Mrfetch

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

WARNING: Paul Fetch is a troll with a really bad lisp! It's like, rly rly obvious guis...

mrfetch (aka Paul Carnes), was first known as the newest addition in a long line of those hoping to challenge Anonymous and a great target for the Youtube Account Freezer. On January 25, 2008, Mr Fetch uploaded a blog entitled "ANONYMOUS Stand Down!!!" and became a theoretical billionaire due to his views.

His trolling basis goes that he is a homosexual that believes the internet is his personal army.

After much drama, Rickyricardo & Cyanterrorist uncover solid evidence that Paul is a troll. Many people consider this as a win, but Mr. Fetch has never denied anything and actually went into the direction he described in the phone call. Not many has realized that... you know, he was trolling in the phone call, too? Upon being "exposed", Fetch /r/'d the dox of Cyanterrorist.

Last Thursday, Fetch decided to host a Skypecast where Anon could ask him any questions about his "rule" of Anon. After a super-hueg twenty minute monolouge, Fetch was presented with a question completely off-guard, and left the channel before people started to realize he's just fucking around.

PRO-TIP: be sure to check this article's talk page, it's pretty freakin' hilarious.

[edit] Origination

Paul Fetch declares War on Anon.

The first few videos he made had absolutely nothing to do with Anonymous, 4chan, or anything like that. He had kept his whole "stop censorship" stance though, when Paul Fetch became butthurt after his Myspace account was deleted. Paul ran HaterAlert.com, which was shut down around the time he made "ANONYMOUS Stand Down!!". One particular video was made about him and some guy harrassing people around Wal-mart. Another of him going apeshit, with the opening line being "Sometimes, people just need to laugh!". Mr. Fetch has succeeded drastically at being a troll since then in doing so by posting redundant videos lacking any real information what-so-ever.

Yes, Mr. Fetch is, indeed, a brilliant troll who disguises himself as an inbred, disgusting hick with an IQ equivalent to that of a retarded sloth on marijuana. When the moralfags leave Anonymous, Mr. Fetch will end his videos.

[edit] ANONYMOUS Stand Down!!

It's OK, Mr. Fetch cries too.

This is Carnes' first video, and unfortunately no mirror of it seems to exist. A sypnopsis of the video is easily summarized. The whole video is of him telling Anonymous to calm the fuck down, being a response to the FOX 11 report. He wore a wife-beater.

[edit] ANONYMOUS This is War

After only two days, his dox were shamelessly found. This video does not seem to be any different from his previous one, except he is now wearing a shirt. Paul emphazises that the situation his is in is "getting wild".

That is the closest thing to a mirror available. This is NOT the original video, and not the full one either. Edits are seen being obvious (nazi footage, twin towers, zooming, etc...

Through the end of the video, he makes it clear he is going to make his first attack. The attack itself was nothing, just a cliffhanger to make people keep watching his videos.

[edit] Anon Attacks?

While trying to upload his latest video, Carnes claims he ran into some minor issues which wouldn't allow him to upload the video at the time. In reality, he probably did, but it gave him the idea to complain about it in the video description, thus feeding the troll and raging the newfags. This 'problem' lead him to make a new account, named rightfully so, Paulfetch.

[edit] Operation Inside Anonymous

After two videos promising to strike Anonymous and to get them where it hurts, Paul decided encouraging others to create sockpuppet YouTube profiles and try to spy on Anonymous, obviously ignoring the paradox it creates would be the best move to make next.

The first known spy of Mrfetch's army whose one skill was to intimidate the hell out of the internet.

Paul reiterated how dangerous Anonymous was, he reassured that the situation was, indeed, serious business. He goes on to explain how awful Anon treated Gay Diamond and what horrible things they did to her and eventually drove her off YouTube. So his strike was really just, according to him, the signal to let others know to strike. He promised his real strike would happen on Wednesday.

[edit] Internet World War

why so serious?

In the last video, Paul promised that he would present videos showing the cases for and against his cause. He compared the War on Anonymous to other great world conflicts, and talked about a puppet master who tried to control the people's actions. He preach about the importance of not doing what the puppet master said to do. Fetch closed the video promising a controversial video upon his return. He wouldn't say when the next video would be posted, as hackers continue to attack him and prevent him from posting (even though he posted this video without a problem). But he promised that this video would REALLY be his strike against Anonymous, and would give them something to think about. Really. For real this time. Honest...

[edit] PLOT TO TAKE OVER THE INTERNET

Cyanterrorist and rickyricardo123's tag team rape of fetch, followed by sloppy seconds from corgijacked.

