PETA
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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PETA, or "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals," "Pedophiles for the Engaging in Terrorism for Animals," as well as "People for the Emphatic Torture of Animals," is a Terrorist Organization created in the '80s by a crazy lesbian named Ingrid Newkirk and her sick fucks, with the twin goals of torturing innocent veal ranchers and pwning rich people by spray-painting peace signs on their endangered species fur coats. Unfortunately, the goal was not precious lulz, but to stop people from eating meat and wearing fur, making these would-be excellent IRL trolls just a bunch of hippies with a lame cause, much like Project Chanology. In general, PETA attempts fails to convince people that delicious animals are people too. But any fucktard knows that animals aren't humans, and most animal would eat or enslave us if they could, they're just too fucking fail. PETA is slowly becoming the number one cause of faggotry in the US. Kill it with fire.
The entire organization is currently $100 million in debt, and is only kept in existence by Satanic influence. In other words, they strive to be the most prominent activist organization in the world. They even have a deviantART page. Go on, you know what to do with it.
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Diets
Unsurprisingly, PETA supports vegans but not vegetarians because consuming dairy, fish, eggs, honey, or gelatin means that you support the enslavement of animals. You are also forbidden to wear leather and fur, but it's okay to wear immitation leather and faux fur, nevermind that you would still be perpetuating the style, and therefore, the demand for real leather and fur.
Famous Trolling Escapades
Jesus was a vegetarian
One of PETA's earlier trolling escapades was their 1999 "Jesus was a vegetarian" campaign. PETA claimed that Jesus lived a natural, homeopathic life, eating vegetables and rejecting animal sacrifice. Hey, neat idea for a campaign! Except it's not fucking true. According to the Bible, Jesus ate fish and meat on several occasions. A more appropriate stock character would be Hitler, who actually was a vegetarian, but I guess "Hitler was a vegetarian" doesn't sound as appealing.
"Got beer?" campaign
In 2000, PETA launched their "Got Beer?" campaign, where they encouraged college students to drink beer instead of milk. PETA even claimed that beer is healthier than milk in their effort to prevent harming cows and their precious udders. They even sent out promotional bottle openers with the slogan "Drink Responsibly. Don't Drink Milk."
Predictably, pretty much everybody lol'd at the idea that liver-damaging, brain-killing beer was healthier than delicious milk, and MADD wasn't too happy that they were promoting binge drinking to students, so PETA scrapped the campaign.
Timothy McVeigh
Timothy McVeigh, the guy who was blowing up buildings full of innocent people (before it became cool) was on death row in 2001. PETA was retarded enough to send a letter to the jail's warden requesting the remainder of McVeigh's meals be vegetarian.
| —Butthurt letter from PETA. |
McVeigh responds!
Look, the guy was a deranged lunatic who killed over a hundred people, but he's not fucking retarded enough to agree with PETA. McVeigh replied with a letter pretty much pwning PETA, proving that even people who are literally insane aren't insane enough for PETA's bullshit.
| —Tim McVeigh, killer of 168 people: too sane for PETA |
Milk is Rape!
Although milk ranchers may think differently, PETA claims that cows do not like having their teats sucked all day. Science shows cows are horny biches, and like their titties to be sucked otherwise theire boobs put too much pressure on them. As it turns out, drinking milk does not give children strong bones and teeth but instead gives them cowpox.
Instead of drinking milk, we should all drink beer. Although this may sound like a good idea at first, Mothers Against Drunk Driving seem to have a problem with the idea of serving booze to underaged kids.
When the idea of becoming borderline alcoholics backfires, they replaced the idea of drinking cow's milk with drinking human milk. Many declined.
Btw PETA, cowpox makes you invincible to a much more awesome disease called smallpox.
Web Games
PETA has also developed and released several completely fucktarded, protest-oriented games on their peta2 website. Among these include a Mario Bros. knockoff that villainizes Kentucky Fried Chicken and turns the Colonel into some kind of satanic demon wielding a bloody butcher knife, a Cooking Mama game where you graphically decapitate, stuff, and roast a delicious Thanksgiving turkey, and a game where you go on a vandalism spree as a little woodland creature with a can of spray paint. It's really amazing that trolls this great are such complete faggots.
Your Daddy Kills Animals
Sadly lacking in any form of logic or reason, a common tactic for PETA is to scare children into becoming vegetarians.
The heart-warming lesson of this pamphlet is that if your father has ever gutted a fish, taken a ride on a horse, or stroked the cat, then he is sadistic killer in the making - meaning you are next on his list.
| —PETA (sauce) |
Sea Kittens
PETA's latest mind-numbing campaign already has its very own article. The word "fish" should be replaced with the words "sea kittens."
In the spirit of things, in September 2008 a woman painted herself silver and suspended herself in the air with hooks through her back to protest shark fishing. Although not directly connected to PETA, we will blame them anyway.
We Love You so Much We'll have to Kill You . . .
- Fact: Out of the 1,997 animals that PETA "rescued" in 2007, 1,815 were killed (>90%). Doesn't sound very ethical, does it?
- Fact:. PETA has killed at least 21,339 animals as of the end of 2008. Very nice!
PETA's against animal shelters because they keep the animals in cages. I guess euthanizing the animals is "ethical treatment", but caging them isn't.
