Barack Hussein Obama
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Barack Hussein Obama is an international man of mystery, the child of a black father and a white mother, who totally chose his own middle name (which means "good one," the haughty bastard). This makes him a "Halfrican." He is currently running for President of the US of A on the Democratic platform, and is currently going mano a mano with John McCain for the prize of being the next fuckwit to run the country into the ground even more.
To retarded redneck Republicans and Fox News fans, Barack Iraq Saddam Hussein Obama bin Laden Jr. is an Islamic Manchurian candidate, a Muslim posing as a Christfag who may even be the Antichrist. Of course, because he is a darky and a blood relative of George Bush on his honky side, he will probably just try to steal the election if he doesn't win.
To retarded liberal Democrats and Daily Kos readers, Barack Jesus F. Kennedy Christ Jr. is a messianic cult leader, the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy born as a black Jesus come to save America from six years of Iraq, eight years of George W. Bush, and two centuries of white guilt. Obama is actually a Jew-loving Zionist who will bomb Pakistan if elected, but don't tell his followers that. His followers also fail to recognize that, like every other politician, his whole campaign is all style and no substance.
[edit] Barack Obama's skin
The most important issue in Barack Obama's election campaign has been the amount of melanin in his skin. Obama's skin is perhaps the second largest of his body's organs, and surrounds his endoskeleton. Recent news articles have brought to light that Barack Obama is what some might call "a black man", and still others "a nigger," due to the color of this organ and the massive size of his largest organ, his penis. This has been a huge shock to many Americans, used to seeing campaign commercials for white men and then not voting for anyone.
Incidentally, when you get right down to it, he's actually half redneck.
The trusty American media sprang into action to resolve this monumental issue for a confused citizenry: Does Obama have too much melanin for America to handle?
Numerous surveys and studies were performed to find out just what effect his skin color would have on his chances for election. The results showed that most Americans are racists, and will simply vote for whoever has the same color of skin that they do. However, these same studies found that this was not the single most important deciding variable for the voting public. Americans seemed more interested in Obama's cock and balls, and Hillary Clinton's centipede nest. It seems that, rather than skin color, similar genitalia (i.e., penes or vaginae) was in fact the biggest deciding factor when Americans decide who to vote for on election day.
Republicans always liked to publish photos of him taken in the shade, making his skin look darker. He got real butthurt and in a vain attempt to make himself look more like whitey, had his bung hole bleached. Now it's hard to tell whether he's smiling or bending over. Most of the time he talks through his ass anyway.
[edit] The Timetable
2006 - Gets handed a senator's seat with no fight at all despite losing the debates handily.
2007 - Promise not to run for President. Burns all record of his Illinois votes.
2008 - Obama runs for President. Hillary gets VP. In a debate with McCain the week before the elections Romney beats Hillary with his healthcare plan, but in an attempt to grandstand McCain brings up Obama's most controversial votes, Obama replies That McCain himself once stood for the same thing and McCain enraged responds with far over-reaching hard line defense of his new platform scaring off moderates. Obama wins by 50% to 48%
2009 - Obama's assassination sparks the "race war of 09" Most Blacks are killed by a unified Latino/White army being massively outnumbered. As Whites attempt to rebuild America, Latinos ask for independence that in exchange for their help in the Negro genocide, that the Southwest be ceded to them. Hillary refuses. Violent crime in the west rises over 243% as the Latinos begin arming themselves for a violent revolution. Whites Exodus from the region and set up refugee camps in Kansas, and the now uninhabited regions of Louisiana.
2010 - President Hillary introduces and passes the "Obama's Legacy Bill" which fulfill all his campaign promises from removing us from Iraq, universal healthcare, expanding the patriot act, and the repeal of the second amendment. Troops deployed to the Southwest to maintain power. 87% are reported AWOL in 72 hours.
