White people
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
White people are not niggers in any way. Tbh most of the time they phail with epicness.
The superiority of the white race lies in their ability to blindly follow their leaders in perfect lockstep, however moonbat crazy the instructions granted might sound (even to white people (see "White Accomplishments" below)).
White people are so named for the pale, sun-starved complexion that was bestowed upon them by Chris Hansen, because He wanted them easier to see at night. (Note: Jews do not count as white people, as they are genetically inferior to even tribal Africans.)
As a subset of the Caucasian race, Whitey therefore includes such diversity as people of Romania, Spain, Sweden and Russia (but not the Middle East). White people rule teh internets, but fear that black people like Al Sharpton will one day rise against them after figuring out there's more to operating a computer than trolling chat rooms looking for bitches to gangrape. Whiteys (on the internet) are today's racist nerds, and believe that their race is superior. Supposed proof of this consists of the White Man's skill at flipping burgers, farming dirt clods, convincing their kids that incest is all part of God's Plan, and consistently managing to vote for the most mentally-challenged candidate in political elections.
Most white racists are now only found on the internet typing teh racz0rs on the internets in their home.
|
Typical whitey begging to be exterminated
Contents |
[edit] Whitey and You
Sexually deviant white perverts have fetishized every other skin color and ethnicity on the planet. Historically, white people had to rape in order to fulfill their twisted needs. Even the American founding fathers were having babies with their slaves. As white people moved west across the United States, and their European brethren colonized Asia and Africa, they continued to force themselves on native people to satisfy their desires. For this reason, everyone hates white people -- except for a few who are liked by black folk, as shown by the fact that a website named Black People Love Us! exists.
The white man's lust for the unobtainable creates a huge marketplace for the entrepreneurial pornographer, and rightfully so. The proliferation of interracial porn on the internet, sub-divided by every ethnicity (particularly Asians and blacks), is testament not only to whitey's sexual appetites, but to the fact that non-white women won't have sex with white men unless paid to do so.
It is worth noting that communities and conventions organized around a sexual fetish are mostly populated by white people, typically fat ones. White people are known to fall asleep while fucking, which is just lame.
[edit] History of Whitey
- Practically all which whites possess, they stole. This includes their black neighbor's TV set, who in turn stole it at gunpoint from Wal-Mart.
- They are too lazy to build their own economies, and so often got slaves to do it for them. One of the few exceptions of course are the whiteys who travel to nigger-infested areas such as New Orleans to assist lazy hut monkeys who wouldn't know how to wipe their own asses if a cracker weren't around. Before you assume "NIGGA STOLE MAH WIFE", remember that "HONKEY STOLE MAH LAND!"
- Modern whities came from Cro-Magnons, who drove the original whities, the Neanderthals, into extinction. Whities even stole the "old country" of Europe from someone else. A hint of things to come?
Modern whiteys (or "crackers," as this sub-human species is commonly known) were created at least 100 years ago by a black scientist named Malcolm X as a race of dull-witted living dolls for his fellow blacks to rob, rape, bitchslap and murder. However, the first whitey, Pat Boone, broke free and - in a crude precursor of "doing it for the lulz" - violated all of the goats on Mr. X's farm. The taste of goat spunk freedom was intoxicating to this most savage of beast-men. But the crazy cracker's violations weren't finished yet.
His eyes jerked towards the X family's barn, and a lopsided grin stole across his face. Boone's reptilian brain belched up dim memories of events glimpsed in that strange-walled cave. Too dull to understand the cultured sophistications of dance and song but willing to make a go at it, Boone stole into the barn house and startled Mr. X's pre-teen daughter and son, who were practicing the difficult dances of adulthood. Hooting and hollering, Boone's uncoordinated limbs jerked and spasmed in unskilled mimicry of the pair's delicate, graceful moves. The children's laughter was like sandpaper to his ears. So he fucked them to death. The vile subhuman went on to rape their corpses, hack their bodies into pieces, and place the remains in an ice chest in the basement as a breakfast surprise. (Note: you don't find black people doing crazy shit like that.) These events were to form the defining characteristics of the cracker race.
When Malcolm returned home, he was devastated. His lab was in shambles, and what's moar, Boone had cloned himself (never mind the technical details; just take it as a given that a barely-conscious ape-man somehow booted up his brain to Scientist Overman level and mastered the controls and switches of a pre-HIStory clone machine) to create an army of goat-fucking, pedophilic, road kill-eating crackers. After all the work that kind black scientist went through to ensure that Pat Boone's nest was snuggly-fresh and clean! This caused Malcolm X to vow vengeance on all crackerdom by any means necessary. His struggle would form the basis of the television show "The Jeffersons", which depicted a stylized version of these events, changing the goat farm to a cleaners and Pat Boone into some guy from England. The symbolism is obvious, retard.
