Pedobear

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The official mascot for pedophilia on the Internet and national hero of Canada.

Pedobear or also Pædobear (not to be confused with Medved (translated version) is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes. He actually originated from Japan, where he was called Kuma, literally "Bear". Some argue the Japanese omitted the "Pedo-" prefix to avoid redundancy since most anything churned out in Japan is assumed to promote pedophilia. Pedobear is now so popular he has his own website - *Official Pedobear Website

While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear became the mascot for 4chan's legion of knuckle-dragging pedophiles, specifically targeting prepubescent girls, or "loli." Like King Leonidas and each subsequent wave of Lolcats, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually pasted into whatever piece of child pornography b-tards get their infected hands on.

Pedobear has become so popular newfag and 12 year olds alike flock to /b/ under the impression that that they can find more "funny" Pedobear pictures. This is similar to the populairty brought on by the previously mentioned lolcats. Sadly some poorly informed Anonymous refer to him as Pedrobear believing that to be his real name.

Pedobear's Life -- The Poetry Version

Little girls

One of Pedobear's theme songs. [1]

Tune of Fresh Prince Theme Song

Fresh Prince of Pedobear

Asking for it!

Tune Unknown

Pedobear
He's got brown hair
He likes the girls with nothin' down there
And he's gonna love you right

Pedobear
You'll find him at the playground
He'll find the girl with no parents around
And no police in sight

He'll say "Hey how you doin', girl?
Don't be afraid
I'll taek you back to my van for some lemonade.
And baby swallow these pills and we'll make this a party
But I'll kill you if you're thinkin' of tellin somebody."

Pedobear
He'll take you to the mall
He'll buy you all the Hannah Montana stuff that you want
But then you'll owe him back

Pedobear
He's just a brown bear
He's got nothin' else on his mind.
So cut him some slack.

Danny Bear

Oh Pedobear
The van, the van is searching
From home to home
And through the countryside
The police know, and all of us are running
It's you, it's you, must go and I must hide~

But come ye back when girl's are in the window
Or when the Van's lost funding and is gone
'Tis I'll be here
In 4chan or in prison
Oh Pedobear, oh Pedobear, I love girl's so~

And if you come, when all the girls are yours again
And I am "cured," as "cured" I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am living
And knock and say "CP is here" for me~

And I shall hear, tho soft you whisper to me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to show me what you've brought me
I'll simply wait in peace until you come to me~

I'll simply wait, in peace, until the girls
Are broooouuuugggghhhhtttt
Toooooo
MEEEEEE

ATTACKS ON PEDOBEAR

Guy dressed as pedobear doing it wrong. Pedo bear likes girls ONLY.

Pedobear on the job

B& from Gaia

A recent update from the retarded developers of Gaia made it so you can no longer say or post Pedobear pics. This is because the developers are cowards and don't want to be raided by Anonymous (though of course making such a declaration increases the likelihood that Anonymous will raid). So to be sure they're protected, they're going to put up curtains, add an advanced security system, put up phoneline trackers and BUYING FUCKING DOGS!

However, it is now known that Pedobear had infiltrated Gaia Online's servers some time ago. He can be seen by the sharp eyed to whistle innocently as he buys the little ones from vending machines and hits the forums with the intention of obtaining n00ds. See Gaia Online for more info. Pedobear is known to be secretely raeping Hannah Montana.

B& from Photobucket

"Pedobear is a violation of terms. We do not allow images of pedobear and we are actively removing all images containing pedobear.

Sincerely,

Your Photobucket Support Team

Online Help Center: http://photobucket.com/tips.php FAQ's: http://photobucket.com/faq Support Forums: http://forums.photobucket.com Support Email: support@photobucket.com"

• [2]

BANNED FROM DEVIANTART

Chris Hansen approves

It's pretty rare to see this.

Proper advertisment.

TheShadowmistress, who is described by her friends as a RAGING LESBIAN, thought it would a good idea to directly attack the internet hate machine by claiming that anyone who gazed upon Pedobear was supporting child porn, rape, and Child Molesting. Y Ironically, shortly after this deviant-art site was found by anonymous, an entire month of posts went missing, minus her post saying that those who rallied to defend our beloved fictional furry child molester were uncivil and she was going to ignore us. /b/ and anonymous has been seen preparing to defend Pedobear against these accusations.

The Battle Begins

Shadowmistress posted a comment stated that Pedobear supported child pornography and should have his image banned from Deviant-Art. Thus, memebers were enraged, and there was a massive battle of wits ultimatly ending in her hiding all comments she disliked, displeasing Anonymous.

