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Parents

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Let's play 'Mendelian Inheritance'!
Let's play 'Mendelian Inheritance'!

MOST parents are fucking awesome. Just ask any orphan how much they'd like a couple. Parents give away a huge chunk of their life, health and disposable income for their children's sake, but most realize, and far too late, that it isn't going to make them happy and that you just can't hand a toddler back when you're the parent.

So please be understanding when your Mom drinks those special silver shaker drinks and gets all weepy before lunch. Try to bond more with Dad, he'd be happy to show you the porn collection he keeps in the shed that he never leaves on weekends. Oh, and teenagers: you can stop all that fucking whining and get your hair cut. No one cares about your stupidass problems or social awkwardness. If your parents aren't beating you on a regular basis, you're doing better than you probably deserve.

Typical parents

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