Though white people often point to the Bible to justify their rape and subjugation of non-whites, this is in fact evidence of their illiteracy. Biblical characters were actually Semitics - mostly Jews. Because white people can't read, they often choose to watch films instead; the past 100 years of seeing white actors in flicks like Dumb and Dumber, Biodome and Ace Ventura has caused the mass delusion that whiteys are the chosen people. But none of this matters because the bible is entirely made up of rancid horse shit anyway.
In America, even someone who is 100% white is still, generally, a mongrel. Most white people have the blood (and frequently, also, the semen) of many ethnicities inside them. Within a generation of coming to the US, most sons and daughters of immigrants have interbred with the local population. This seminal intermixing guarantees that most white people have genetic material from other races. If not for this genetic mixing, white people might have gone extinct as the result of genetic syndromes caused by inbreeding, which most honkies prefer over any other option. Nonetheless, whitey as a race is doomed (see below).
White people have FUN!
In America, great social upheaval has occurred since the second half of the 20th century over employment and educational polices such as Affirmative Action, racial quotas and immigration visas. In order to make sure some real work gets done, American businesses, schools, and the government have instituted policies to bring in non-white workers. Many lazy whites have protested these policies, which they believe allow non-whites to land jobs they feel entitled to. On the high salary end of the job market, high-tech companies are forced to look overseas for H1-B work permit holders to find qualified workers. Even among low-wage jobs such as fruit picking, it is well-known among farmers that germophobe whites are unwilling to get dirty or do the job with any speed or efficiency.
Let's review: whites are poorly-educated, belligerent and disrespectful, unmotivated, and unskilled. Put simply, THEM NIGGERS TOOK OUR JOBS!!!
[edit] Whitey in Ancient History
Contrary to popular belief, Whities were not great inventors or civilized gentlemen who created civilization and introduced it to the dark savages. Whities were quite backwards, and had no technology or history to speak of. The only ancient Whitey civilizations even worth mentioning, like Rome, Greece and Byzantine (none of whom were even white), only had civilization because of their direct contact with Africa, the Middle East and Asia. It was those civilizations which gave Whitey civilizations their levels of technology, medicine and literature. When Rome and Greece fell, Whitey went back to his natural habitat: crawling on all fours over the hills of Yurp looking for a white woman to clobber over the head and raep.
[edit] Whitey in MediEVIL History
Whities are the slowpokes of Civilization. They had no sense of sanitation and would have 20 people drink, spit and snot in the same bowl of water. In fact, Whities were so backwards and nasty that the Black Plague happened precisely because they were so fucking dirty (fuck, even Japan had toilets by this time). Unfortunately, Sand Niggers felt sorry for them and civilized the rock apes by introducing medicine and hygiene. To thank them for it, the Euro-peons got jealous of the Moors in southern Spain, who are well-known by anthropologists for having technology superior to that of the white Spaniards, and attacked them. Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition! The Spaniards won by reducing the number of Moors with filthy Whitey diseases. Eventually, Whities stole boats and gunpowder from the Chinese and navigation from the Africans and went sailing. They killed off the Native Americans with Whitey diseases and took over Murikkka and took credit for everything ever invented. Because they were able to take over the world by spreading disease and stealing technology from other people, they believe they are superior.
[edit] Whitey and Slavery
Eventually the whites took over America and enslaved the blacks, yet even in a position of power they couldn't fight back their primitive, animal-like behavior. The most telling example of this was undoubtedly the raping of the slave women. To most normal people this would hardly sound appealing, yet so depraved a creature is whitey that he just had to get hisself some of that Hot Chocolate action. This eventually contributed to the decline of whitey's civilization, as the resulting offspring have gone on to make all kinds of problems we never used to have before all those darkies moved into the neighborhood. The worst of the lot can be traced back to the great-grandmother of Britney Spears, who is well-known for having the most hideous fuckhole in the history of fuckholes. Poor Brit is also famous for being the rankest whore ever to step out of a Louisiana mobile home.
While Blacks typically complain about the system, Whitey tends to complain about people who complain about his system. Whitey is a steadfast supporter of the status quo, no matter how much it works against him, and believes that everyone who gets fucked over in life is just "lazy." This is grossly hypocritical, given that Whitey got slaves to pick his cotton because he was too lazy to do it himself. Whitey's entire economy has built off of cheap labor from Blacks, Asians, and Mexicans, but this fact is typically lost on Whitey, who likes to think his kind invented pretty much everything.
