Norwegian names: Eyvind Mikkelson, Snorre Fiskhjärna etc.), and is actually pwned by Skwisgaar Skwigelf anyway.
Norwegian Television
The Norwegian Way Of Life
Famous Norwegians
- Varg Vikernes: An Norwegian hero (not yet).
- Erik the Red, a Viking who was exiled from Norway for killing several people for the lulz and went on to discover several useless bits of land.
- Various other Vikings, known for their improvements in the highly demanding fields of rape and pillage.
There have been no other famous Norwegians and there never will be.
Gallery
 Typical Oslo folks. |
 View of the business district in downtown Oslo, Norway's capital. |
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 1987 brought the worst natural disaster in Norway's history: an unnaturally warm summer. |
 Typical Norwegian weather. |
 Actual Norwegian meal. Enjoy the finest accomplishments of Scandinavia. (Not shown: the anus of the sheep, traditionally served for dessert as delicious cake). |
See Also
