Transformers
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The Transformers is a nerd fantasy where giant, transforming robots fight a civil war throughout the universe (and according to certain fangirls, take time out to suck each other's USB cables). They are also robots that have become the victims of bad fan fiction, Mary Sue and slash fictions over the past 24 years. This titanic struggle was recreated in multiple cartoon series, a comic book or thousand, three video games, a trilogy of action-packed movies, an ornate series of tapestries, two books-on-tape, a Gay Robot Convention and an erotica collection.Anyone going to a Transformers forum or other form of media will experience the biggest collection of 40 year old males and 15 year-old girls outside of a Chris Hansen pedo sting.
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[edit] Characters
- Megatron: the robot that turns into a Nazigun. In the 2007 movie, he totally pwned the black robot, ripping him in two after being asked if he wanted a piece of him (acting like an Internet tough guy) and replied
| —Megatron |
This proves the nigga must die in every action movie. No exceptions.
- Optimus Prime: The main protagonist of the series who has the title of hero only because of his patriotic red, white and blue colors. He has become an hero in every series he's been in, making him the Transformer equivalent of Kenny from South Park. Fangirls insist on writing fanfiction which has Megatron raeping him at least 100 times, just like in the cartoon.
- Starscream: Decepticon fighter jet that was real kewl until the fangirls gayed him out and made him the power bottom of almost every Transformer in slashfic (but particularly Megatron).
- Hound: From the Transformer cartoon. He's the Autobot version of the live action movie's "Devastator", but instead of being a tank was a sucky jeep. Was dropped from the movie since Hollywood, being full of libfags as it is, hæts the military and is of the mind that soldiers are merciless baby killers that:
- Soundwave: Likes to say "Energon Cubes" like a real bad ass. Shoots cassette babies out of his chest named Lazerbeak, Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage,and Buzzsaw.[1]
- Blaster: Autobot version of Soundwave; acts like a total wigger. No one likes him. Has cassette babies too but no one gives a shit.
- Hot Rod/Rodimus: The most hated Transformer ever. Ironically, Hasbro executives truly believed he'd become popular after killing off Optimus Prime. Instead, millions of ten-year old brats locked themselves in their bathrooms and threatened to commit hari-kiri, thus becoming the first weeaboos ever. Transforms into a van with flame decals. A crack-smoking, AIDS-ridden Hasbro Scientologist believed every parent aspired to buy their children a neon orange, trailer-trash, gay mobile home, thus proving Scientologists have infiltrated all aspects of American culture. Retards in Japan think he's the shit, making him a weeaboo favorite.
- Arcee: Bit-part sluttoy that could easily have surpassed Hot Rod as the most annoying and a candidate for horrible death, especially after it was revealed she's a transsexual.
- Bumblebee: In cartoons, was a crappy Bug that no one would want to drive. In movie, was a crappy muscle car that not even the main character wanted to drive. Bumblebee was also (for most of the movie) a cripple that couldn't speak and instead relied on outtakes from songs/TV shows to do his whining for him.
- Jazz: The token black robot. Got totally shat on by Megatron in the 2007 movie. Actual line:
| —Jazz |
- Unicron: the giant planet that eats other planets. Looks like a huge pokeball. As an action figure, he is far too big and expensive for mere children so buy them something else.
- Cyclonus:
Megatron'sGalvatron's prison bitch and secret resident furry (HE HAS BUNNY EARS).
- Shockwave: Cyclops asshole who runs the space bridges and is secretly hot for Megatron, to the eternal dismay of Starscream.
[edit] Kiss Players
Kiss Players is a Japanese Transformers Manga and toyline where the Transformers fuse with human girls when they kiss. Optimus Prime enjoys having his human girl rub his shift stick, it makes him moan. This is what it says in the actual story, honestly Japan. When a girl defuses with a Transformer, she is covered head to toe with Autobot cum.
[edit] Transformers Armada
Weeaboo shit retarded white kids obsess over in the idiotic hope that watching Japanese anime will somehow make you Japanese. In the season finale, Starscream yiffs a 12 year-old girl, sending the fantards into instant orgasm.
[edit] Transformers Animated
Transformers Animated is the latest Transformers cartoon. By using shitty paper cutouts to depict characters, it proves Cartoon Network is too fucking cheap to hire Koreans animators like all the other fascist media outlets. Features a Autobot Weeaboo named Prowl, who will undoubtedly be a favorite of rabid fangirls and fantards alike.
[edit] Famous Faggots
Like any good fandom, Transformers has its share of pointless dramallamas. Here are some instances of better known ones.
- Afterburner is a racist wannabe 733+ haxxor who secretly wants some juicy black cock.
- Azrael2002 scams fanboys out of money when not giving her Transformer toys oral sex.
- Crooked The 12 year-old Final Fantasy VII attention whore who plagiarizes other people's work on fanfiction.net. Became Net famous for writing a Mary Sue rape slash fic where she envisioned herself as a Volkswagen Bug getting repeatedly anally raped by a F15 Eagle. Rather than come up with this sick shit on her own, Crooked just ripped off another writer's story and added the robot rape. PROTIP: Accuse her of plagiarism or racism to inflict lulz!
- Deathy fights AIDS for all Transfans!
helena1234 lets everyone know robot sex is serious fucking business.smart_blonde223 aka helena1234 asks "Why so serious?"
- Kalidor is a fat suicidal emo kid who swindles his users out of money.
- Koilungfish is the leading activist for gay robot reaming, fisting and anal sex; spawned an army of like-minded fantards.
