greets to the final bosses of internet: cromlech, aush0k, dshocker, atomiku, Romford trev, piddle, rolo, baz.

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Paheal is the most complete, useful and effective site at raping your childhood. It is the best rule 34 site in existence... when it works. Please watch out for dismembered labia, they are often found on tables. If you make 34 of something Paheal WILL find it.

“	500 - Eternal Server Error	„
—rule34.paheal.net

Contents 1 Why does it exist? 2 Userbase 2.1 Synonymous Red X 2.2 Psycho2332 3 What is on the site? 3.1 Lolicon and Shotacon 3.2 Furry 3.3 Guro 3.4 Shops 4 Commonly Used Memes From the Rest of the Internets 4.1 Over 9000 4.2 Candlejack 4.3 sauce 4.4 babyfuck 4.5 Bart get out I'm piss! 5 Paheal's 'Memes' 5.1 GanonWatch 5.2 Rule84 5.3 Head Swapping 5.4 AdminWars 6 Paheal Forced Memes 6.1 DEL 6.2 It's Ditto 6.3 In b4 Desumilk 6.4 Whole Thread Copypasta 6.5 Self-Inserting Comments 6.6 Ifucked[enter well known namefag here] & [enter well known namefag here]isanigger 6.7 In The Den? 7 paheal's favorites 7.1 Labia on a table 7.2 Catsketch 7.3 Netsonas 7.4 Featured Image 8 Trolls 8.1 Mrl274 8.2 Thranos 8.3 Otaku-san 9 People you should know about 9.1 Wiiaboo 9.2 Shish 9.3 Titanium 9.4 Warrior 10 See also 11 Hall of Shame 12 External links

[edit] Why does it exist?

Paheal was spawned on April 24 2007 and exists for the same reason Macrochan does. The people that have the goods got sick and tired of giving out the really easy shit, and all their epic finds were no where to be seen. Now, if some silly sausage asks for porn of X, you can tell them to LURK THE FUCK MOAR and go to Paheal. Now, 34 fans can get their daily chicken choke fix without hearing bitching from 7chan, whining: '34 has already been fulfilled', 'gb2/h/', or denial of moar/ sauce. Needless to say though, don't be a douche you fucking cunt rag and lurn 2 internet.

tl;dr We are lazy and tired of whining. aka BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[edit] Userbase

The user base generally consists of massive spider experts, rejected trolls and lurking spics. Most of an image's comments consist of random memes being tossed around like a 12-year old Taiwanese prostitute in a back alley, faggots begging for sauce, unregistered users bitching about how their moms raped them up the ass with rake, and 14-year old TARTS either plugging their shitty web page or begging for more Sonic and Naruto bullshit. Some users claim that they are women and are instantly and furiously hit on by just about every other member of the site (as per internet regulations). This is bullshit because as we all know there are no girls on the internet except dickgirls thus proving that at least 80% of Paheal users are gay. Enjoy your AIDS.

“	Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose—a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.	„
—Anonymous trying to sound 'smart'

[edit] Synonymous Red X

[-] [+] 0

Quotes

“	Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm actually in the middle of a drama war, and I wasn't the one that started it.	„
—Synonymous Red X

“	He's like a broken toilet, just keeps spewing shit everywhere.	„
—Luci, former internet girlfriend

“	With SR-X the BAWW flows like wine	„
—Rule34d

[edit] Psycho2332

Psycho2332 is, well... a psycho in every sense of the word. He lurks Paheal commenting on every guro image he can find on the site, stalks Soemele, and tries too hard to be edgy. Aside from guro, his hobbies include asphyxiation, necrophilia, calling people who don't like his fetishes "butthurt," and generally being annoying. On rare occasions, he will comment on a non-guro pic, usually about how the subject would be hotter if they were dead. He's also been known to ask for Spyro the Dragon guro in the past.

His DevianTART account is here - Note the juxtaposition of the typical 13-year-old boy obsession with sex and violence, with an emphatic use of Hello Kitty smilies and chain letters involving pretty roses. Perhaps this is another Ed Gein in the making, and we should be more scared than we are. (Naturally, he has denied this being his account. In the unlikely case he's telling the truth, drastic measures should be taken to prevent the two from ever meeting.

