Pennsylvania
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pennsyltucky is best described as Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with 46,000 square miles of Kentucky in between, with maybe a couple signs of civilization here and there. Individual towns and boroughs are distinguished only by whether their citizens prefer fucking sheep or chicken. Some rare communities eschew bestiality in favor of incest. The family fucking antics of the town of Home, Pennsylvania were highlighted in the renowned documentary series, The X-Files.
Contents |
[edit] Lake Erie
The largest AIDS pool in the world frequently causes over 9000 feet of snow to fall on the entire east coast when some idiot in Canada decides to sneeze.
[edit] Alcohol
Pennsylvania is noteworthy for its fucktarded archaic liquor laws, as the state has a monopoly on wine and hard liquor sales. If you find yourself in Pennsylvania, in which case you will require booze to put up with being surrounded by cow-tipping Klansmen [1], you have to go to a state store to buy either of those things (or a winery or one of their rare outlets for wine). However, you will not be able to get beer. If you want beer, you have to go to a beer distributor. But you will only be able to buy 24-packs. If you want to buy a six-pack, you have to find an open bar, which will rape you for the cost. Sometimes pizza places carry forties. I don't know why. You will not find alcohol in gas stations, grocery stores, etc.
You will only be able to buy what the state has chosen to sell, and interestingly, shit like 190 proof Everclear is just illegal.
The system is supposedly a good thing in that the state buys an assload of alcohol and passes discounts down to you, but that is immediately negated by the fact that the liquor tax is 18% which adds up real fucking quick.
[edit] Sightseeing in PA
PA is home to:
- Fluorescent light signs advertising Amish communities
- A TRAILER FULL OF SPARKLES!!!! ^_^
- Virginville - population: you
[edit] Lulzworthy Citizens
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