[edit] White Accomplishments
White people are the sole responsible for the following inventions/innovations:
...and contributors (along with Jews and other mongrels) to these other epic causes:
- War
- AIDS chemically conjured by White devils
- Oppression
- Genocide
- The Holocaust
- Holocaust denial
- Police brutality
- Hunger
- Illiteracy
- Disease
- Stealing land
- Dishonesty
- Liberalism
- Liberal guilt
- Conservatism
- White nationalism
- Serial killing
- Masturbation
- Drugs
- Furry
- Science
- Bestiality
- Fantards
- Christianity
- The Man
- Big Brother
Adolf HitlerIts a jew- George 'W' Bush
- Ronald Reagan
- Ayn Rand
- Objectivism
- The Internet
- 4chan
- Cracky-chan
- Child molestation
- /b/
- Columbine
- Emo
- Shay
- Hannah Montana
- Melmo
- McDonald's
- Nazism
- Rednecks
- Sluts
- Americunts
- W Femola
- Whores
- Incest
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
[edit] Caucasian Behaviour
[edit] Whitey Social Behavior
Crackers have a tendency to walk around in public in a uptight manner, possibly due to either having sticks up their asses or having been almost raped.
The male White specimen tends to be a lamer, a Tool fan, a frat boy or an emo. During the day they flock together in packs at the mall or travel alone in search of non-White women to molest. At night, the emofag cuts itself, the lamer posts on LiveJournal or MySpace, the Tool fan listens to terrible music and the frat boy gets drunk and/or gets humjobs from freshman pledges. When a male White animal gets drunk, it becomes rowdy and aggressive, making loud whooping noises that disturb the entire neighborhood. Some scientists believe this is a form of mating call, while others believe it's just fucking stupid.
The female White specimen tends to be a 16 year old girl, an emo, a Valleygirl or some type of whore. During the day they flock together to look for clothes or fattening food, or go out in search of frat boys to "hook up with." At night, they get on Facebook or MySpace, shamelessly promoting themselves and basking in the glow of unwarranted self-importance. The Valleygirl often turns into a were-bitch that wrecks parties, while the whore gets drunk to the point of passing out and getting almost raped, which they soon reveal in a tell-all entry on LiveJournal.
White women have by far precipitated to represent the worst elements of femininity. This phenomenon began in 1066, when William the Conqueror introduced the doctrine of prima nocte, allowing his relatives to fuck all the women on their estates on their wedding nights before their husbands could get them some. Over time, this practice became a commercial one, with white women evolving into prostitutes and subsequently introducing "whore culture" to the New World.
In the summertime, white people, especially the middle-aged ones, will inevitably wear inappropriately short shorts to show off their marmalade-esque, shapeless legs. They seem to think other people enjoy seeing these varicose vein-riddled blobs of uncooked dough, but they are badly mistaken.
Whiteys typically love dissing non-White people so they can feel important and good about their pasty, unattractive selves.
[edit] Whitey Sexual Behavior
Whiteys are world-renowned rapists and dabblers in all sorts of sexual perversion. White men rape women in Asia, take sex slaves from Africa and South America, and take child prostitutes from Eastern Europe with impunity, as Whitey can do no wrong in his own eyes. Blame for all the world's sexual abuse is shifted to the darkies, and Whitey's record stays at clean as his skin (unless he's white trash, which is sort of like "dark" white meat.) Thanks to YT Revisionist History, all those Native American and slave women that had the white man's johnson plunged forcefully into them were simply asking for it. The white man is also known for being sexually perverse (more like diverse, amirite?) and is not above having sex with dogs or taking it in the ass from horses. Not surprisingly, white women are known for preferring non-White Black 12+ inch cock over skimpy little 2- inch White Cocks, and sometimes for having extreme fetishes and dying from bizarre sexual acts.
[edit] Eating and Shopping Habits of Whitey
A strange dichotomy exists within white shopping culture. While most white people just eat crap, hippies, yuppies and others swollen with liberal guilt tend to purchase so-called "healthy food," and can often be seen buying organic products. The more expensive and Earth-friendly it is, the more this consumer cross-section must have it. They also bring their own bags to the store, usually tiny misshapen hemp bags handmade by women from the local battered woman's shelter that cannot hold their $350 worth of soy products and K-Y Jelly. Strangely enough, for people who insist on "cruelty-free" products, they certainly do tend to be assholes towards to the hired help of stores and restaurants. A no-cruelty mindset does not extend toward the lower class; wearing a cheap polo shirt and plastic nametag will make you shit in there eyes. They care more about animals than people, it would seem. See Peta.
Amongst white trash, greasy, nutritionally barren food is the norm. Hamburgers, Americanized "Mexican Food", and the ubiquitous all-you-can-eat buffet are essential to the white American diet. Picture if you will a 500-pound fat fuck who is actually malnourished, living amongst a pile of McDonald's wrappers and shitty discarded underwear while drinking a Diet Coke. Nothing beats good-old white ingenuity!