During the great April Fools joke of 2008 Psycho2332 was the only one to complain that the mods made Naruto redirect to Shitty_Anime and Naruto_Uzumaki redirect to Whiney_Bitch. He even went as far as to put a _ in between N and aruto making it so that no one could look up their precious Naruto pr0ns because newcomers had no idea that Psycho had changed the tags to N_aruto and N_aruto_Uzimaki.

[edit] What is on the site?

34 for teh lulz

Probably the second best reason to visit. Memes are very popular, plus lots of ridiculous shit that is awesome.

34 for raping your childhood

Just when you thought Salute Your Shorts was too obscure for some fidgety artist to use in his latest necroscat masterpiece.

34 for fapping

There is a good bit of this, but that's not very funny. Also if you go to paheal with the intention to fap you probably don't belong on the internet and will probably end up with this.

not34

Tag rushing things as not34 as well as notporn are a common and awesome pastime sure to prove you either don't know what the fuck you're talking about or are so godamned awesome you didn't even have to read the FAQ.
(are you a bad enough dude to tag over 9000 images as 'not34' before getting B&?)

tagme

Images with just the default keyword of tagme either mean the up-loader is a lazy sack of shit, or doesn't know what the hell is going on.
You can fix this shit by tagging the series/ characters or just tagging that shit as deleteme. No one's going to notice a piss stain on a yellow carpet.

[edit] Lolicon and Shotacon

Surprisingly, you won't find many flame wars about this here. Though, it's easy to troll. All you have to do is say that it is illegal, or wrong, or for epic trolling, that you will go to hell for fapping to it.

“	"you looked at a picture of a naked 12 year old?!" "um, shes not 12. i just drew her like 20 minutes ago lol" "OMG PORN OF 20 MINUTE OLD CHILDREN. PRISON FOR LIFE!"	„
—Malorie

[edit] Furry

Being a site that allows furry, but is mostly filled with people who hate furries; It's not to hard to start a flame war on the subject. Really, it just takes posting something. Since furries ruin everything, large amounts of hate will spring up immediately. But seriously though, there is some furry shit on this site that will make you cry. Also: what is and isn't furry is serious business. Just so the n00bs know, if it is covered in fur, it's a furry. If it isn't covered in fur it isn't furry. Same with scaleys. On the boarder line are things that are their own race. Minotaurs, kobolds, Khajiit, and moogles. This is also a great thing to troll about unless you are a faggot.
People on this site who fap to Gardevoir like to argue that this does not make them furry so please give them a good swift kick in the cunt.

[edit] Guro

Most guro on the site is littered with shit storms about how horrid guro is. The guro can get pretty epic though when Soemele, Paheal's own resident gurofag drops by has occasionally been known to make some pretty epic guro. Most of his works are of strong female animu characters or of minorities that he gets a raging hard on for, but they are still epic. Still, he will always be there to guro up bitches who fuck with Paheal or more realistically, him. His most epic guro to date is the one he did about StrangerWithCandy,who bitched about how her crappy sketch of a mudkip was placed on the site. In response, Soemele tied her up, force fed her a mudkip, ripped her stomach out, and then pierced both her and her mudkip with a wooden stake through her vagina.

[edit] Shops

Many people like to wack it to celebrities but soon find that most of the ones they want to fap to are underage. To fix this world wide epidemic the scientists of the internet diligently worked day and night in search of a solution. Sadly right before they were about to make a major breakthrough they stumbled on Rule 34 and upon reading it instantly came up with a quick fix to all of our problems. Their solution;
1. Dig up your favorite porn pic from your hard drive
2. Shop the face of the celeb you want to fap to into the picture
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!!
The only problem with this brilliant scheme is the fact that over 9000% of the shops were painfully obvious and looked like shit. These shops are put on paheal daily and often bitched about by Anonymous. Soon George Bush learned about the American method to evading the van so he changed the rules so that you could not longer put the head of anyone underaged onto people who are having sex, regardless of the bodies age. So if you want to fap to Stephanie your out of luck. THIS JUST IN: EMMA WATSON IS NOW LEGAL IN THE U.S POST SOME FUCKING SHOPS!
(Also putting images already on Paheal onto a template is fine too)

[edit] Commonly Used Memes From the Rest of the Internets

[edit] Over 9000

IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!! Need I say moar?

