Nuttymadam3575
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Nuttymadam3575 (Emma Clark) is an emo lolcow of titanic proportions. Being unable to have a man due to her disgusting features and jack-o-lantern teeth, she has become obsessed with the shitty Twilight series by hack writer Stephanie Meyer, whose latest book was illegally distributed. She makes it obvious in her videos that she thinks Breaking Dawn is an "amazing booooook." She is one of the main reasons why Jewtube is awful due to the massive garbage people put up on the site. Her other passions include food, Bebo, and Linkin Park. She is a sperm whale. I say that because she will dive down to 7,200 feet for food. In short, she is a killing and eating machine.
Nuttymadamn, due to her lack of social life and actual friends, seems to have almost entirely lost her touch with reality, as her unnatural obsessions with her favorite vampire boooooooks, her profound hatred for critics of said books, her sexual fantasies about the main characters of these boooooooks, and her belief that what people say on the internet matters, clearly indicate. She is also suspected of being a closet otherkin.
Apparently the poor girl has only been fat for two weeks, (possibly due to mass cheeseburger ingestions), and has only recently been attacked by peg-legged sailors with harpoons. Cries from health specialists such as Anon to "Stop eating bacon!" have sadly been ignored. If her ingestion continues at this rate, she will soon be too big for the intertubes. Also, she has recently made a video attacking the haters! In said video, she claims to have people listen to her, now that she's becoming like a total Internet celebrity! Shamu is also a britfag actually we can't figure out WHAT the fuck she is. It sounds like a broken English accent when she talks, but it might be a British submarine she didn't swallow entirely.
Also, you might notice that her head is shaped like a cement block.
Protip: Look closely at her teeth when you watch a video. If you can notice, she had sucked cock to get friends, after bribing them, and giving them a few organs. You can recognize her friends because they wear bags over their heads when they are with her.
Warning: Proceed with caution. Nuttymadam does not advocate free speech. If you do not agree that Stephenie Meyer is greater than Shakespeare and Jane Austin combined then you are a WANK. She has also been known to scream randomly at the top of her lungs.
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[edit] Background
Being Scottish, Emma was born into a family of disgusting of inbreeds. This has taken its toll as she has the intellect of a 13 year old girl and suffers from Prader-Willi. Hence she has become a devoted fangirl of the Twilight franchise. The wild Snorlax first appeared on Youtube to record her reaction to the Twilight trailer.
| A WILD SNORLAX APPEARS |
It is clear that the humming we hear is that of her vibrator due to her orgasmic reaction.
MOAR LULZ
Also she fails miserably to suffocate herself and become an hero. TRY AGAIN!
The whale has finally went INSANE! WARNING- WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS A FANGIRL GONE WILD!!!
- [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHf-WJc_7Dw Nutty flushing her money down the epic fail toilet for a batshit movie.
[edit] Breaking Dessert
The finale to Twilight to Bella's point of view, Breaking Dawn was released and reviews had finally decided to give the series the acclaim it deserved as it received negative reviews. Emma raged as others had the nerve to have an opinion differing from hers. She created this lulzy video in response to the criticism.
A Baumtard wandered upon this video and quickly posted it on Ebaumsworld. Ebaumsworld manned the harpoons and attacked.
[edit] Snorlax Attacks With Body Slam!
In response to negative criticism Emma quickly made a new video bashing her haters. She warns us that no one upsets her friends. Just for fun, try to distinguish the sounds she makes from whale calls, anger, and constipation noises.
| —Nuttymadam |
In this video she declares her new quest to take on Anonymous. Unfortunately, this will probably not amount to lulz because she's obviously too busy eating pita bread sandwiches to carry out her fucktarded threats. She also seems to believe that being raided by anon will now give her the attention she deserves, and her opinions will now get to the right people, because the Anons will be sure and transfer her opinion to somebody who cares.
Due to severe butthurt, it seems that Nuttymadam has deleted the 400 or so comments that her new video acquired in less than five hours. Comments are also now being monitored. Spam her inbox for great justice.
[edit] Lulzy Quotes
| —Nuttymadam, on great literature |
| —Nuttymadam, in reference to her twinkies and ho hos |
| —Nuttymadam, on pedophilia |
| —Nuttymadam, on the fine art of masturbation |
| —Nuttymadam, on bestiality |
| —Nuttymadam, on hypocrisy |
| —Nuttymadam, on failed sarcasm |
| —Nuttymadam, confused by the difference of right and left. |
| —Nuttymadam, totally not insane at all |
| —Nuttymadam, on racism |
| —Nuttymadam, doesn't know how to pronounce her favorite author's name. |
| —Nuttymadam, high on crystal meth |
| —Nuttymadam trying to navigate around the fat to find her pussy |
| — Nuttymadam on ED. |
| — Nuttymadam on how to act hard on the intertubes. |
| — Nuttymadam on the VMA's. |
| —Nuttymadam, loves her lard |
| —Nuttymadam, on human faeces |
| —Nuttymadam, on non-twilight obsessives |
| —Nuttymadam, on selfish people. |
[edit] A Breakdown of Your Typical Nuttymadam Rant
1. Pause for three seconds to allow recently devoured Cheetos to go down the gullet.
2. Reply to criticism by screaming over and over, calling everyone "shtyupid".
3. Pause in talking due to numbness in arm and pain in chest.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 as many times as possible.
5. Finish and return to food.
[edit] Trolling Nuttymadam
Tell her Robert Pattinson leaked Midnight Sun because he hates Edward.
Send her the link to this article.
Troll her BlogTV. Be careful, she has been known to kick people out at the first mention of Shrek or harpoons.
Make fun of her E-Friend Rachel. It gets many Lulz out of Nuttymadam.
Ask her if she knows who Bram Stoker is.
Tell her that without Dracula she wouldn't have her precious fucking Edward.
Ask her why she is obsessed with a series marketed towards 12 year olds.
[edit] Nuttymadam THE REMIXES!
UHMAYZING BUUUUUUUUUUUUK.
[edit] A Challenger Appears!
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[edit] LIVE CHAT TIME NAO!
WARNING, YOU MAY VOMIT... OR SHIT BRICKS
According to Nuttymadam, the way to become an hero and efamous is by making a bunch of hater videos on jewtube, waiting for "the hackers" to harass you, and then post a link on youtube to your Blog TV... Little does she know when it says OVER 9000 VIEWERS, only five of those twitarts are actually fans and not members of "E/b/aums" waiting to capture some lulz.
Below we have the gallery of fail. Ladies and Gentlemen, behold the many many many faces of Nuttymadam...
 she's a really tough cookie! |
 DENTAL PLAN PLZ |
 She looks like a caveman from this angle... |
 COCK GOES WUR!?!? |
 STILL UGLY LOL |
 THE COW OF ALL LULZCOWS, LADIES AND GENTS! |
 NO YOUUUUUUUUU! |
 STOP FUCKING SINGING THAT SONG! |
 Not only is she Scottish! SHE'S AN OWL! YARLY! |
 Be vewy vewy qwuite. I'm hunting poptarts. |
 lay sum sugar on me? |
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 She fails at stealth, even on the internetz. |
[edit] Links
- Nutty's Youtube Channel
- Nutty's Facebook
- Nutty's Bebo
- Nutty's Blog TV where she broadcasts LIVE rants
- Nutty's second Youtube Channel where she posts her other... thoughts, and gives 5-star ratings to her own videos
- A transcription of her deleted vid regarding the Midnight Sun leak
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