2011 - The Midwest unwilling to give up their guns for fear of Latinos, and the Southwest in a shambles, President Hilldog sends in the remainder of the Army just pulled from Iraq. Being mostly southerners join with the Midwest and refuse to enforce Hillary's commands. Mexicans strike a deal that they will aide the midwest/south in a fight for freedom in exchange for an autonomous Latino country in the former southwest. The two new countries issue dual Declarations of Independence. Hillary surrenders to her own Secretary of Defense at the knife point and recognizes the Midwest. Yet she refuses to cede Control New England and the eastern seaboard. America is divided into three countries. Middle America (Confederated States of Jesusland) North East America (New Oceana) and the South West (The Peoples Republic of Mexifornia)
2012 - In a last bid for power Hillary unleashes the Nuclear Arsenal of the ceded states via remote protocol "Megiddo". The Midwest Generals had long since changed the codes on their nukes, however the Latinos had abandoned the bases and did not know of their locations in their new homeland. Using the activation codes not yet changed 3 Nuclear warheads in the Southwest are detonated within their own bases outside Reno, east of Area 51 and North of Las Vegas. The Nevada desert is renamed "Mar del Cristal" or "The Sea of Glass" by the last few Latinos in existence. The Midwest agrees to aid Mexifornia in a last attempt to stop President Hillary before she uses any last nuclear weapons in her power. On Christmas eve, at 3:34 AM A massive arsenal of planes, tanks and even pickup trucks full of soldiers cross the Missouri river into a now abandoned Illinois and begin moving Northeast on intelligence that suggest Hillary has blockaded herself in Manhattan hoping to use the sea and civilians to her advantage.
2013 - Catnarok
[edit] The Race war of 09
Everything has gone exactly according to plan for the KKK, which has been setting up this race war for nearly 40 years and it's almost ready to play out.
For ages they feared a black uprising that would bring the darkies out of serfdom just as they came out of slavery. That's why we created the modern Democratic party. Welfare and Projects have kept them dependent for food and housing, meanwhile we kept the factories far away in Middle America. They relied on gangs for money so we brought in Mexicans, who hate them equally and take all their illegal business. The jewel in this crown was abortion rights. By making the party that the blacks flocked to for rights decades ago also push abortion we have dropped their numbers. From 35% of the population to a mere 17%. All the while the Beaners breed faster than rabbits and collect welfare for their anchor babies. All the while they legislate their own weapons away from themselves.
All we need now is one bullet from one crazed redneck aimed at Obama to drive the Blacks into an uprising they can't win. They won't accept the white nominee McCain, or the Latino favorite Clinton. Their riots FORCE government troops to fight them off with their superior numbers and firepower. They are valiant, they will fight to the last man, but we've made them too weak to win. The Mexicans will be thanked with a return of California and Utah (the states no one wants) and a white America will be at peace.
[edit] First Muslim Senator
Senator to Be Sworn in Using Quran By LOUIS O. LEHMANN
The Associated Press
Thursday, December 30, 2004; 4:32 PM
WASHINGTON -- Sen.-elect Barack Hussein Obama, the first Muslim elected to Congress, will use a Quran once owned by his father during his ceremonial swearing-in Tuesday.
Some critics have argued that only a Bible should be used for the swearing-in. Last month, Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode, R-Va., warned that unless immigration is tightened, "many more Muslims" will be elected and follow Obama's lead. All other members of Congress responded with "So?". Looking uncomfortable, Mr. Goode said, rather awkwardly, "Oh, no, it's nothing really. I don't even know what I meant by it,". Obama was born in Hawaii and raised as a Muslim.
Obama's spokesman Robert Gibbs said the new senator "wants this to be a special day, and using his father's Quran makes it even more special."
In the midst of all this, a real Muslim Representative, Keith Ellison, managed to sneak into Congress. A well-played plot by bin Laden himself.