[edit] Candlejack

Candlejack is a me

[edit] sauce

While legit at times, it's really really dumb when someone does this when not only when the link is on the image, but the entirety of the artist's work is on the damn site.

[edit] babyfuck

IT'SSS AWW-RIGHTTT!!!

[edit] Bart get out I'm piss!

Old and tired as shit. Often typed on about 70% of the sites commented images.
If you use this I will beat you to death with a lead pipe.

[edit] Paheal's 'Memes'

Most Paheal memes are just one picture posted over and over with minor altercations each time.

[edit] GanonWatch

Starting with sum pr0n of Ganondorf watching Young Link and Young Zelda sexing it up through a window, a user decided it would be funny to shop the peeping tom into 'Gendodorf'. This sparked a chain of MS Paint add-ons to the image, turning Ganon into a meme monster. After the original picture could be edited no longer user Foppe (A.K.A Faggot) decided to simply replace Ganondorf with Gardevoir thus starting a shitty spin-off meme. Soon a user named Rule34d simply removed the Ganon and placed himself, in netsona form, as well as Old Snake instead, both sporting "o3o" faces, thus giving all other members with netsona another reason to post more pictures that they could tag with their username.

Gremrat quickly claimed to have created the meme, when all she did was suggest a version. The meme quickly spiraled out of control and turned fail, as other users started spamming their own versions, effectively killing its lulz. Titanium quickly rushed in and declared this meme to be dead, stating that any additional GanonWatch pics would be terminated. Titanium and the other mods occasionally let new GanonWatch pictures slide.

GannonWatch Gallery

The original Proceed The failed edit The Goofy Time edit

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

The LazyTown edit After the 5th edit the picture resulted in Gutsman's Ass Some faggots rendition of GanonWatch Netsona quickly joined in I spy a failed forced meme The same Gardevoir fag makes another major edit Rule84 on GanonWatch ...

[edit] Rule84

Rule 84 states; There is nothing Weegee cannot infect

The original piture	A minor lulzy edit	Weegee multiplies like cancer	Rule 84
Rule 84 on Rule 84

[edit] Head Swapping

To come hold your goddamn horses

[edit] AdminWars

When two site admins have great differences in opinion, they may clash in the IRC, or in comments. The most recent adminwar is between Warrior and Titanium, regarding if Zero Suit Samus, with only having Tits or nipples showing under the Zero Suit qualifies as porn. Warrior is biased, due to his massive Samus fetish. Upload sum Samus, that could easily be seen as porn or not porn, and watch the lulz commence.

[edit] Paheal Forced Memes

[edit] DEL

originally used by users in comments for deletion, too lazy/retarded to tag deleteme, but is now mostly done for spam and annoyance, and has lost its purpose and original meaning. Del is also a nigra ghost from the shitty band the Gorillaz.

DEL?

[edit] It's Ditto

It's Ditto is just like the Ditto meme with an additional twist when ever a unidentified pink object is found in a picture someone posts "It's Ditto" from that point onward anyone who opposes the fact that it's ditto is answered by "It's Ditto"

Anonymous1: It's Ditto

Anonymous2: That's not Ditto it's a prolapsed anus.

Anonymous3: It's Ditto

[edit] In b4 Desumilk

In b4 Desumilk is a meme that is used for trolling a paheal namefag called Desumilk, Desumilk is painfully easily to troll, and much lulz are produced in the process. All you have to do is say is start out with posting on a Pokemon that Desumilk has not posted on then after her reaction proceed with "In b4/after Desumilk...." and the conversation should progress as follows;

MetroidAddict: in b4 Desumilk

Desumilk: Fuck you.

Anonymous1: in after Desumilk

Desumilk: STOP PICKING ON ME.

Rule34d: In after Desumilk uses capslock.

Desumilk: YOU ALL ARE NIGGERS.

Anonymous2: In after Desumilk says nigger

Nietzche: I b4 DesuMilk responds to anon2

Desumilk: ARGH! LET ME TOUCH MY VAGINA IN PEACE.