Being the awesome internet celebrity he is, Paul Fetch felt betrayed due to the fact that it turned out that not even CyanTerrorist likes him. He started off by warning teh internets that you don't fuck with the Fetchinator, since he afterall was offered the role of Legolas in Lord of the Rings, Jack Dawsin in Titanic, Clark Kent in Smallville and had Steven Spielberg licking his shaved balls. Fortunately, his real movie role was released on YouTube on 3/21. He then backfires the entire reason he showed up on teh internet and said he was helping Anonymous He then told everyone on "his YouTube" that everyone needed to get Robert Paulson's his personal info to bring him to justice.

I'm pretty sure this is illegal... 'LOL BALEETED

[edit] Where's Yo Brain At?

Paul states that Anonymous hates black people niggers, gay people fags, and Christians Christfags. He obviously forgot Jews hook-noses. This video was suppose to be the controversial video that we've all been waiting for by destroying his phone, dishes, and other miscellaneous shit he has in his kitchen.

[edit] U.S. to Censor the Internet

Carnes decided to jump on the YouTube bandwagon and comment on net neutrality. Nothing much to say about it.

[edit] Paul Fetch Doesn't Have SEX!!!

That's right, you heard it here first.

In this video, Fetch first off disputes any rumors that he is being a troll a la Andy Kaufman, even though if you'll notice he doesn't actually say he isn't being a troll, just that he isn't Andy Kaufman. He then tells a story about how his life got flip turned upside-down, and he pissed blood for a couple of days, and got tested for AIDS, and even though his test results came back negative, he decided to not have sex, because he didn't want to spread any "diseases" that he may have had.

[edit] ANONYMOUS I'm sorry!!!!

Paul Fetch misleads the viewer into thinking he gave up, but turns it around by being like "lol guys j/k" and contrasting Anonymous as being worse than the KKK.

[edit] Paul Fetch on AN0NYM0US

In this vid Paul says Anonymous was founded by people who love V for Vendetta. He also claims newfag made up the internet hate machine.

[edit] Operation: Take Over Anonymous

ItsMargie [GayDiamond] had been suspended from YouTube by making a new account, so Fetch decided to comment on it. He threatened to go to LA and beat up the YouTube staff if they didn't unban Margie. Fetch decides to express that he is planning to remove all the skanks and haters from Anonymous.

[edit] Leader Of Anonymous

Leader: A guiding or directing head, as of an army, political group, ect

synonyms: ruler, director

antonyms: Paul Fetch

Paul Fetch stated in this video that he is the leader of Anonymous and encourages his "supporters" to get a Guy Fawkes mask, as the mask garners instant respect, recognition, Youtube view counts, street cred,, etc. He finishes off with the perfect disclaimer, saying that Anon isn't always going to agree with him, thereby removing Anon's actions from any association with himself. Also, he says that Anonymous is no longer "Legion," but rather "Legend," also proclaiming that Legion is now past tense.

[edit] More Subscribers than Smosh (Stop Hate)

He doesn't care about subscribers

Fetch has now reached an all time low, hard to imagine for this supertroll. He now begs for subscribers and for people to stop unsubscribing, as he's lost over 2000 subscribers already. He starts off by saying that he never cared about people subscribing to him, and that he's doing all the work for kicking out the haters from the internet, and that everyone needs to leave it to him to make the world a better place. Next, our little Fetchy raves about how he went to a baseball game with one of his butt buddies and that they somehow found a ball and had it signed by actual baseball players. Then he offers it as a prize for everyone that will stay subscribed to him. Right when he gets done blabbing about that, as if on cue, he renders the ball completely worthless by defacing it with his own signature. As if this wasn't enough, he licks the ball (probably to remind him of his homosexual fantasies). To finish it off it screams about how he must have more subscribers than Smosh.

Our little Fetchy is getting more desperate by the day (this is emphasized by how he is deleting fucking everything on his channel), and now YouTube reports he finally has zero subscribers (seems like YouTube knows what is best for this troll). However, this is due to a YouTube glitch, so once they restore the actual count, it should be as low as possible, so unsubscribe if you haven't already. The last recorded stable number of real subscribers is 21.

[edit] Your Turn - Zero Subs (YouTube Game)

This is almost as bad as his last video. Fetch now decides to start out saying that he's happy that the "haters" have bugged his YouTube subscriber amount. He then explains the entire method in detail of bugging an account on YouTube's subscriber amount. Then, as if he really wants to get banned from YouTube, he tells everyone who watch his videos to use this glitch on all of their accounts. Then he starts crying about how he's sorry that he "neglected" his subscribers, and that he didn't care for them because there are a lot of good channels on YouTube and they should receive some subscribers too (somehow Fetch didn't realize you could subscribe to more than one channel). Then he starts up again with his propagandistic sermons about how all of the haters are cut out of his subscribers and that everyone who is not a hater should subscribe. He then brings back out the baseball he talked about in his last video, and rants about how it's so extraordinarily valuable, and how he will become a rich man and buy it back from the person who receives it for a large sum of money. And as to finish in his last video, Fetch says he needs more subscribers than Smosh and everyone needs to play the "game." Basically, Fetch is getting more and more butthurt as time goes on, and his videos are becoming less and less understandable.

