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Pedobear

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NOOOO

brb, jail

The pope says:

"We are two of a kind."

This Bear can boogie!

The seal of approval.

Pedobear as animu

Pedobear (not to be confused with Medved) is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes, where he was originally called Kuma, literally "Bear". All Japanese and by extension things they create are assumed to be giant pedophiles so the prefix "Pedo-" would be considered redundant in Japan. While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear is the mascot for 4chan's legion of slavering pedophiles, specifically targeting prepubescent girls (or "loli"). Like King Leonidas and Happy Negro, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually being pasted into whatever piece of child pornography the b-tards have got their filthy hands on. For unknown reasons Pedobear’s origins have also been linked to the internet spawned deity Cthulhu. There's also a team of similar animals - Scat Rat, Pedo Yeti, Shotacat, Watersports Pig etc - but nobody gives a shit about them. Supposedly, Pedobear has been put into jail, but recent reports have proven otherwise.

[edit] Doc Bear

In an attempt to escape the party van and Chris Hansen, pedobear flees to Michigan in and sets up his own medical practice so he can lure in lolis to "play doctor".

~~Pedo~~ Doc Bear will halp your child stay "healthy".

[edit] Anatomy

~~Pedobear is missing a foot because he chewed his way out of a law enforcement bear trap in order to desperately hobble after underage pu55y.~~ You can clearly see the claws on his back foot, its called "perspective" you fucking retard.

[edit] Pedobear and Chris Hansen

According to the NBC news program Dateline and host Chris Hansen, law enforcement officials estimate that as many as 50,000 sexual predators are online at any given moment, including Pedobear. Chris Hansen has been targeting Pedobear and his love of loli specifically for some time now, with absolutely no success. At one point, Hansen and Perverted Justice, the online anti-pedophile organization, had the bear surrounded in a house in New Jersey, but as soon as Pedobear saw his arch-nemesis come around the corner and say “Have a seat, I want to ask you a few questions...” the bear bolted up the stairs of the house and jumped out of a closed 4th story window to avoid capture. A subsequent police dragnet of the area also failed to locate him.

Hansen summed up his disappointment at the near miss recently on his blog: “It was during that story that you met a very disturbed bear who had had a sexually charged online conversation with a decoy posing as a 15-year-old girl. The bear later exposed himself and masturbated on a Web cam while he stated “TITS or GTFO” to the decoy. He has since been on the run from various charges, including using the Internet to transmit obscene material to a person under 16, attempting to entice a minor to engage in an illegal sexual activity and traveling with the intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct with underaged persons. When he is caught, and I do mean when, Pedobear faces many years in prison and must register as a sex offender for life. Chris Hansen was raped by Pedobear when he was a child.”

While Pedobear has been a high profile figure among online predators and still makes numerous appearances on 4chan, he has yet to be caught. Some b/tards insist that, like the legendary Bigfoot, he simply cannot be caught, and appears and strikes at will and without remorse, and strictly for the lulz.

Pedobear gets lucky

All friends of Pedobear:

[edit] Current status

Recently, Pedobear was caught watching Mature Porn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbIncLgOPLg

[edit] Old media recognition

With the new animu striking TV's, we can at last see Him starring in!

The joy of teh...

It took a bit too long, but we made it!

Pedobear approves!

[edit] B& from Gaia

A recent update from the retarded developers of Gaia made it so you can no longer say or post Pedobear pics. This is because the developers are cowards and don't want to be raided by Anonymous, though of course making such a declaration increases the likelihood that Anonymous will raid). So to be sure they're protected, they're going to put up curtains, add an advanced security system, put up phoneline trackers and BUY FUCKING DOGS!

However, it is now known that Pedobear had infiltrated Gaia Online's servers some time ago. He can be seen by the sharp eyed to whistle innocently as he buys the little ones from vending machines. See Gaia Online for more info.

[edit] ATTACKS ON PEDOBEAR

Recently the giant cunt theshadowmistress along with her ally Thermalraven decided it would be a good idea to attack Pedobear. Soon after, Anonymous raided her, and her posts for the last month vanished... The invasion is currently underway and needs your support, as many have been lost in the defense of Pedobear. Last Thursday, rumors flew up that Pedobear is to be Banned from DA. Anonymous will be retaliating on 11/20/07.

[edit] Relationship with Sam Neill

Sam Neill and Pedobear have formed a close relationship over the years due to Sam's approval as the new God, as seen during his escape from Jurassic Park. During his flight, he grabbed Lex's ass and made out with Tim, a move that earned Sam the Platinum Award from Pedobear, and solidified their friendship further.

[edit] Copypasta

'scuse me, but which way to the loli?

kthxbye. brb, loli!

