OJ Simpson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
HOLY SHIT OJ's GETS 15 YEARS IN JAIL FOR ARMED ROBBERY
!!!1
BREAKING NEWS - NIGGER GUILTY OF STEALING BIKE
And 12 total charges
O.J. Simpson (also known as The Juice, moar like the JEWice, amirite?) is a good-for-nothing nigger (excuse the redundancy) who murdered his white wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her gay BFF tennis potna Ronald Goldman by decapitating them with a rather sizable knife. When confronted he authored a suicide note which was apparently done for the lulz but was perceived otherwise by teh fuzz.
In court Johnny Cochran (J.C.) saved his black ass from goatseation by Bubba unless of course he was going to become the new Bubba. He found that the glove did not fit, so they had to acquit him from the murder charges.
BTW, he's really innocent and is "looking for the real killers." Ya rly. Apparently, his house doesn't have any mirrors in it because the nigger sold them all for crack. Actually, in a civil trial he was found guilty of the wrongful death of Goldman and battery against Goldman and Brown. This means that despite being found not guilty in the criminal case, we can still refer to him as a DIRTY GODDAMN MURDERER.
As a typical nigger, he seems to be interested in nothing more than hooking up with white women. After murdering his old white girlfriend, he hooked up with another one (Christie Prody) and when she cheated on him with the pool boy Janos Gonzalez, OJ went to the guy she cheated with and told him "I will fucking kill you!" and when OJ Simpson says he's going to kill you, you better believe he will kill you. Read news story.
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Everyday Usage
- "Innocent as O.J." (translation: guilty as a motherfucker)
- "I'm about to go O.J." (translation: look the fuck out)
OJ Simpson is colored.
Initial Drama
Mark Fuhrman of the LAPD was ultimately pwned, as a result of having referred to blacks as niggers. The jury then played the Race Card, called him a n00b, and acquitted teh Juice.
A short video made by YouTube user 'Evaporation's.
Blacks believe he is innocent, because every brotha on the stand is a victim of a hate crime and quite stupid to begin with, duh. Whites, on the other hand, believe he is guilty, because all minorities have a propensity for committing crime, being Moon-worshiping Satanists, and all.
Murder For Dummies
OJ Simpson recently announced that he did, in fact, kill his wife Nicole and her lover. However his "Murder For Dummies: I Did It, Here's How!" was ixnayed by publisher Rupert Murdoch after getting himself a new asshole ripped by an angry mob. [1]
However, publisher Lifetime Books inc. received distribution rights after Goldman's lawyers told the judge that they needed more money. This decision comes a little late for the sparking of lulz because the book has been available on Bittorrent since last Thursday.
To support his addiction to snorting powdered blondes, OJ was then forced to resort to IRL trolling and tried selling the OJmobile on TV. You can actually still buy OJ's famous white Bronco, dawg:
Armed Robbery
On September 14th, 2007, OJ, being the uppity nigger he is, decided to play police officer in a "Sting Operation" to steal some sports memorabilia a bicycle from an upstanding white citizen. He claims that he wasn't robbing anyone because it was his stuff bicycle, he was just 'reclaiming' it and, besides, if one of his posse had a gun he didn't know about it. He apparently didn't realize his sports memorabilia wasn't worth shit after he became a murderer. After realizing he was going to lose the case he decided to plead that it was only for the lulz and cried like a little bitch. This argument however, proved to be futile.
Unfortunately for OJ, US law says that even if you were driving the getaway car in an armed (bicycle) robbery, you get the same treatment as the guy with the gun -even if you didn't know about it.
OJ is expected to sign a book deal covering the bicycle jacking and describing in detail how he did it, that is...if he actually did it. Theoretically, it involves a locked bicycle, a Kryptonite lock and an accomplice with a Bic pen (that OJ didn't know about).
Capt. James Dillon said Friday at a news conference that, because Simpson was involved, police were being extra careful to conduct "a thorough, unbiased and competent investigation."
Amazingly, the all-white jury found OJ guilty of these crimes on 4 October 2008. The verdict was immediately appealed but -nonetheless- OJ was sent back to the can to await sentencing on Dec 4th -a sentence that could be up to 15 yearslife in prison.
Bonus points were scored by the all-white jury when they delivered the guilty verdict on the 13th anniversary of OJ's acquittal for murdering his wife and her gay friend.
Fwed Goldman, the sperm donor daddy of Rawn Goldman, (and rapist of OJ's bank accounts,) met news cameras outside the courthouse immediately after the December 5th sentencing. He gave a press release...that is he tried to but got severely trolled by a gang of niggers. At times the news mics could barely filter his voice through the jeers of the hecklers, calling him things like "Gold Digger" and the ever-so-insulting "Jew." @ 0:19 No, srsly, who da fock would ever stand for being called a Hebe? If I were Goldman, I'd sucker punch that ape after throwing a watermelon at him...oh yeah, he is a Jew.
Gallery
 OJ...in a can...geddit? |
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See Also
External Link
- ojsimpson O.J. Simpson's Journal
- Get your own copy of
O.J.'sFred Goldman's new book Confessions of a Double Murderer. - You can donate money to OJ's defense fund here! Really, you can. All people of good conscience can contribute; in return, OJ will pray for you and warmly think of you.
Even though OJ is a nigga, his dick is a stub. You can help by steering him some male enhancement drugs.