[edit] Skypecast; Epic Fail for Paul

As Fetch had mentioned before, he decided to host a session on Skype so that Anon could ask him questions, however, Fetch basically ranted about some extremo-faggotry that's as diverse as contradicting himself about Mark Bunker, saying that he both likes him and doesn't like him, that his 'supporters' got Wise Beard Man banned from the tubes because Fetch said he didn't like him, that Scifags got him banned, and then saying that Viacom got Jewtube to ban him because he used a clip from the Colbert Report. He needs to make up his goddamn mind. He also claimed that he is putting together a legal team for Anonymous to match the Scifag's, and that on Halloween, Anonymous needs to go door to door in Guy Fawkes masks harassing old people handing candy out to kids about Scientology. At this point, somebody played a soundbit yelling at Fetch to shut the fuck up, and after three minutes of Fetch agreeing that he should be quiet, he finally shuts his mouth, and lets some people talk. Fetch nearly cries when the people who were hosting it with him who he thought were his friends turned out to be trolls and told him what they really thought of him. After some serious RAGE, Fetch is asked what makes him qualified to be Anonymous's leader. Fetch first pretends not to hear the question, and then when it is repeated, he leaves the Skype session. One can only hope that this means the demise of this troll. The owner of www.stoppaulfetch.com was win enough to save the whole thing and upload it both to his website, as well as youtube. Because it's very long, it had to be broken up into 8 parts, so links will be posted to the Youtube videos to conserve space. Check out the website, it's got some videos, and a very decent chat room.

Here are the 8 videos of the Skypecast, in order:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

[edit] Fetch Calls Gamestop

Last thursday Mr. Fetch decided to call a GameStop to check if they had anything to protect him from Anonymous.

What was he thinking, Battletoads? He failed horribly.

[edit] NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS (Support Paul Fetch)

Last Thursday (no, srsly) a 13-year-old boy from Massachusetts named BodyXPolitic saw MrFetch's video and decided to dedicate his life to exterminate the "haters".

At first glance, he seems like a regular protestfag, but you can't judge a book by it's cover.

Talking to him on Skype (same as his YouTube, BodyXPolitic) ensues extreme butthurt and "SHUT UP SHUT UP" from him.
UPDATE: The son of a bitch has finally got a Stickam [1]. lulz baleeted
UPDATE 2: Disregard that, I suck cocks. [2]

What he usually does on Stickam is tell people to shut up. Oh, and he fucking jerks off. Lol baleeted too for playing too much with his dick!

What youtube has to offer of this zealot of his great leader

[edit] Anonymous - The Next Step

After a week from disappearing from JewTube, Fetch comes back with a video that is even more batshit insane than his other videos. He starts out by talking about what his version of "anonymous" is, in the pathetic hopes that new people watch his videos. Then he cuts to a short sequence where he praises the overlords of JewTube about how much he loves them, whereas in his previous videos he threatened to go to their HQ and kick their ass IRL. After that, he tells everyone who's subscribed to him to mass subscribe to each other (somehow Fetch seems a little too obsessed with subscribers). Then he cuts to another short and says how he wants to say one more thing, and that it will only take a minute (however at this point there's almost 10 full minutes left). The important thing he wanted to say was blah blah SCIENTOLOGY PROTEST IT!!!11one

Once done that, he goes into the highlight of this video: his master plan to undermine and destroy the oil industry. He starts off by telling everyone how much of a pussy he is and how scared he is to say it. However, after all of that, his plan is, even for him, surprisingly fucked up. He tells people to make their own engine for their cars, specifically, a hydrogen engine. Frankly, it seemed as if he was going to say something along the lines of "ANON GO AND ATTACK ANY SANDNIGGERS YOU SEE!" but this is not the case. Clearly, Fetch's dumbfuck syndrome is progressing, and his is a very terminal case.

Fetch's videos are getting more and more off topic, and his ideas are getting dumber and dumber (still hard to imagine for him). His videos now contain very little lulz, because it is so hard to understand why he is still making them.

