Oprah Winfrey
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Oprah Winfrey (moar like lolprah Failfrey? amirite) has been an American housewives' best friend for over 20 years. She is smart, beautiful, and easy to relate to, as well as one of the biggest drama driven megalomaniacs to ever fag up the small screen.
IRL
Oprah was born in Kosciusko, Mississippi to a religious family. Oprah’s mother and father were two unmarried teenagers and her grandma beat her when she didn’t finish her chores. Oprah always claimed that she was molested by a cousin, uncle, and a family friend, and she got knocked up at the age of 14. She won a full scholarship to a great nigra college and even won the Miss Black Tennessee Beauty Pageant. She now has a Failspace, lulz shall ensue.
What does Oprah's success mean? It means that black people around the world are overjoyed while white women still sit on their ass and cry over Oprah’s sad past. As the "Queen of All Media" Oprah is also the living proof that if you're the village incest-bicycle and get diddled by enough people at a young enough age you too can be famous. Despite her success, she will always be a negro woman from the South who is cheesing it up for the camera.
For those too young to remember, Oprah spent years as the largest snorlax ever seen on national television. She leveraged her reducing plan into profit as her loyal viewership looked on from the safety of their daytime television sofas . Perhaps not suprisingly, she blamed fast food, the only controversial position she has ever taken and one that brought on a lawsuit for defamation by the Association of American Beef Producers which she won. In a fitting ironic twist of fate, Oprah has now been selected by /b/ as the latest and greatest lol-cow.
Over 9000 Penises
On September 19, 2008, Oprah delivered epic lulz when, during a plea to viewers to support an anti-CP bill she happened to be supporting, she quoted the following from her website's forums:
THE VIDEO:
Digg for great justice.
Over 9000 Remixes:
Digg Pedobear vs Oprah. The internet must win..
G4 Attack of the show Highlights and Features.
Baleeted, but great opening shot.
I has over 9000 children, and they're all raping penises.
As word filtered through the intertubes, Oprah's forum became a source of lulz on September 20 as assorted anonymous posters spammed swastikas, NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER and /r/'d cp, shared tips on how best to lure child victims, etc.
OPRAH PEES FOR 9,000 MINUTES:
I has pee for 9,000 minutes.
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External Links
A Million Little Pieces Scandal (Moar liek Over 9000 Little Penises Scandal amirite?)
See Also
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Oprah Winfrey is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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