Save the Hambeasts
For the summer of 2009, PETA took aim at a particularly vulnerable trolling target, putting up billboards of a bikini-clad fatass and the slogan "SAVE THE WHALES. LOSE THE BLUBBER. GO VEGETARIAN." Predictably, feminist porkers all over the internets flew into a massive, quaking Jell-O mold rage, infuriated by the implication that their six-KFC-buckets-a-day diet might not be entirely healthy and morally defensible.
This represents a potentially wise change of direction for PETA, as they have finally found an opponent even more hypersensitive, irrational, and generally lulzy than they are.
Web 1.0 Adventures
In 1995, Mike Doughney, an early Web 1.0 troll, registered the peta.org domain name. He then put up a site with cooking recipes called "People Eating Tasty Animals", filled with parodies of PETA and veiled references to their politics.
PETA flipped their shit. They contacted the InterNIC in 1996 and demanded that the peta.org domain name be transferred to them. The InterNIC placed the peta.org domain on hold pending an investigation, before finally granting PETA the domain name in 2001 after deciding Mike was squatting and diluting their trademark.
Hilarious Hypocrisy
In a move that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows about PETA, in 1998, two years after filing suit against a man squatting on their domain name, PETA themselves registered the domains RINGLINGBROTHERS.COM and VOGUEMAGAZINE.COM and put up sites criticizing the circus' treatment of animals and the magazine's printing of fur ads. Eventually, both Ringling Brothers and Vogue contacted PETA, and PETA caved, handing over both URL's.
Fun Facts
- PETA has been protesting Bonsai Kittens, a well known trolling hoax, for over 8 years.
- All of the members PETA are devout homosexuals.
- PETA is bankrolled by the meat industry to make vegetarians look bad. This should be fairly obvious by now.
- PETA claims that animal killing is wrong, but every year they "put to rest" over 9,000 animals using that lovely euthanization technique.
- PETA claims that owning any sort of animal (dog, cat, horse, etc.) to be used as a pet/companion is morally wrong, and the poor animal would have a greater chance of survival on the streets instead of at home with people, which explains why if you feed a stray cat, he'll keep coming back to your house for more food. Of course.
- PETA, not unlike Scientology, strives to recruit high profile, big name stars to spread their propaganda. One such star is Kimora Lee, despite the fact that her "Baby Phat" clothing line conspicuously features leather and fur trim. However, she donated $20,000US to the PETA War Chest, so PETA thinks that she's aawwwwwriiiight!
Fun Quotes
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Contact
If you want to support PETA's antics, please feel free to contact them:
Tel: +44 (0) 207 3579229 ext. 221
Fax: +44 (0) 207 357 0901
Email: RobM@peta.org.uk
Address: P.O. Box 36668 , London , SE1 1WA
Website: PETA.org.uk
And their US contact
Tel: 757-622-PETA (7382)
Fax: 757-622-0457
Address 501 Front St., Norfolk, VA 23510
Games
Test your terrorist skills by playing the awesome Fur Fighters right now... high scores save skins.
Gallery
| Gallery Of PETAss | ||||||||||
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External Links
- The PETA Files PLZ troll ASAP.
- peta2 on devianTART Yes, they even have a deviantART page Raid, plz.
- Japanese Bug Fights .com Japanese entertainment at its best.
- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) The animal rights organization
- Peta-sucks.com
- PETA Kills Animals. OH LAWD!
- PETA TV See how animals get tortured and sluts protest. (UNCENSORED)
- PETA TV:Running of the Nudes 2007 Naked protest.
- On wiki
- Why drinking milk will kill you and everyone you love
- Their new perfume - GORE
- Click for the racist joke, stay to watch the bears being skinned.
- And just for fun . . .
- Fur Fighters Flash
GashGame - PETA Killed 95% of Their Pets Last Year
- Sign a petition against PETA Sign the petition to get rid of PETAs tax-exempt status, do it for the lulz
Forum Links
- The forum itself
- A thread about a dish called "Bacon Explosion"
- C'mon guise - meat isnt THAT bad . . .
- PETA trolled on EQ2Flames
See Also
- Vegan
- Environmentalism
- Animal Liberation Front Their military unit
- Sea Kittens
- Dave Warwak
- Camille Marino
- Animal abuse
- Trolls
- Beastiality
- Irony
PETA is part of a series on Bad things to happen to animals |
Basic Concepts
Furry • Bestiality • Taxidermy • Animal Abuse |
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Opposing Concepts and Causes
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BestiLOLity in Action
Poeticirony • Crusadercat • Darkhorseman • Dracoguard • Esachasa • Mr. Hands • WolfJLupus • Chibiabos • Charles-wolfman • ShadoWolffess • Snover • Skylos • Marry Your Pet • Neuticles.com • Dalhusky • Cory Williamson • Abbie Hawkins | |
Why We Don't Have Nice Things
Alcohol • Alisa Kuzmenko • Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico • Camrose Cat Killers • Chevy the Therapy Dog • Cheyenne Cherry • City glitter • LinktheWolf • Staredog • Tinkebell • Wang Jeu • Zeriara • Zippocat • NEDM • David Motari • "Mudkips" the cat • Bonsai Kitten • Japanese Bug Fights • Heaven • Kenny Glenn • Travis the Killer Chimp • Tyler Weinman • Marvin Morvan and Alex Teniola |