[edit] America's 2nd Black President
As his father was born in Kenya, Obama's ancestors were never slaves, therefore giving him no right to whinge about slavery; this meant he had to find something else to complain about: politics. With his black sense of entitlement and his white personality, Obama set out to take over the world last Thursday. Obama is terrible at dancing, making him a failure at nigradom, but he can still sink nothing but net over the white boys from the three-point line:
Faux News has already started the slander campaign, labeling him a drug-addicted terrorist, like all good Republicans would. Some also believe that he is the devil himself and shall bring about the end of days. Additionally, the media dipshits are now somehow fashion police and told his black ass that he had to wear a piece of metal or he would be even more of a terrorist.
Obama has risen near the top of the presidential pack by parroting off the word "change" without even suggesting what kind of "change" he wants so voters can decide whether it happens to be "good" change or "bad" change. Additionally, he has very little political experience and actually believes this eminently qualifies him to be president above the other candidates in the field. The main reason he wants change so bad is that he's lacking cents (sense). Get it?
Additionally, reports have suggested that Obama has taken many of Hillary Clinton's ideas and simply passed them off as his own. While some are upset with Obama's potential plagiarism, others have acknowledged that it is just Obama's negro tendency to steal things off of white people. To quote Kevin Hassett, John McCain's economic advisor:
| —Kevin Hasset |
[edit] The Name
For moar on Obama's hilariously questionable name, we turn to the experts. To rapper and beacon of wisdom DMX, Barack Obama ain't no fuckin' name, as poignantly divulged in an XXLmag.com interview:
| —XXLmag.com |
Some of Obama's supporters, in a way that totally dispells the cult aura surronding his campagin, have decided to change THEIR OWN MIDDLE NAMES TO HUSSEIN!
The Jewyork times reports this serious business:
"Emily Nordling [1] has never met a Muslim, at least not to her knowledge. But this spring, Ms. Nordling, a 19-year-old student from Fort Thomas, Ky., gave herself a new middle name on Facebook.com, mimicking her boyfriend and shocking her father.
'Emily Hussein Nordling' her entry now reads'
Obviously there are a few EDiots out there with nothing but praise and constructive critism for such a *brave* act.
[edit] Obama on the Issues
- American principles: CHANGE
- Civil rights: CHANGE
- Disabilities: CHANGE
- Economy: CHANGE
- Education: CHANGE
- Energy & Environment: CHANGE
- Ethics: CHANGE
- Family: CHANGE
- Fiscal: CHANGE
- Foreign Policy: CHANGE
- Iraq: CHANGE
- Gun Control: CHANGE
- Health care: CHANGE
- His own Mind: CHANGE
- Homeland Security: CHANGE
- Immigration: CHANGE
- Political Experience : CHANGE
- Poverty: CHANGE
- Prostitution: CHANGE
- Rural: CHANGE
- Service: CHANGE
- Seniors & Social Security: CHANGE
- Slave Ownership: CHANGE
- Technology: CHANGE
- Use of the "N-word" in Mike Tyson's Punch Out: CHANGE
- Veterans: CHANGE
- His wife: CHANGE
- Change: CHANGE
Obama presents the issues and passes the savings onto YOU!
To sum up Obama's entire political ideals; he is a black guy asking for change. However, it's not all about change; there's also a nice helping of "Hope" thrown in, as well. Given his plans for increased spending, Obama is surprisingly not very niggardly.
Liberals after noticing the crink in their knees after months of giving Obama sloppy wet brain, have already turned on thier candidate! Failing to realize that the only way to have a poltican who is 100% in accordance with your own silly views of government is to RUN YOURSELF, Dailykos and Gyro delivary website HuffingtonPost are shitting all over Obama in their Echo chambers because he has become "Hard to pin down ideologically". Specfically over his changed views on FISA, pulling out of Iraq's vagina, government supported Faith based charity, and bicycle return policy.
This election will become a contest between who can fuck up and piss off thier base the least before November!