Pedobear [at right], in happier times

What Pedobear dreams of every night

In Episode 52, Pedobear is unwittingly captured by a local prostatot — just as his parole officer drops by for a visit! Hijinks ensue.

Okay, to start off I am a pedophile. Not an ephebophile (although I'm attracted to girls that age as well), a full blown underdeveloped, pre- or barely pubescent girl loving pedophile. I've always been attracted to girls that age, and for some reason I just never stopped. But I never had the courage to act on it, or even tell another person in my personal life. I was too afraid of what they would think and what would happen to me if they knew. But all of this changed when I met Jeff. BTW, people, here's Jeff's former address in case you feel the need to contact me. Not that anyone lives there, of course. Certainly not me.

I'd known who Jeff was because we went to the same schools our whole lives, but it wasn't until I was around him in college that I found out he was a pedophile as well. Whereas I am skinny and reasonably attractive and my desire stems from a whole host of other mental defects contained within my skull, Jeff was fat, acne ridden, and generally a disgusting person altogether; in other words, if he was going to get laid, it would have to be on less than ideal terms, and being an anime/manga freak, he saw nothing wrong with his sexual tastes.

I found all of this out after making a comment in class that was borderline pedophilic, and he was the only one to find it funny. I talked to him later, approached the subject tentatively in case he just had a warped sense of humor and not a warped libido, but it turned out he was the genuine article.

We started hanging out a lot after that, and occasionally we'd make joking comments about how we were going to pick up some little girl some day and fuck the shit out of her. Eventually, the comments turned into hypothetical plans, and finally we found ourselves seriously considering doing it. going to the mall or elementary schools on dry runs to scope out a potential victim and see what would be the easiest way to get her alone. In the end, we settled on a ten year old girl who besides being fairly cute, walked to and from school alone on Mondays and Wednesdays when her mother couldn't pick her up. The way the city is set up, it's like six or seven distinct areas on high hills and then no development at all in the low areas because of flooding. Jeff and I figured we could pick her up when she went to one of the low areas and drive into the forest to have our way with her until we were through, then we'd threaten to kill her if she told anyone because we knew where she lived, yadda yadda yadda.

The night before, we tried to decide whether it would be better to do it in the morning or afternoon. Jeff wanted to do it in the morning because he said there would be less traffic to see her, but I wanted the afternoon because the school would notice she was late faster than anyone would at home since no one was there. We played rock, paper, scissors, and afternoon it was. But there was one last thing.

"Hey," Jeff said. "How many times do you want to have sex with her before we let her go?"

"Nine," I said, "one less than her age lol"

"lol"

And that was that. It turned out really good doing it in the afternoon because that day, we both had blow off classes we could sign in to and then slip out from the dumbass CC professors to have an alibi in case anything went wrong.

So we drove out to where we knew she'd be coming and drove back and forth periodically so no one would see us just sitting there. Finally, we saw her walking down the road and we drove past her, then turned around and came up behind her at a bend in the road. I was driving and saw that no one else was in a line of sight to spot us, so I told Jeff it was go time. I slowed down, he opened the back door, grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her inside the car, then I accelerated, and headed toward the off-road camp site.

It wasn't too far from the main road, but there were enough trees that no one could see us, and when I stopped the car, it was like being in the middle of total wilderness. Jeff still had hold of her arms and a hand over her mouth, but her legs were kicking like hell into the space between the front seats and I set about putting an end to that.

I forced her legs open and got between them and for the first time got a really up close and personal look at her. Her face was caked in make-up like a chinese doll and she was wearing a skirt so short, taking a picture of her would have been considered child pornography.

"Fucking slut," I hissed.

"You're about to lol," Jeff laughed.

"lol"

I started feeling up her legs, but as much as I wanted to pace myself, I went straight for her pussy and couldn't think of anything else but getting her panties off so I could. I stuck my hand up underneath them and felt around for a few seconds, confused.

"Dude," I said, "What the fucking hell is going on here, all I'm feeling is like... an eight, no nine inch cock."

I didn't realize it then, but I was starting to. Before I could express it in words, Jeff said, "Yeah, well she still seems pretty flat. Let me see how those mosquito bites feel." And with that, he took his hand off of her mouth and she screamed: "Get yo ass on the flo' bitch!"

It was then that I realized she wasn't a ten year old girl at all; she was a young, African American man disguised as a human.

Jeff was shocked but I don't think he even saw the gun come up and shoot him in the face. His jaw splattered against the side window and he just started screaming, making the most awful sound in the world because he only had half a mouth to do it.