[edit] Where Whitey Lives
White people tend to congregate outside of cities in large developments of houses that look completely alike. Because their brains lack the ability to grasp many new concepts, they are frightened and disturbed by anything unusual or that requires complex thought to understand. It is because of this that whites create large housing developments with strict rules. In a development, some usual rules include the required possession of: one bible per person, one white person of the opposite sex bound by marriage, one to two children, more than $50,000 per year in income per independent, many expensive and shiny objects with which to occupy oneself, a satellite dish that receives 500 or more channels, multiple cars, jobs (preferably office work), and very green, evenly trimmed grass. Any and all skeletons should be buried very deeply in closets; such abnormalities can cause other whites to become scared, stop allowing their children outside, call the police, or curse you in church. In the event that particularly troubling skeletons or revealed, whitey may riot, commit arson, or kill you. Yes, it's that serious.
Whitey is also known to chill under specially designated white trees.
Whitey lives on the top of the mountain.
[edit] World of Whitecraft (Racial Abilities)
Unlike the lesser members of the Horde, Orcs (Blacks), Trolls (Blacks), Blood Elves (Weeaboo faggots), and Tauren (Black Furries) - whose abilities are limited to "Beast Mastery" and Rage-based attacks - the noble white man benefits greatly from in-game life-imitating-art: aside from the naturally evolved Increased Stealth Detection, Increased Expertise with Law and Knots, and Bonus to Reputation Gains traits, all white people receive Immune to Racism as an additional ability.
Several futile attempts at counter-racism by Shoggothian races, such as "Whitey," "Cracker," "Honkey," "WASP," etc have all met similar, futile and hilarious fates; contributing to the white man's already bloated unwarranted self importance.
Developed at least 100 years ago by the English in The Eastern Kingdoms to combat the hard stares and disparaging remarks of their slaves, it is expectantly impossible to insult whitey based on the perfect colour of his skin. Additionally, males of the white race also receive Resist Sexism, as white men are the most attacked demographic on earth... but you don't hear them going on about it, amirite?
[edit] Typical White People's pastimes
 Borderline homosexual sleepover parties. |
 More borderline homosexual sleepover parties. |
 Sneaking into the women's shower room. |
|
 MOAR |
 Going to McDonald's. |
 |
[edit] Not all White People Are White
Despite the degrading implications that come with being associated with the white race, there are still those who take pride in pretending they are at least loosely associated with this perverted species of rapists and plunderers. Some examples include:
- Coconut: Brown on the outside; white on the inside. May be Pakis, spooks, or Beaners.
- Oreo: Black on the outside; white on the inside.
- Apple: Red on the outside; white on the inside.
- Twinkie or Banana: Yellow on the outside; white on the inside.
Harassment, beatings and the popping of caps into one's ass are typical responses to these individuals. If you see one, please react accordingly.
[edit] Other terms
- YT
- Cracker
- Hick
- Hillbilly
- Honkey
- Hoosier
- Pea-pickers
- Redneck
- Trailer trash
- Wigger
- Yokel
- White Trash
- Fishbelly
- Cocksauce
- Maggot
- Massa
[edit] Conclusion
White men are self-loathing turds who are afraid of everything, including themselves. You hate black people because they supposedly aren't productive enough in society. So you faggots should love the Jews right? No, you insecure pussies hate them too because they fucking beat you at your own shit. Same with Asians, you hate them because they’re too smart. You never hear Asians whining like goddamn white retards do about blacks getting affirmative action. Mexicans want to come here to WORK. No, no, we can’t have more productive members of society, they’ll steal the job you hate at McDonald’s or what the fuck ever. Must suck to be a white guy. Your dicks are smaller than blacks, you’re dumber than Asians and Jews, and you're lazier than Mexicans. Fuck, even white women are slowly but surely becoming more educated and successful than you faggots. Enjoy reveling in your past achievements. Soon white guys will have nothing to do, while blacks fuck their women, Jews, Asians and women run everything, and Mexicans do all the shit jobs. Oppression can only hide your inadequacies for so long, pal.
"All white people are going to hell."
[edit] The End of the White Man?
Recent events have shown that the white man is starting to lose power over his world, and that the niggers will eventually take over. And when or if they do, what a sad, sad day that will be. Especially if it turns out Obama IS a muslim.
[edit] Cracker Jokes
What's white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing!
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line!
Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It's hard to find them in the snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.
Why do white people like to play hockey? It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they're not a cop.
What's the definition of a white virgin? Any girl who can outrun her father and brothers.
How do you castrate a white person? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do white women, and tampons have in common? They're both stuck up cunts.
What's big, long, and white? I still don't know yet.
Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes? Cause being white is bad enough
[edit] See also
- White Middle Class Liberal
- Black People Love Us!
- Missing white woman syndrome
- Average Homeboy
- Marry Your Pet
- White nationalism
- Christian rock
- A White Man
- ZrA
- Chuggo
- You