[edit] Obama's Baby Mama
Last Thursday, Obama's wife, Michelle, came out and made a rather lulzy statement, saying that, "For the first time in my adult life, I'm actually proud of my country." Well, at least she's honest; and as such, she has no business in politics. When asked why she hated America, she responded by saying, "I'm sorry, I was on my period." Here is the inflammatory statement, brought to you by the good folks at The O'Reilly Factor and PooTube.
Larry Johnson, a former CIA operative, claims to have a tape in which Michele Obama claims:
"Whitie cut folks off medicaid?
Whitie let New Orleans drown?
Whitie do nothing about Jena?
Whitie put us in Iraq for no reason?"
Although Michelle is black, her education overcomes such negratiude. The statements were, in fact, "Why'd he" refering to W, master of lulz and slayer of black folks.
With hard working and even harder of hearing men like Larry protecting our country, it is no wonder the Joos were able to Hannakuh-chop our towers down.
This was going to be a huuuuuuuuge story on the Blogosphere, but it seems people have lost interest OMGWTFBBQ, NEVERMIND! HERE IT IS!
[edit] Obama - A Typical Political Crook
Obama has been accused of committing double speak on the NAFTA agreement when one of his aides told Canadian officials that Obama's anti-NAFTA rhetoric was merely for gaining political points with his constituents. This has caused much lulz and craziness over his campaign and many in the liberal media are trying to cover up this story.
| —Canadian News |
Sauce of Obama's NAFTA Double Speak
[edit] Sex and Drugs
As with all politicians, Barack Obama is not without his dark secrets and shadowy past, and since Obama is black, this trait is amplified. The following is a video of some guy who says that in 1999, Obama used and sold crack and cocaine as the two drove around in a limousine. This mysterious individual then goes on to claim that he also performed oral sex on Obama! While this would initially seem detrimental to Obama's chances of winning the presidency, one must remember that a cokehead and a sex fiend have already served as president of the United States, however separately. Obama counters that no one would actually want to fuck this guy, so the stories must be false. Although these claims have yet to be validated (they're clearly true), the video still makes for excellent trolling material.
[edit] Nigrajamas
In a shocking and lulzy recent news development, Hillary Clinton featured a negative campaign ad about national security or some shit. The ad is set at 3:00 AM, and the country is going through a terror attack or something. Apparently, there's a phone ringing at the White House, and Hillary Clinton (in full business attire) answers it. The ad is supposed to convince you that Clinton would be better suited to deal with this situation. However, noone really cares whether this is actually true, because the viewer's attention is lost within the first 15 seconds when the letters "NIG" could be plainly read on a sleeping child's pajamas. Why Clinton chose to use this specific stock footage for her campaign remains unclear. Some argue that it's because she's racist, while others say that it's because she doesn't like black people. Naturally, the internets soon went ablaze in fierce debate, even though Hillary is completely correct in suggesting that nobody wants a 6ft tall dark-colored man answering his/her call of distress at 3 in the morning. Below is the original campaign ad along with some links to the ensuing shitstorm. Additionally, many parodies of the ad can be found on Youtube. Although it shouldn't need to be stated, TROLL FOR GREAT JUSTICE.
In an even lulzier twist, the delicious loli featured in the ad, Casey Knowles, says she actually prefers Obama, and denounces the ad as fear-mongering. According to her mom, when Casey shook Obama's hand, she cried and trembled.
More Video Links
[edit] Obama's Pastor
HOLY FUCKING RACISM, BATMAN! It turns out that Obama's long time Christian Pastor, Jeremiah Wright, is anti-American and batshit crazy. Last Thursday, rather than preaching to his gathering about how to better their lives or the lessons of peace of the Bible like pastors with normal skin, Pastor Wright went on a crazy, lulz filled rant on the various ways in which black people are opressed in America. Many Blacks agreed but told him to STFU for fear of scaring White voters who believe Blacks are totally equal now and many Whites went butthurt with fear and denial. Naturally, Obama denied all association with Jeremiah Wright, despite the facts he has been Obama's Pastor for many years and even baptised his children. Obama and Wright have even been known to have drinks on weeknights and attend Black Panther rallies together. When questioned about the remarks, Obama rejected his pastor's statement and facepalmed, stating, "Goddamn, it's always the half-crazed, aging black guys that fuck things up." There is still no word from Obama's Muslim spiritual leader.
