Terrorism
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Terrorism: achieving a goal through the use of fear or threats.
Despite popular belief, trolling is not a form of terrorism. Calling some one a fatty on the internets doesn't equal the Jews doing WTC. That being said, terrorism is also a highly effective way of IRL trolling. In recent years it has become increasingly popular as Muslims are crazy fucks and USA needs moar death, although it is only acceptable if done for the lulz.
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[edit] History
Terrorism can be found everywhere in media and culture. It is found in the writings of the notorious H.P. Lovecraft to the movies of terrorist Steven Spielberg. The main focus of terrorists is to make people laugh. Groups of people often pay at least one million dollars to be subjected to terrorism.
Terrorism often features explosions. IRL terrorism is not as fun, because often the explosions occur far away from the people being terrorised and are never seen, or are shot on hand-held cameras instead of film and when shown, are simply repeated constantly. Many people still watch for hours however, as RL heightens the drama, regardless of the fact that most of the time the long-awaited second explosion does not occur. One of the best examples of terrorism is the one-day only CNN movie 9/11 which ironically was shot on September 11th, 2001. Such high levels of drama caused many people to go batshit crazy. This is the mark of a good RL terrorist director.
Many people turn into pussies and/or Republicans when watching a good bit of terrorism. One problem with terrorism is that a good dose can encourage people to cut themselves, or sometimes cut other people, or start a war, or, as we will see, even start a war on terror itself.
[edit] War on terror
At least 100 years ago, a Saudi Princess named Osama bin Laden had sand in his vagina and was recruited by the government to become a terrorist. He lived in Iraq and wished to find a way to protect himself from getting sand in his vagina, so the CIA taught him how to terrorize people and how to train others to terrorize people. As it is common knowledge that the itch of a sandy vagina can induce cutting, geniuses at the CIA believed that cutting other people may remove sand from a vagina. However, the sand did not decrease, and, unbeknownst to the CIA, the drama of bin Laden's terrorism greatly increased. After a while, Bin Laden disappeared. Later he re-appeared and blew up America. It has been theorized that bin Laden may have a centipede filled vagina or in some cases, even a scorpion filled vagina.
Bin Laden's drama made the CIA very angry, as he had been specifically told not to do that. It also made Americans angry. Most Americans wanted to murder bin Laden. Instead, George Bush, the head ruler of America, decided murdering bin Laden was not enough, and said that fear itself needed to be stopped. So, he declared a war on terror. This is not what he wanted to actually do, of course, because it is fucking stupid. Instead of fighting scariness like he promised conservatives, he just conquered two countries instead. This, he said, was all part of America's battle against scary things for Americans, when really it was all part of the Illuminati's battle against their not having enough power or money. Bush made sure to tell everyone how scary the countries were ahead of time, even though he, like everyone else at the time, didn't really give two shits about them. Eventually, Bush's plan is to conquer the world. See George Bush for more on his plans.
[edit] Glasgow Bombing
Nowadays many events and instances around the world are misinterpreted as terrorism by police and the world media with a majority of people believing this too. This is mainly attributed to the worldwide Jewish conspiracy, who control all governments and media, and like to use terrorist attacks as an excuse to lock up Arabs and piss off ragheads in Palestine, lol.
One recent “terrorist attack” is an example of this: the bombing of Glasgow International Airport bombing on 30 June 2007. This chain of events was set into motions weeks before however when agents of MI7, two levels above MI5, were on a routine undercover sweep of Scotland and made a terrifying find. This discovery was an airport just outside of Glasgow, a chance for the imprisoned Scotch people to escape their eternal jail where they had been imprisoned for so many centuries. This very thought terrified the top brass of MI7 knowing that surely the Scotch would all travel south to kill the Queen and then destroy the English way of life, it’s what every Scotch person wants.
As such, weeks later a flaming car was driven into one of the terminals of this airport but due to a leak from MI7 soon the whole world knew of this. The rest of the world, not knowing the true evil of the Scotch people and their jealousy of the continental ways of the English, presumed that ZOMGZZ!!!12! A terrorist attack!!
However, this was obviously not the case. Even though Glasgow is industrial nowadays the rest of the Scotland is a Third World country in most respects, even the Scotch would be the first to admit this. If it doesn't have a Starbucks then Osama doesn't give a shit. The truth was that the Queen had given Doc Emmet Brown and Michael J Fox handjobs in return for them using the flux capacitor to go back in time to Scotland and stopping the airport from ever being built.
Due to a combination of Doc Brown skimping by using Wilkinsons own brand batteries instead of plutonium in his flux capacitor and ol’ Mikey J Fox having the shakes, the car drove straight into the airport instead of past it and the whole thing just got blown the fuck up. Fox even fhailed so bad he didn’t even kill any Scotch in the process. Most experts agree however that Teen Wolf probably wouldn’t have fucked it all to pieces.
Incidently the terminal attack was completly pointless as the muslims, far from atually killing anyone, set fire to themselves and fingered themselves while crying to Allah to "shove is asian cock up their batty creases".
[edit] Lulzy Terrorism
Terrorism can also be used for great lulz. When two hippies attacked the city of Boston using their hairstyles, sracks were brit. See Boston for more information on their great lulzy matrydom.
[edit] See Also
| Terrorism is part of a series on Islam
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Key Players Countries Traditions Infidels |
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