- M. Chaos (aka kouri_shien) is a pedophile who lurks in the Transformers toy section at Walmart. Make sure to have her party vanned if you see her there or at a day-care center.
- Nicholas Morency proposes on USENET, tries to hire a hitman, and is all about the baby-rape.
- Pat Lee The stupid and incredibly homosexual Azn who ruined Transformers comics by laundering company funds which in turn forced the publisher (Dreamwave) to declare bankruptcy. This an amazing new paradox due to the fact his Azn math skills should have prevented this.
- scienceteacherSE is that egomaniac who has at least one story on the front page every day in the Transformers/BW fandom on Fanfiction.net and has over 100 college degrees. PROTIP: Troll her for teh lulzby being brutally honest about her fanfiction and use lots of profanity. But be careful; she's known to accuse people of being "noneducated" and then putting them on her "Banned List." As if anyone gives a shit.
- Simon Furman The guy what writes the comics. Mr. Furman thinks he's hot shit and believes his comics in the 80's made Transformers what it is today, even though nobody knows who he is and 80's era merchandise sell for more on ebay than any of his comics. In 2007, IDW comics released Megatron: Origin, which out-sold any Transformers-related content Simon Furman wrote. Simon Furman is also responsible for making the Transformers into Scientologists. Furman would later bitch on his forums about female robots in the background, something that displeases him as he likes his robots gaying out with each other; he even tried to write gay robot sex into canon and called it budding. With that in mind, it's no wonder that this is his favorite website.
| —Mr. Furman. Thinks he's a real winnar |
- Tramp is on a jihad to prove Transformers have peens and sex. He has stated his wish to become a truck and have hawt robot sex with Moonracer.
- Tut accuses former friend of being molested and showing off teh photos.
- When he isn't dressing like a child hungry pedophile, Walky is most well known for his oh-so-hilarious self insertion webcomic Shitpacked, which depicts him self inserting Hot Shot toys into his anal passage. His hilarious re-scripting of a Transformers comic strip making Hot Shot obsessed with jam was admired by all.
- Cyndilovespiccolo is the autistic fantard that took deviantART to Internet Court for bahleeting her gay robot pronz (thank Primus). She has now moved her crapfic to a private forum where all three of her fans can fap to it.
- Wiigii! hates Transformers, Transformers fandom, and pretty much anything that isn't Wiigii!. Troll him with TF pronz!
- Zobovor is the biggest douche to ever come from Utah. At least he beat his wife, before he left her for a 19-year-old girl.
- Kitten seems to think that Optimus Prime is Jesus, using 'Primus' rather than 'Jesus Christ'. She also apparently wants to suck Prime's giant throbbing robocock.
[edit] Drama Generation Techniques
FIRRIB is seriously the stupidest fucking thing to argue about in the history of things to argue about.
Another popular stupid fucking thing to argue about is whether the giant Transformer, Unicron, could beat up the Death Star.
Particularly talented trolls can always attack the original Transformers cartoon, especially in a one-two punch hating on the current shitty series that's being passed off as Transformers these days.
Troll the 4chan.org /cm Transformers thread, innocently state that Wheelie/Devastator are your OTP and invoke Rule 34.
Ask Tramp how gay Transformers make babies.
Ask if female robots are canon. Then accuse anyone who says no of wanting some black cock.
Demand that a fanbrat tell you how many times she's fapped to Megatron shoving his botcock up Optimus Prime's tailpipe. Drama absolutely guaranteed.
As a last resort, you can always threaten to rape someone at the Gay Robot Convention. Or kick their ass. Whatever works for you.
[edit] Currency
All characters in the known Transformers universe use Prime Dollars as a form of currency.
[edit] Gallery
 Pepsi is the right of all sentient beings. |
 Optimus cares about black Autobots. |
 God in the eyes of transfans. |
 Legion about to rape a trap in Kiss Players, note the shape of his tongue. |
 Autobot sperm |
 Megatron engaging in sex with Ratchet. |
 Decepticons only take PayPal. |
 WANNA' PIECE OF ME?!?! |
 Moar than meets the eye. |
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 Robot Buttsecks |
[edit] Trivia
- The first Transformers TV show was not an anime show. Try telling that to the Azns, though.
- Jazz, the only black Transformer gets killed in a very simple way when Megatron rips his ass in half. In the 1986 animated movie, every single other Autobot that's in the 2007 movie is killed off. Bumblebee survives but thankfully, has only one line in the entire movie.
- Micheal Bay on being called a racist for this: "I'm not a racist, Jesus was black too, you honkey cunt lol"
- The movie is actually a shitty two hour commercial for General Motors, Burger King, Mountain Dew and HEX-BOX 666.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Offsite Links
A walkthrough of some particularly ridiculous moments in Transformer fandom history
HAY REMEMBER THAT DUDE TURNED INTO A TAPE PLAYER HE RULED.
They hate people who write about having SEX with TRANSFORMERS!
They love writing about having SEX with TRANSFORMERS!
TRANSFORMERS IS RUINED FOREVER!
[edit] Bio human form
Yes, much heard about bio human, or holo form. Bio human forms are made by st00pid fangirls who want to drool over humans who are ACTUALLY robots. Fangirls instantly orgasm over it, thinking it hot that a 'Masters of Disguise' can actually disguise themselves as human! OMG, who'd have guessed?
| —Random st00pid fangirl |
There are also the faggot geeks who also think this is cool and orgasm over it. No one wants to know where they stick their exhaust pipe, though.