I was pretty much scared shitless and I let go of its legs and started trying to crawl out on of the doors, but it shanked and subsequently kicked me and I flew through the front windshield in a crash of glass and broken bones. I skidded off the top of the hood and from my spot on the ground, I watched the nigger maul Jeff and what was left of Jeff for the next five minutes, but I couldn't think of anything but trying to get to the road for help. I couldn't have pulled the fucking nigger off of him if I'd tried, but even if I'd managed to wave down an ambulance and two police cars, I don't know if it would have done any good. Unless of course all the cops had been white, and the paramedics late. They later explained to me that it was like the nigger was an interior decorator, and the theme of the inside of my car had been "Jeff". They recovered his shattered jaw but they never found the rest of his head.

I dragged my bruised, broken, and bloody body toward the main road as fast as I could, eventually collapsing at the edge of it. I turned over and looked back into the forest to see if the nigger was coming after me, but even after it got out of the car, it was still busy with Jeff for the next few minutes; rifling through his wallet.

After that, the nigger took my wallet, threatened to cut me if I talked to anyone about what had happened. Then I wandered off into the woods, and I passed out in a pool of my own blood; walletless. Also, cocks.

MOAR COPYPASTA

THE FRIDGE PART DEUCE

MARK WAS A PROUD CUCUMBER, FULL OF PROSPERITY AND VALOR. HE HAD LIVED HIS LIFE MARRIED WITH MANY HAPPY BROCCOLI CHILDREN GALLOPING AROUND. ONE DAY, HE REALIZED HIS WIFE, CHERRY, WAS MARRIED TO A PRECOCIOUS SNORLAX WITH A JIGGLYPUFF NAME, SO HE SET OFF ON FOOT ON A QUEST FOR ULTIMATE SATISFACTION. HIS FIRST VICTIM WAS AN AMERICAN TALIBAN WITH PUBIC HAIR-HEAD. I BELIEVE HIS NAME WAS RAGHED. AS I POUNCED ON HIM AND THRUSTED MY VITAMIN B DEEP INTO HIS APPLE ASSHOLE, HE SCREAMED VIOLENTLY. NOT WANTING TO COME TOO QUICK, I PULLED OUT AND AIMED MY HARD VEGETABLE COCK DEEP IN KELLEY'S MOUTH. I BEGAN TO HUMP VIOLENTLY, SPRAYING PRE-NUTRIENTS ALL OVER HER EAGER CHIN. AS SHE SCREAMED NO, I RIPPED OFF HER PANTS AND GAWKED AT HER VIRGIN CAULIFLOWER. I WAS PREPARED TO TAKE WHAT WAS MINE, AND DEFLOWER THIS VEGA-FLOWER. AS I RIPPED HER OPEN, I VIOLENTLY SPRAYED MY SEEDS EVERYWHERE; LEAVING HER WITH A DELICIOUS GARDEN, RIPE FOR THE PICKING.

Oh lawd, is dat sum CP?

Pedobear getting pwned by Chris Hansen.

Clean your mouth before someone sees it!

Sorry, no swirlface!!1

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

	Phroggy is jealous of pedobear.		Okay, THIS BEAR can talk
Pedobear is subliminal.	Sometimes he gets impatient	By fatferaligatr	Hit that before puberty does!
Pedobear can't take his eyes off her		loli??







		bros before hoes
	Pedobear the Game - pre-order now at your local Game Stop!

		"I find your lack of loli disturbing."	Pedobear cosplay

lol wut		Wherez the loli?	Pedobear IRL
Run, Loli, run!	Pedo Bears later years	She's too old for you, Pedobear	Even Windows users are not safe.
Next?	I Loev hur	Pedobear stalking his next loli. Poor loli.	Pedobear loves Communist children.
Upskirt			Not even Pedobear would hit that
Approved!
		Pedobear dynamix entris x2 lol	Pedobear can frequently be found hiding in the shadows at childrens' portrait studios.
...when in doubt	bath time	Oh you...	No loli ?
Pedobear is sneaky as fuck.		Hunting for young in record shops everywhere!	TWO! TWO MOLESTING PEDOBEARS! AH AH AH! thunderclap
Kids like Pokémanz, right?	Pedobear in his natural habitat: Chasing jailbait.		One of Pedobear's ancestors sporting some vintage loli
	Pedobear doesn't mind weeaboo lolis either, and will cosplay if need be.	Pedobear plays Tibia where he finds little children.	Oh sweet, a pedobear.
He appears very subtly in various places.		He will traverse the universe to get lolis.	Gloomy PedoBear
real pedobear	Pedobear toys!	THESE AREN'T LOLI, THEY'RE TOO OLD! SAVE ME!	LOLI FTW!
	Pedobear stalking a Little Sister	Pedobear orgies are common.	Another day, another victim

IT'S A TRAP!	On Wikipedia, any cryptic Pedobear reference gets you an instant block.		In India, "Child Bear" is a deity unto which you must sacrifice your lolis.