Penn and Teller
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Penn and Teller are two faggots appearing nightly in Las Vegas in a very crappy hotel. The duo consists of two men, Penn Jillette (the physically larger one) and Teller (the sexually larger one). In case you were wondering, Teller has NFN, which stands for 'No First Name' and 'No Fucking Nigger' Syndrome. You can see that they can make you feel good, baby. They exist to reveal the secrets of magic to the public, but then perform magic of their own like running a truck over Teller's chest, or dissecting Teller, or doing that shitty cups and balls trick which just goes to prove that they're just as fucktarded as all those magicians.
They've been working together for nearly 30 years. As of 2007 Penn is currently 52 years old while Teller is 59 years old. Despite them being that old, Penn still is fit as a fiddle while Teller is very athletic. It's all the swimming crap he does and workouts. Teller is famous for never talking on stage. Probably because he'd have given Penn a blowjob before the act and is still trying to keep it all in his mouth. They also probably bonk each other senseless backstage when the show's over.
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[edit] Bullshit!
Penn & Teller are featured on an aptly-named show called "Bullshit!", wherein they try to debunk various conspiracy theories and religious dogmas. This is usually accomplished by showing a quote mined video clip of an insane person rambling on about some thing or another; they then stop the clip and Penn (the fat one) rants on about how stupid and dumb and ignorant they are while Teller (the skinny one) makes funny faces in the background. The show is supposed to be "edgy" and "controversial" because they make fun of the Bible and PETA, much in the same way that Carlos Mencia is supposed to be "edgy" and "controversial". In fact, replace Mencia's catchphrase "BEANER!" with "BULLSHIT!" and you have essentially the same unfunny show.
Penn and Teller like to mock people who believe crazy things in spite of scientific evidence to the contrary, so naturally they don't believe in global warming because only 99% of scientists think it's real but famed corporate lickspittle the Cato Institute says it isn't. And, gee, they wouldn't have any interest in denying that, would they?
Bullshit!'s basic tenants:
- Play it safe by covering topics that skeptic organizations have previously debunked; this also has the side-benefit of letting you pose as a knowledgeable skeptic without having to do any of the work.
- Corporate shills are completely unbiased sources of information.
- Science is awesome and infallible unless it indicates that we might want to restrain private industry in some way, in which case science is bullshit.
- Anything the government does is bad; anything corporations do is good.
- Distract viewers from holes in your arguments by cutting people off, calling them "assholes", and flashing breasts.
- BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES
- If that becomes too obvious, find the kookiest guests to represent the opposition and use creative editing (quote mining, using music and tone of voice to play with the viewer's emotions, intercutting opponents arguments with hyperbolic imagery to make the opponent seem even more crazier, etc.). Remember, as long as your answer is correct, it doesn't matter how you arrived at the conclusion.
The fact that viewers of this show haven't caught on to the fact that Penn and Teller are pseudo-skeptics and the arguments they use don't hold up to scrutiny shows that their entire fanbase consists of people posing as intellectuals. I mean, why bother learning critical thinking skills and statistical analysis to examine or find faults in claims when you can just watch a 30 minute entertainment show that pretends to do it for you? Oh, because it drowns out real skeptics that use solid arguments because they're outnumbered by you. Good going, asshole.
[edit] Pics lol
 What happens when Penn wouldn't give him a blowjob. |
 They attempt to expose fucktardary of this classic trick. Notice that Teller's hand is in a suggestive pose |
 Holy shit. |
[edit] Other appearences
'Penn and Teller get Killed' - A craptastic movie made at least 100 years ago which results in them two going to hell.
'Penn and Teller: Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends' - A video which shows you how to embarrass the fuck out of your gay friends and rip their money off them.
'Penn and Teller: Magic and Mystery Tour' - Teller is shown speaking in this show. Other than that it's another bunch of faggotry.[edit] Family life
Penn is married to a jailbait and has two children, Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette and Zolten Penn Jillette. What kind of a fucktard names his daughter Crimefighter? He's worse than Michael Jackson. Teller, on the other hand, is single. He has dozens of 16-year old girls swooning over him and several others but Les Vegas workers state that he doesn't swing towards women that much.
It should be known that Penn is a Randroid and a lolbertarian, both of which explain a lot.
[edit] Fandom
The typical Penn and Teller fan:
- is a middle-aged woman.
- is afraid of men but likes Teller because he's "different".
- is thinking of moving to Las Vegas but it's just a total coincidence that Penn and Teller are there and it's not a ploy to get closer to their heroes and steal their souls.
- is a Libertarian and an atheist and won't shut up about it, ever.
- is an amateur magician.
- likes to say "fuck" because Penn says fuck and anything that Penn says is awesome.
- hangs around the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas in hopes that one day Penn will notice them and invite them to join the P&T entourage.
- married Penn and Teller's piano player in a transparent attempt to schmooze with P&T and con them into jump-starting her shitty comedy career.
[edit] Penn's Myspace
Penn started a Myspace page so that he could communicate with his fans. Don't bother friending him, though; he only responds to fans who happen to be blond 16-year old girls with breasts. Penn thinks female fans all listen to his radio show and know everything about him - including that he's in an open marriage so they shouldn't keep from hitting on him on account of his wife. But female fans don't know this, because they don't listen to his radio show or really know anything about him at all. Their interest in him is really just a way to close to Teller, who's the one they really want to bone.
Penn thinks all women are either Madonnas or whores, so he likes to have sex with his fans while he reserves his wife as a mom substitute.