On 15 November 2007, shadowy figures struck a mighty blow, though not even their heroic sallies of "UR TEH GHEY" or "Your a pedo" were able to stop her faggotry. No, she would not be content until she reported every single post of Pedo-bear.

The following day, 4chan struck again with slightly less force, but still enough to confuse deviantartlets wandering around the burnt-out wreckage of her Deviant gallery:

'Tis truly a dark dark day for Pedobear; we have won the battle. Prepare for war. Recently there has been a rumor that Pedo-bear might actually be removed from Deviant-art. ONOES! Some Argue that this is a good thing. Most people disagree. However, there may be lulz if she is able to get Pedobear removed, since she is leaving The Internet permanently because her husband is returning from somewhere she is not clear about. Sources say that Anonymous has decided Not to raid DA, as if they are banning Memes It might result in less newfags. In reality it's because Anon is lazy. If Pedo-bear isn't allowed on DA, newfags will just post their art on the /b/ and /v/ instead.

Possible Ancestry

Research shows Pedobear may be related to stealthy dinosaurs, linking to his ability to get teh delicious loli with craftiness kay?

Old media recognition

With the new animu striking TV's, we can at last see him starring in! It took a bit too long, but we made it!

Pedobear as animu

The joy of teh...

Pedobear approves!

Crass Commercialism

The Plush Doll

Pedobear has the distinction of being one of the first Internet memes to ascend to the level of a plush doll available for online purchase. SRSLY. Purchases presumably boost ad-revenue for ED. The truth of what's to come, however, is pretty obvious.

The dolls will be purchased mostly by pedophiles to lure little kids into their van.

For those keeping score:

WINNERS

• ED - Ad revenue from sales
• PedoBearPlush.com - direct revenue from sale of dolls
• Pedophiles - will help molest moar children
• Chris Hansen - increased child sex crimes is good for business
• You - Resultant fallout will provide steady stream of Lulz which you'll hear about from ED.

That's right. Another way to accrue pr0fit has been discovered and its based on little kids being molested.

LOSERS

• Little kids - Gonna Be Raped
• Your soul - deriving entertainment tertiarily from child sex abuse is no way to win points with the boss, unless you pray to Satan. In which case Kudos!

Coming Soon!

The Nintendo DS Video Game

Coming soon!

A few of his favorite things…

Things that make Pedobear fap happy
Pedobear's favorite songs Soothing sounds for loli-lovin'	Pedobear's favorite videos This bear can boogie!

Songs

What Pedobear dreams of every night

In Episode 34, Pedobear is unwittingly captured by a local prostatot — just as his parole officer drops by for a visit! Hijinks ensue.

Pedobear's slasher alter-ego; FredoBear.

• Oingo Boingo- "Little Girls"-

• Steely Dan - "Everyone's Gone to the Movies" - "Kids if you want some fun, See what you never have seen, Take off your cheaters and sit right down, Start the projection machine"
• The Doors - "Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)" - "Well show me the way, to the next little girl... Oh don't ask why"
• Bruce Springsteen - "I'm On Fire" - "Hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go away and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire, oh oh oh I'm on fire"
• Benny Mardones-"Into the Night" - She's just 16 years old, Leave her alone they said......If I could fly I'd pick you up, and take you into the night"
• Steppenwolf - "Magic Carpet Ride" - "Well, you don't know what we can find, Why don't you come with me little girl, On a magic carpet ride."
• Grateful Dead - "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" - "Good morning little schoolgirl, Can I come home with you? Tell your mama and your papa, I'm a little schoolboy too."
• Depeche Mode - "A Question of Time" - "I've got to get to you first, before they do, it's just a question of time, before they lay their hands on you, and make you just like the rest, I've got to get to you first, it's just a question of time... well now you're only fifteen, and you look good, I'll take you under my wing, somebody should"
• Eminem - "Guilty Conscience (Acappella)" - "Yo, look at her bush. Does it got hair? (uhuh) Fuck this bitch right on that spot there.'Till she passes out she forgot how she got their.(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?) No, but I seen the porno thats on nubiest!(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)Fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail."
• Simon and Garfunkel - "Baby Driver" - "Theres no one home, were all alone, Oh come to my room and play, Yes we can play! I'm not talking about your pigtails, But I'm talking bout your sex appeal..." Yeah, really.
• U2 - "Babyface" - "Babyface, Babyface
  Slow down child, let me untie your lace...
  Bitter-sweet girl, won't you give me a taste..."

