POE News

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The totem animal of the typical PoE News poster

PoE News is a sister website to the Portal of Evil. While the Portal of Evil features hilarious and stupid websites, PoE News features hilarious and stupid forum posters in addition to a daily updated list of bizarre and/or humorous new stories in a range of categories:

Movies
Video Games
The War Sucks
Movies About Video Games
Funny Accidents
Surprise Sex

1 Forums
- 1.1 Superiority complex
2 Forum factions
3 Infamous Posters

[edit] Forums

PoE News is best known for its extensive forums, which perform a valuable service as a regular supply of lulz especially whenever the topic of rape is raised.

The forums are populated by a tragic assemblage of broken people:

Unemployed English, Classics, and Philosophy majors all desperate to try to prove that their educations actually count for shit
Tragic middle-aged nerds (known as 'Binros in PoE-speak)
Renegade Canadian professors of mediaeval cocksuckery
Fat fugly chicks
Dog-fuckers
~~King Prawn~~

[edit] Superiority complex

The inmates of PoE News consider themselves superior to the lumpenproletariat over to Portal of Evil despite both forums having the same members. PoE News also likes to imagine it is superior to Fark, but in reality this is just due to the PoE posters not having figured out how to steal Photoshop.

[edit] Forum factions

[edit] Debate Reform Party

DRP emblem

Warthur, one of the biggest faggots in the DRP

The Debate Reform Party, or DRP, is a faction of weepy faggots who are currently campaigning to impose authoritarian restrictions on contributors to the website. Under DRP proposals, the following are listed as "bannable offenses":

Posts that contain derogatory remarks toward other users of the website
- Ad hominem attacks that do not address specific points of a user's argument
- Posts that indicate a superior or generally haughty demeanor
- Posts that are less than two full lines in length
- Posts that are "non sequitur," or do not follow a DRP-approved logical progression
- Posts that make DRP members feel unwelcome or unincluded
- Posts that indicate a consensus that does not appeal to a DRP member
- Posts that mention Alektorophobic
- Posts that bring joy to the intelligent
- Posts that express dissatisfaction of any sort
- Posts that indicate an active social life for the author
- Posts by authors on Lists made by DRP members.

As a general policy guideline, any DRP member is entitled to "put a name on a List" at any time. When a POE-News poster's name is added to a List, he is subject to the disapproval of the maker of the List, and may be asked by the List maker to take a break from contributing to the website until the List maker has forgiven or forgotten the offense.

The DRP takes in most of its membership from the fields of: Accounting, spreadsheet thumping, tabulating, programming, anime tabulating, They Might Be Giants fandom, video game thumping, Objectivist studies, AIDS charity spreadsheet table thumping, Canada, abstract noise music chip soldering, video game playing, anime thumping, locked inside school lockers and tearful masturbation. The typical member has completed a high school education at the public school of some bumfuck nowhere town full of bland white people in a flyover state. The average income for a DRP member is $22,500 a year, not counting those who have yet to establish an independent household, of which there are few, since the average age for members stands now at 34 and is increasing daily.

DRP reform proposals currently languish at a 7% approval rating and are not expected to survive the ongoing referendum, however their man holds the Banhammer at the moment and is responsible for 90% of all current drama.

[edit] Prancing Faggots

Prancing faggots are faggots who, every time they post, choose to post somewhere that will allow them to prance for multiple posts, showing what a motherfucking prancing faggot it is possible to be on the Internet.

Feyd (The model prancing faggot)
Alektorophobic
Slagathor

[edit] Chat Cabal

Imagine Chat Cabal. Imagine a hand, patting a back, FOREVER.

A theoretical "treehouse" group who sit around on rizon ruining sensitive people's lives.

[edit] Canadorks

Group of Canadian males ages 22-50 who play the shit out of FPSes and love talking dorky sass in the POE-News forums. They like elves and Pratchett.

[edit] Confused Old Men

Men on a fixed income using a computer in a public library to post their inane ramblings.

IceCycle
HeliumRat
ygurts
liquidsnakeyes
elle (possibly not a man)

[edit] Marijuana Fat Estrogen Experiments

These are (former) males whose experimentation with marijuana and massive obesity has put their gender into question. This also increases their chance of breast cancer. MFEE males are advised to perform breast self-exams regularly and check with their physicians about mammograms.

PUKESNARLULTRA28000 (PSU28k)
BigBeefBurritosSupreme (BBBS)
stationary_tornado (stator)

[edit] Dorks

Guys who post 2,000 words about how crushed they are that their best friend's little sister lost her virginity to some older guy.

Had his heart broken by a girl.

[edit] A4

Visiondust, an A4 member and momfucker

Stands for Autistics, Aspies, ADD and Anxiety, a group of confused young men who have trouble figuring how stuff works sometimes but can mysteriously manage to log in and post endless shit online. Includes everything from a watercooler-tossing suicidal single father, a starry-eyed gay orphan, an opinionated gay Aspergers prostitute, a fantasy-writing Wal-Mart cashier, a guy who was once pinned on the ground for an hour with a water hose by a group of his friends and a PTSD wreck with apocalypse fantasies. Holders of 95% of all Frunz on the boards, generators of somewhat frequent, amazingly high quality lulz.