[edit] Message to Scientology

If anyone ever had any doubt that Fetch was a fucktard, this video erases all of that. In this video, Fetch wants to let us know that "whenever something happens that's different, I need to let you guys know that something different has happened". He then shows off his computer that he felt was like a "best friend". After his TL;DR memories with his computer, he then claims that somebody crashed his computer. He also says "he doesn't know about y'all but he was very close to his computer". Rather then go check his computer for viruses (which is what any person with a trace of sanity would do), he talks about how Scientology tried to stop the Anonymous protest the same weekend his computer crashed. Then taking his faggotry to a new level, he destroys his computer, once again proving he swings like a girl. He didn't even the use the sharp end of his axe to destroy it. After more TL;DR ranting, he then lights his computer on fire, creating a small ring of fire which he didn't expect. In conclusion, he talks about how if you mess with Anonymous, you mess with him and anyone who has a problem with it will have serious consequences.

There you have it, Scientology is on Fetch's shit list and still no one gives a shit

[edit] Responses

[edit] Quotes

[edit] Quotes From Anonymous

[edit] Trivia

• About 100 years ago, a group of anon decided to post the blueprints to Tom Cruises house on futabachannel.org. This resulted in one of mr.fetch's spies reporting it to him and the website being shut down by party van. See futabachannel for moar info.
• Paul is a racist and homophobic in real life, as well documented on his various skype rants.

[edit] Gallery

asking for it? Anonymous Delivers	Paul Carnes bonding with his Father.	Nice vest. Note the semen in his mouth and the Freddie Mercury appearance.
		"Two fingers please." —Fetch to cowboy lover, indicating how many fingers to insert into his anus	Raging Against The Machine
	Paul is a leader!		why he's called mr fetch. photo from his jewtube videos
Because they all start small	Hay guis, He's fighting back!	stand down Anonyoumiss	HAY GUISE
Best case scenario, he's still retarded.	A spy disguised as anon, be afraid!	Mr. fetch gets it
	He's Taking You Serious.	Paul Fetch: Asking For It	Paul Fetch: He's Takin' Anon serious

[edit] See also

• Attention whore
• AnoEx
• chriscrocker fanboi
• Douchebag
• Epic Fail Guy
• gay
• GayDiamond
• Hypocrite
• Feltcho
• Tom Serson
• Ruining The Internet

[edit] External Links

• mrfetch
• PaulFetch
• FetchResponds
• Mr Fetch's Youtube Sockpuppet Account where he pretends to be a 13/16 year old GIRL! (FAG)
• Stickam Profile
• mrfetch myspace
• mrfetch "other" myspace
• southeast equality alabama myspace (previously run by Mr Fetch)
• mrfetch photobucket currently locked
• Equality Alabama; Mr Fetch's old semi volunteer job
• unconfirmed: Paul's mom Jo Ann?
• Mr. Fetch's private headquarters

Mrfetch is part of a series on Scientology

LOL TECH Scientology | Dianetics | Paranoid Personality Disorder | Disconnection | Child Abuse | HISTORY of the UNIVERSE (according to Scientology) | Sec Check | Freewinds SCILONS L. Ron Hubbard | David Miscarriage | Tom Cruise | Religious Freedom Watch | Suri Cruise | Terryeo | Heaven's Gate | The Regime | NeoPets | Non-protest_fags | Mrfetch | Anti Wilford Brimley | Jacob K. Reist | Barbara Schwarz | Evil Jacket Guy | John Travolta | Annette Refstrup | Joe Feshbach | Footbullet Man | VaLLarrr | Jan Maturbongs| Anonymous Hate Group | Toni Chambranis‎ | Rogues Gallery ENTURBULATORS PROJECT CHANOLOGY (portal page) | Project Chanology: Planning (in general) | Project Chanology: IRL Protest Planning | Project Chanology: Media Coverage | The Geterator | A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan | /i/ | Glossary | Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX SPs Anonymous | alt.religion.scientology | Wise Beard Man | Jason Beghe | Gas Mask Girl | Magoo | 711chan | 315chan | You | Enturbulation | New Zealand Fail Guy | You Found the Card | Message from Scientology | Shawn Lonsdale | Cult of the Dead Cow | ReligionIsFree.org | Rorschach | New York Nurse | Moralfags | Psychiatrists | Marcab Confederacy | Raidfag Wench | THUNDERDOME | James Packer

Mrfetch is part of a series on "Leaders" of Anonymous	RULES RULES OF THE CHANOLOGY INDIVIDUALS Splongcat | Darr | Paul "Fetch" Carnes | Eric Bauman | Magoo | Rorschach | WBM | Mudkips | Bucket GROUPS Moralfags | Mundanes | Marcab Confederacy | Jews | Illuminati | Nazis | Psychiatrists | Communists | Russian Mafia | Gun Runners | US Government | FBI | NSA | CIA | ARS