• Marilyn Manson - "Wrapped in Plastic" - "Daddy tells the daughter While mommy's sleeping at night To wash away sin you must take off your skin The righteous father wears the yellowest grin"
• Oingo Boingo - "Nothing to Fear" - "Hey little girl won't you come this way, Wont you let me buy you candy, or perhaps a chocolate shake, Or perhaps some nice cocaine, or perhaps a little kiss, Or perhaps a ride in my big car, Perhaps a ride in my big car, Wont you make an old man happy, Won't you make an old man happy, Wont you let me show you paradise(dont ask your mother for advice)"
• Faith No More - "Edge of the World" - " Come sit right down, Lay your head on my shoulder, It's not the point, That I'm forty years older"
• The Knack - "My Sharona" - "Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind."
• Scala Girls Choir - "I Touch Myself"
• Ozzy Osbourne - "Mr. Tinkertrain" - "Would you like some sweeties little girl? Come a little closer... I'm gonna show you a brand new world tonight! I've got a palace full of fantasy, ready made just for you and me. Once you're there I'm gonna take you for a ride..."
• Hey, well I'm the friendly stranger

In the black sedan Oh won't you hop inside my car? I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable man I'd like to take you to the nearest star I'm your vehicle baby I'll take you anywhere you wanna go I'm your vehicle woman By now I'm sure you know That I love ya (love you) Need ya (need you) I want to, got to have you child Great God in heaven, you know I love you -- Vehicle, The Ides of March

• Alan Price - Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear (a.k.a. when Pedobear turns into a faggot)
• Cher - Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - I picked up a boy just south of mobile, Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal, I was thirteen, he was thirty-one
• Shawn Colvin-Suicide Alley- Sitting naked by the window in the middle of the night, I can see you wearing your halo, If only in the daybreak of the dirty streetlight, I know baby wasn't born to follow.
• Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing
• Tool - Maynard's Dick "Would you like to climb on, Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's dick"
• Tool - Third Eye "Came out to watch you play. Why are you running away? ... On my back and tumbling, Down that hole and back again ... in.. out.. in.. out.."
• Tool - Prison Sex "(little girl:)I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me...I've got my hands bound, my head down, my eyes closed, and my throat wide open. (Pedobear:)My lamb and martyr, you look so precious. Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you. I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long. Released in this sodomy. For one sweet moment I am whole...Got your hands bound, your head down, your eyes closed. You look so precious now. I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit blood and cum on my hands."
• Guns 'n' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
• Winger - Seventeen
• Michael Jackson's Thriller - I mean, we all know what thrills him. Amirite?
• Deadsy - Itsy Bitsy Titsy Girl

"Oh, itsy bitsy titsy girl, where are you? Oh, itsy bitsy titsy said our love was true. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, so young and so unused.

Now, itsy bitsy titsy plays a mean hop-scotch. As she does her little ditty, I can stare at her crotch. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, little queen of double dutch..."

• Marylin Manson - Smells Like Children - particularly 'Everlasting Cocksucker' (cake and sodomy) and 'Abuse Part 2'.
• The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me
• [Mother of Invention-Motherly Love]-Send us up some little groupies

And we'll take their hands And rock 'em till they sweat and cry.

---

Pedobear: The Movie

Gallery

Oh lawd, is dat sum CP?

bath time Capcom's been hard at work.