Despite conveniently disowning his pastor, the White voters who complain about Obama's relationship to his pastor will still not vote for him. So he threw a 20 year friend away for nothing. LOL
Scary Blackness
[edit] Deez Nuts
On July 8, 2008 Reverend Jesse Jackson, bored with not being in the news, expressed a strong desire to emasculate Barack Obama. While Jesse Jackson was preparing for an interview on CNN, a camera recorded Jackson talking with a friend of his about the Democratic presidential candidate. Specifically, Jackson described an elaborate process by which he would forcibly remove Barack Obama's testicles with a sharp implement because of something he'd seen on the Cosby Show.
Unfortunately, the tape with Jackson's hilarious commentary has not yet been released for public viewing and approval. This is mostly an unfortunate situation for the American voter, because the tape contains additional choice words from Jesse Jackson which the network has deemed "too awesome" for nationwide release. For now, we can only wait to hear what else this failed presidential candidate had to say.
The last public threat against a presidential candidate's nuts was in 1884 when Grover Cleveland swore loudly into a megaphone that he would soon have rival Samuel J. Tilden's shriveled old man balls swinging from the highest tree in the union.
After they found out that Jackson's threat had been captured on video, CNN called both the Obama campaign and Jesse Jackson to tell them about the contents of the tape before they blabbed about it to the rest of the nation. This provided Jesse Jackson with an opportunity to preemptively apologize to Obama before Republicans could start telling jokes about it.
No one takes Jesse Jackson seriously anymore. Not even his own son, Ill Representative Jessie Jackson Jr. (an actual politican) who took the time to call the old man out.
Jackson's surrender:
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] See also
[edit] Video Links
- Obamas goverment mind control..
- Obama wins Democratic nomination. Yeah, srsly.
- A Video Portrait of Barack Hussein Obama
- Obama concedes to Hillary Clinton
- Obama behind closed pools
- Mad TV pulls Rule 34 on Hillary and Obama
- Barack the Magic Negro
- Obama's entry for the next season of American Idol by The Black Eyed Peas
- Blow-bama
- Sluts love Obama
- or Blow-bama?
- Obama's dark secrets
- Trolling Obama
- Obama did 2012
- Oba in a bra
- Why not put a Tarkatan in charge?
- Boss Obama lol
- Barack the Magic Negro
- Boobs for Barack
- Obama music video/mind control
[edit] External Links
- Official campaign site
- Official fan club
- Jews Against Obama
- Obama the Plagiarist
- Is Barack Obama the Messiah?
- The Assassination of Barack Obama -- The Art Exhibit
- Obama's Church -- Unashamedly Black, Unapologetically Christian
- Black Value System Concepts -- A Nigger Manual for Niggers.
- Black Value System Apologetics
ObamaisaNigger.comNiggerObama.com- FISA vote leads Supporters To Doubt His Promises
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Ann Coulter | Matt Drudge | Sean Hannity | Joe Lieberman | Michelle Malkin | Rachel Marsden | Bill O'Reilly | Karl Rove | Rick Santorum | Rod Wheeler Enemies of State Anonymous | Al Gore | Barack Hussein Obama | Emos | Fred Phelps | Hillary Clinton | Hugo Chavez | The Internet | John Edwards | Liberals | Macaca | Mexicans | Logic | Osama Bin Laden | Ron Paul | Stephen Colbert | Terrorists Buy A Dog | Corruption of LOL | Exploding Van | HACKERS ON STEROIDS | INTERNET HATE MACHINE |
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Barack Hussein Obama is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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