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Numberofthebeatz

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES

A commonly known virus from the Maria suzae species.

As a follower of Branca, some can say that she’s not a very dominant icon in the Mary Sue fan faggotry. However, this particular suethor known as "Draw Girl Jassy" or "DGJassy" (don't ask) is one of the many viral species in DevianTART, and she will pair her very same retarded character with any (and every) lead fandom male she may possibly come up with, as well as draw all of them sickeningly kawaii. Of course, upon drawing these unproperly cute and soulless versions of male characters from various fandoms, she infects them with remarkable fail, rendering them limp-wristed, weak and fagtacular. Although she is lightyears behind Branca in popularity, she still has a rather solid circle of friends and watchers, particularly because she draws fanart of popular artists along with her own fancharacters she insists on inserting in online roleplaying games.

1 A Professional Suethor
2 The Recipe for a Mary Sue
- 2.1 The Plot
3 List of Raped Fandoms
4 Gallery of Sues
5 Draw my Character!
6 Quotes by DGJassy
7 Links

[edit] A Professional Suethor

Located in Germany, DGJassy is known for having done several collaborations with Branca featuring Steel Pot, a shitty "Gorillaz alterego" which gave enormous popularity to her idol, and Jassy, a cartoonified version of herself that seems to be begging to be shagged by whoever she's paired with. But she claims it's not lust for a fictional character: it's LOVE. As a fine example of a fucked-up weeaboo, she's always referring Branca as her sensei, and drawing lots of pictures based on their roleplay adventures, which make the worst soap opera ever after Branca's marriage.

[edit] The Recipe for a Mary Sue

DGJassy uses her character Jassy (in many variations) to explore new levels of failure by putting her through different scenarios and plotlines and fandoms, just to end up falling in love with the main male character. That means, if Saturday Night Live was a trend, she would draw herself probably as a pair for Will Ferrell. Let's face the facts: she would end up funnier than him.

[edit] The Plot

Jassy, who's the little sister of Murdoc from Gorillaz, sees Steel Pot and falls in love with him.
Steel treats her bad.
Jassy loves Steel Pot.
Steel doesn't treat Branca bad, maybe because she's his creator.
Jassy loves Steel Pot.
Jassy gets pregnant of Steel Pot.
Sensei doesn't let Jassy get pregnant of Steel Pot, because "alteregos can't breed".
Jassy changes the story, turning the offspring into an adopted baby.
Jassy loves Steel Pot.
Jassy has a crush on Samuel, another irrelevant character by Branca.
Steel gets jealous.
Jassy loves Steel Pot and Samuel.
Steel Pot fights for Jassy.
Samuel leaves (he was irrelevant anyway).
Jassy loves Steel Pot.
Jassy and Steel Pot are back again.
????
PROFIT!

[edit] List of Raped Fandoms

Miniko? BeetleJas? Jassy the Humanic Maniac? How ridiculously stupid can you get? Yes, those are the names of some of DGJassy's original characters in:

[edit] Gallery of Sues

Collabs are the way of life of every little Mary Sue. STEEL POT AM MY BOYFRIENS!!	Apparently, DGJassy thinks Murdoc is a pedophile. Here's her character Miniko, who loved him before reaching puberty.	Sensei says: "Come on Jassy, you can love my rapist, murder and Nazi character, but he hates you anyway."	Here's Miniko with DGJassy's sensei and their respective offspring. Gorillaz are not amused.
Her character Mindy pairing with Sweeney Todd. Makes us wonder what would she do if there was a documentary about Jack the Ripper.	Here's Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, trying to avoid Jassy the Humanic Maniac.	Poor Anna, she can't find Zim's cock.	For the love of Raptor Jesus, Zim is not a bishie! ZIM IS NOT A BISHIE!!
In the Harry Potter fandom, Jasmin is Snape's pair. Yes, you guessed. Another self-insert...	...who's got replaced by Andrea. It's like replacing DGJassy with Branca.	Beetlejuice fanart: the "ghost with the most" and the Mary Sue without a clue.	In the plot, Jassy got run over by a car and became BeetleJas, a ghostly self-insert. Sweet.
DGJassy simply copied the whole comic plot from another deviant. For a better understanding of DGJassy's idiocy, read the comments.	Miniko, just like her creator, copied a poem and said she based on it instead. Frida Kahlo didn't deserve that.	It's easy to use pre-made doll bases to rape South Park.	"Oh my god, they didn't kill Miniko!"
BAWWWWWWWWWW	DGJassy and sensei are ready for the party.	FAIL	Stripes make people look fatter. Pst, This is what she's up to. She wants to be like sensei. Congrats, it works.
Who wants to buy this? ... do not want.

[edit] Draw my Character!

Like any other crazy fangirl, DGJassy puts up many contests in which the participants must draw her with any of her internet crushes. In other words, she's asking you to draw fanart. The prizes are just wonderful. She lacks inspirations, so she's just redrawing the entry of someone else and pretending this to be a well-paid honour for the winners. FAIL.

Nice excuse to have fanart with her character and to lick sensei a little bit more.	Ewwww! I'm not a Steel Pot fan, not even a Branca one, GTFO!	...and then a fanclub was born. Now, let's make an avatar contest!	The best Jassy for me is... None of them!
"DGJassy needs new outfits!"	It's not about the music. It's about the presents.	One year of another attention whore like sensei...	"Johnny Depp is teh sex, that's why I love Sweeney Todd!"

[edit] Quotes by DGJassy

“	The most friendliest person in the group and THE WORLD, very clever and thinks before acts, would do everything for her friend (only not killing!)	„
—Numberofthebeatz - describing her sensei and also licking her Mary Sue ass.

“	Sometimes I think really... Life's lickin my ass!!!!!	„
—Numberofthebeatz - Trying to go emo but ending up lulzy.

“	Anyhow, do you know Anne Frank? I read her book now the fifth time!!! Tomorrow would be her 78th Birthday!!! Sadly, that this damn nazis killed her........hmmm.........dunno what to do now.......... well....See ya!!!!	„
—Numberofthebeatz - who's dating a Gorillaz alterego that wears a swastika tattoo.

“	You'll never guess what I read in a magazine right now!!! Our master in love, Jamie Hewlett, designs...VIBRATORS!!!!!!!!! Now I'm thinking... how could they look like?....like 2D? or better, MURDOC?!.... OH LORD!	„
—Numberofthebeatz - thinking that Hewlett actually designed the vibrators and not the characters stamped on them.