Girls love Pedobear Who else but Pedobear??? Do you see what I see? Pedobear and friends Can do! brb, jail The hunt is on. Narrowly avoiding a sting operation. You have seven days Pedobear the Game - pre-order now at your local Game Stop! Pedobear's MSN avatar. Pedobear loves Communist children. Upskirt So many lolis, so little time. Warning Signs to be wary of Zombie lolis make Pedobear SAD. Fucking jackpot The gang's all here. What Michael Jackson was REALLY doing. No Paul Franke they are mine! Bitches don't know bout Pedobear"s loli! Pedobear getting pwned by Chris Hansen. Clean your mouth before someone sees it! all done on paint, took fucking hours but the result shows what you can achieve with hard work. goth children love pedobear, too! PB can supposedly see (nekkid) loli's from space with naked eye.]] PedoChair Sorry, no swirlface!!1 Phroggy is jealous of pedobear. Okay, THIS BEAR can talk Pedobear is subliminal. Sometimes he gets impatient By fatferaligatr Hit that before puberty does! Who is worse? Discuss. loli?? Occasionally falls for the trap. Fair trade. Just like Samus! I didn't know she was 3. Always by the book. bros before hoes PB SSJ Lvl2! "I find your lack of loli disturbing." Pedobear cosplay lol wut Pedobear IRL Run, Loli, run! Pedo Bears later years She's too old for you, Pedobear Even Windows users are not safe. Next? I Loev hur Pedobear stalking his next loli. Poor loli. Not even Pedobear would hit that Approved! Pedobear dynamix entris x2 lol Pedobear can frequently be found hiding in the shadows at childrens' portrait studios. ...when in doubt Oh you... No loli ? Pedobear is sneaky as fuck. TWO! TWO MOLESTING PEDOBEARS! AH AH AH! *thunderclap* Kids like Pokémanz, right? Pedobear in his natural habitat: Chasing jailbait. One of Pedobear's ancestors sporting some vintage loli Pedobear doesn't mind weeaboo lolis either, and will cosplay if need be. Pedobear plays Tibia where he finds little children. Oh sweet, a pedobear. He appears very subtly in various places. He will traverse the universe to get lolis. Gloomy PedoBear real pedobear Pedobear toys! THESE AREN'T LOLI, THEY'RE TOO OLD! SAVE ME! LOLI FTW! Pedobear stalking a Little Sister Pedobear orgies are common. Another day, another victim IT'S A TRAP! On Wikipedia, any cryptic Pedobear reference gets you an instant block. In India, "Child Bear" is a deity unto which you must sacrifice your lolis. He's coming for you. The children have a new friend to play with Never trust a certain "Dr P Bear" with your kids MOAR PIKACHU PLZ OM NOM NOM NOM Goodnight sweet prince. NEVAR FORGET! Loliwut? Hey, I know this kid o.0 Chris Hansen signed this portrait of Pedobear The signed portrait, in a shitty black frame (surfaced 07.17.2008) Branching out Pedobear's has a much more successful cousin Dragonfist and daughter. Pedobear only rides CP Railways when he travels The only destination for Pedobear The truth behind pedobear He isn't looking for honey... PedoBoo from Super Mario Bros. 3 Pedobear hates seeing things like this, ugh. Pedobear once played Gaia Always prepared. kthxbye. brb, loli! PB doesn't discriminate Even elevators aren't safe Watch out kids! He herd correctly Pedobear executes a tactical child grab. Pedobear loves naked children running around. Even Herman Li supports Pedobear. Pedobear IRL. Mormon pedobear Hmm... Pedobear cultist chases after his prey. I hate you, Milkman Pedobear. Hesitation: Pedobear has none. Pedobear's African loving cousin? Pedobear mourns for the death of a kindred soul.

See also

P-p-pedobear? Is that you?

• Pedopals
• Mark Foley
• John Mark Karr
• irish282
• Madeleine McCann
• Shotacat
• Young Tubers United
• Interpol Hunt SwirL-Face
• Gaia Online
• Peter Sotos
• Too old; DO NOT WANT!
• Andrew Erickson
• Uncle Anon
• Pope
• domo-kun pedobears enemy

External Links

• Now, no forum (or child) is safe.
• Proceeds go towards ED and Lulz
• Large pedobear collection from the realtime mirror, regular update
• FINALLY! A PEDOBEAR CLUB!
• Al-Qaeda hiding behind Pedobear for British terror attacks!
• IRL Pedobear tries to molest girlscout
• Pedobear explained
• Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Loli Loli
• Pedo Bear's SheezyArt page
• Pedo-pedo-pedo-pedo!
• Pedobear makes his presence on GodTube.
• If he knows what's good for him, he'll stay out of Maine.

Pedobear is part of a series on Child Abuse	Main Players Pedobear • Shotacat • Captain Crunch • Children • Chris Hansen • FBI • Internet Watch Foundation • Perverted-Justice • Lolita • Partyvan • Pedophile
	Types of CP Ameriloli • Amerishota • Baby fuck • Jailbait • Lolicon • Shotacon • Toddlercon • Yugioh Card Maker
	V& Pedophiles Alan The Panda • Andrew Erickson • Dwight Whorley • Dylan Thomas • Gary Glitter • John Mark Karr • Josef Fritzl • KK • MyIDIsPhat • Nathan Keefer • Nathaniel Nurnberg • ohbutyouwillpet • Raygold • Richard Bullis • Swirl Face
	UnV& Pedophiles Andy Maher • Bikerfox • Christopher • Dynacatlovesme • Edarem • Erik Möller • Irish282 • LittleCloud • Logansperman2 • M. Chaos • Magicrich • Michael Jackson • Nathanr • Riverman72 • Sam Rassenfoss • Scientology • TheAmazingAtheist • Trap-kun • Tyciol • Updownmostly • Woody Allen • W. T. Snacks • Young Tubers United • Ytask • Zaiger
	Related Topics 7chan • 12chan • Aqua Dots • Childlove • Chuck E. Cheese's • Christian Boy Love Forum • Crystal Shinkle • Lesbian pedophilia • Mr. Bucket • NAMBLA • Not4chan • Preteen pageant • Teresa Cooper • The Forbidden Realms • WWOEC