Philadelphia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The city of Philidelphia is better known as Fagadelphia because of a well-known, overrated film about gheys. West section of said town is where Will Smith was born and raised, a place in which on the playground he spent most of his days. He was forced to leave after niggers attempted to kick his black ass, making him one lucky bitch.
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[edit] History
Imagine a city full of niggers. They're all fat, some obese, walking around wearing jerseys of sports teams that they likely take way too fucking seriously. They're always walking around with a gun in front of their junk, and a giant cheese-steak dripping grease all over their sports jerseys. These people's hobbies include raping white women, killing each other, football, and eating too damn much. Oh, and a I guess so me of them are faggots. This is pretty much the city's population. Now what if I told you this city is real? Lo and behold, the great Philadelphia, the place shameful enough to be the birthplace of the USA.
Philadelphia is such a steaming pile of fail, it's population has gone down 40% in the last 100 years, yet it is still the sixth most populated city in the states.
[edit] Niggers + Niggers = Dead Niggers
Because Philadelphia has so many niggers bunched up in one place, their homicide rate is higher than Kurt Cobain after snorting his father's ashes. Because of course, when niggers are forced to live in close proximity, they'll start gang wars and kill off as many nigras as they can, so the other nigras can have more hot water to themselves. It's said that everyone who lives in Philadelphia is mentally unstable (provoking them to choke a bitch), mainly because of how crap the city is. Philadelphia suffers from:
- Having a nigger for a mayor
- Having shitty public transportation
- Its kids being dumber than dry paint
- Having dumbass mayors put houses on top of huge piles of shit
Dumb school district president making the kids dumbQUIT LOL- Poverty
- Blah blah blah, etc.
Because everyone who lives in Philadelphia hates it, everyone tends to carry a gun around, shooting everything/one they see. Of course, Atlanta, like much of the South, is second to the number of niggers in one place. The only difference is the white people who keeps the population in check (PROTIP: Philadelphia is the only city to drop a bomb on it's own citizens).
[edit] Severe case of the Gay
On the other side of Philadelphia, there's been a severe outbreak of Fagengitus, giving everyone the gay, as well as the AIDS. Because of this, Philadelphia is fast approaching the title of 'Gayest City in America' (watch your back, San Francisco!). Hell, Philadelphia even designates an entire section of the city as the 'Gayborhood'. Anyone who enters this quarantine will too be infected with the gay, as well as six guys wanting to suck your cock. Philadelphia also devotes a history month to them, and makes hating gays shun worthy and almost illegal. Fred Phelps would probably come down to protest this bullshit, if he weren't guaranteed to be infected with the gay by doing so.
[edit] SEPTA
Philadelphia's public transporation system is called SEPTA, short for South Eastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority. It was created by Joseph Stalin as an attempt to undermine the USA during the Cold War through creating the most frustrating system of public transportation known to man, in order to force the implosion of the USA. Once he realized that Noone gives a fuck about Philadelphia, he is said to have done it for the lulz. Since then, it has become a breeding ground for niggers, as well as the easiest place to find hookers and blow, but be warned, all hookers in Philadelphia have AIDS. Each SEPTA bus also tends to have at least 100 fat fucks who take up all the room, and crowd the bus. Just last thursday, they gotten rid of their transfer passes, because the people who own SEPTA are lazy jews who want you to pay over 9,000 to use their shitty buses.
SEPTA is also infamous for being on strike over 9000 different times.
[edit] E-A-G-L-E-S EE-GUHLZZZZZ
People who live in Philadelphia tend to be stupid sports fanatics as well, gathering in bars and masturbating whenever their football team, The Eagles, are playing. The Eagles are the biggest failures to ever exist in Football, since they almost' win the Superbowl every year. Every single year. This is most likely caused by the fact that it's impossible for them to improve. Regardless, Philadelphians always walk around in Eagles jerseys, chanting the fight song, and shoving Philadelphia Cheesesteaks through their tight puffy lips. While they're doing this, the mayor is designating more holidays based around The Eagles, and betting Tastykakes on who can stuff their face the fastest with tastykakes, because he enjoys the sensation of throwing them up later. Before important Eagles games, the team plays the Rocky theme song, which is sadly ironic because Rocky lost.
Eagles fans are the most fucktarded fans ever, because Eagles fans are the only fans capable of hating themselves. To demonstrate this, try wearing any former Eagles players jersey to a game. You will get trolled by everyone around you, and will possibly be the target of airborne beers or even shoes.
[edit] Benjamin Franklin
Because Philadelphia hasn't accomplished anything since Benjamin Franklin was alive, the city tends to pimp the shit out of him, and milk him for every penny he's worth. Celebrating his birthday for an entire year instead of one day, Benjamin Franklin is one of the most overrated icons of history since Gwen Stefani was considered a music icon. One out of every 100 Philadelphians looks exactly like Ben Franklin, so the streets tend to be overrun with Ben Franklin look a-likes when anything remotely related to him comes up. Now 300 years old and more highly regarded than Jesus, it's unknown whether or not Philadelphia will just move on. Some say in 2245, Ben Franklin will rise from the dead on a giant stone tablet of the Ten Commandments and sodomize every Jew in the city forcing them to move back to their homeland so that niggers like John Street won't ever have to admit to laundering money from the Make A Wish Foundation. Benjamin Franklin is a gay nigger from niggrousfill North Niggaria and his real name is Bojangles Von Franknig von Fagsalot. And he has sex with Top Notches father every morning.
[edit] Philadelphia Neighborhoods
- West Philadelphia: See intro. Enjoy your gun violence.
- Southwest Philadelphia: Niggers. Enjoy your gun violence.
- University City: Hippies, Anarcho-punks, and Drexel University.
- Center City: Rich fucks in their condos, homeless and niggers all over the streets. Good place for going downtown to the Gallery mall.
- North Philadelphia: Niggers and spics. Enjoy your gun violence.
- South Philadelphia: Degos, lol Rocky. Oh, except that was filmed in the Northeast.
- Northeast Philadelphia: The suburbs, except you have to pay Philadelphia taxes. Also, it's an infested breeding ground for filthy thieving Russians and other people of Slavic descent who shower almost as little as the niggers and speak less English than the spics.
[edit] In Popular Culture
- It is the setting of the retarded sitcom on the FX network, It's Never Funny in Philadelphia.
- The setting for the Rocky films 1 thru 39.
- M. Night Shyamalan has filmed movies in Philadelphia over 9000 times.
- Tom Hanks played a ghey guy with teh AIDS in Philadelphia