Nietzche: Fuckin' pwnt

• Desumilk's other hobbies include asking for bans
• Desumilk also enjoys insulting DocIcenogle because he fucked her mom or something
• Desumilk also has an obsession with the WWE and one of the wrestlers named Kane upon it. Perhaps she likes men with big shoulders and small penises.

[edit] Whole Thread Copypasta

This is when a user copypastas every word in the comments area for that one image and submits it as their own comment. This is usually done on images whose threads are already OVER 9000 posts in length. This act pisses everyone off, excluding trolls. The mods end up deleting the post, and the poster ends up B&. This makes preforming a whole thread copypasta the equivalent of an Iraqi suicide bombing

[edit] Self-Inserting Comments

Self-Inserting comments are made when a Paheal user comments a picture saying what he wants to do to the people or person in it. Former user BigDawg was among the first to explicitly describe what he'd to to the people in the images, as if they where real, would read the comments, jump out of his monitor, and let him suck their dick. The majority of users who do this are immigrants from Aerisdies

[edit] Ifucked[enter well known namefag here] & [enter well known namefag here]isanigger

Last thursday people began signing up as "Ifucked" and then a well known user's name. It all started with IfuckedCatBountry, Google that shit Mah Boi. Then a Doc Icegonogle hate made the user name DocIcenogleisanigger.

[edit] In The Den?

In the den is a meme exclusively to the underage b& members of the Paheal IRC everyone else thinks it is annoying as fuck. While originally used to answer a question or post you didn't understand it is not being used just for the sake of posting.

In the den?

In the den? Gay ass sequel

In the den? Don't even watch this one, it's the most gay ass piece of shit I've ever seen

[edit] paheal's favorites

[edit] Labia on a table

Oooo, where is that labia?! On the table, just where I left it.

I dunno, someone just left it there.

[edit] Catsketch

Catsketch is a series of lulzy sketches made by CatBountry. CatBounty's Catsketchs have been featured more than any other persons works on Paheal.

IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL, IS IT STEVE

That's Mama Weegee to you!

Tonight we yiff in hell!

[edit] Netsonas

Only the most awesome and 1337 members have a netsona; which is a fuckton like a fursona except they somehow manage to be twice as gay most of the time.
The best way to gain a cult like following of pre-teen zombie retards is to draw as much porn of your netsona as possible, like some sort of masturbatory-go-round. Pair yourself up with whoever the fuck you want and no matter how shitty the artwork is you will get Over 9000 comments before you can hit F5. I GUARANTEE IT.
Trolling said people will usually result in an instaban instalulz

pl0x's Netsona	pl0x IRL	SR-X's Netsona	SR-X IRL
Gremrat's Netsona	The 'Real' Gremrat	Gremrat IRL

(It's also important to note that users will often circle jerk each other with their netsonas, resulting in so many comments that the page length may very well dwarf the Xbox in rare cases. FACT: 99.9% of these are tl; dr and will make you an hero if you try reading all of the useless dribble.)

“	Saying anything negative or that doesn't appeal to or about Synonymous Red X will result in massive butthurt and lulz as he flails about calling everything within a 20 meter radius a faggot. He'll most likely complain about how much his life sucks and how everyone picks on him until Luci_the_Lucky comes by and tucks him back into his hugbox	„
—Jeb, being the only one with sanity

[edit] Featured Image

Some images on the site provide epic lulz to a level that deserves recognition. Others might ruin childhoods so mightily that they need exposure, or an image is of a 34 so rare, that it defies logic. Every so often, in indeterminate intervals, the featured image is changed. Titanium usually is the one who updates the feature.

There are over 9000 images that members have spammed, demanding a feature of the pic. Said images usually have a high sexy rating, or are of Renamon being pumped full of pig shit. These images are almost never chosen, just to piss off the users.

This image will never be featured

[edit] Trolls

• The easiest way to troll Paheal is to go to past features and comment on every single one. This is bound to piss off at least one faggot as they each have a fuck load of comments

[edit] Mrl274

Mrl274 is probably the most retarded troll on Paheal. He came in and instantly made netsona's for members of Paheal who had none and also making a shit load of 34s of Rat. By making new netsona's Mrl quickly helped feed Paheal's cancer causing it to grow uncontrollably. Mrl274 would also leave comments that were so retarded that all people who read them had a drop in their I.Q. He has been b& over 9000 times each time coming back with a clone account, of course each clone just like in the movie Multiplicity is more retarded than the one before it.

Quotes

“	muhahaha i am contaqius... or whatever u spell it like... well i am like a virus thingy i infect other people	„
—Mrl724

“	imagen a retarded anvil with a cock up his head XD	„
—Mrl274

“	my my someonegot chipmunks in there vaggo dont u guys?	„
—Mrl274

“	never i never give up... but seriously i dunno what a wang is, a plane of some sort is my guess for now	„
—Mrl274

[edit] Thranos

Perhaps one of the more annoying N00bs on paheal. He got b& for starting a tag war with Jeb over his shitty netsona, which happened to be a picture of Alucard with a crown. Soon after this b& Rule34d jumped in and make him his very own original netsona. Two weeks later when the b& was lifted Thranos dragged his noob ass back onto the site. Thranos has been banned over 9000 times since then putting him in the ranks with Mrl274 and if he is around when Mrl274 isn't then he is always the center of epic phail. On top of being a troll Thranos is also an attention whore and was the one who created his sub-section in the first place and continually is editing it to make him self seem like more of a badass by deleting things like "when the b& was lifted" and replacing the word "dragged" with "snuck".

[edit] Otaku-san

This troll came onto 34 trying to point out how certain things were not considered 34, like mermaids, and when I say he tried to point out I mean he bitched hours on end. Otaku-san after losing the battle to the namefags, mods, and anons Otaku-san started posting pictures of Greek Mythology shouting "IF >>78130 IS PORN THEN SO IS THIS!". Sadly for Otaku-san Paheal gladly accepted the pictures as 34 thus destroying the foundation of his argument. Otaku-san left Paheal for some time but came back to upload a pic after someone on 7chan's /34/ made fun of him. His picture was of a screen shot of the thread with a penis a above it and text below it saying "Poster # is a retard". The picture was deleted and Otaku-san was banned.

[edit] People you should know about

[edit] Wiiaboo

The leprechaun that created and runs paheal. Loves potatoes, hates the british. He will be leaving paheal to tend to the farm. If a site feature needs to be upgraded, and for whatever reason Shish is incapable of doing it, it will take Wiiaboo over 9000 years to get around to it.

• Rokoo

The co-creator of paheal, his existence is disputed and most believe he is a figment of Wiiaboo's imagination to keep him warm on those long dark nights.

“	The kilt is yours if you let me take a dump on your chest.	„
—Wiiaboo, when asked for his kilt

[edit] Shish

This guy designed this site and is usually the one who keeps it running, yet can't even access the forum.

[edit] Titanium

Admin who apparently lives in Japan. Also goes by the nickname "Hardest Sleep Known to Man".

“	THAT EAGLE IS A WHORE!	„
—Titanium

[edit] Warrior

Admin whose feats on Paheal are considered by the following rule; "If it's already submitted, warrior probably did it before you." He's responsible for Naruto being aliased to shitty_anime for April Fools, 2008. Rumor has it, that whenever a legitamate image of Naruto vanishes, Warrior deleted it.

[edit] See also

• Rule 34, there is porn of it, no exceptions.
• Rule 63, there is gender bending porn of every character.
• Rule34.com, another similar site.
• ObscureGET, likewise.
• Hentai
• Anime
• Aerisdies

Paheal's History

• StrangerWithCandy
• The Great Thread Scare of Friday 13th

[edit] Hall of Shame

...	Some sort of deity.	Note the creativity of users Dagger and Rat's netsonas.	They will never give you up or let you down.
Naturally not even their mascot is saved from furfag, rule 34/63-ification.	Before	After	Even fags who should never be allowed to lift a pencil are encouraged to 35; much to the chagrin of its users.
Yes, that is L being raped by a giant fucking ant. Paheal: home of weird shit.	Single Nigger and Non-Nigger, not quite DOUBLE_NIGGER	You're gunna feel this one...	How about now?

[edit] External links

• rule34.paheal.net
• rule35.paheal.net, imageboard
• Paheal IRC
• warsworld.paheal.net, dis imageboard dead, yo.