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Pikmin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pikmin is a lame awesome, 2-game deal about a 2 1 inch tall Mario clone Hocotatian pimp collecting stuff with his variety of hoes, which are, coincidentally, called Pikmin. Again, may I remind you it's only 2 games. But, the main character, Captain Olimar Mario Olimar, somehow made it into Brawl. What? Actually he's only in Brawl because they're making a new Pikmin game i.e. the same reason Roy was in Melee. Either way, he uses his little slaves to steal your stuff for drug money a fucking jew ship. (no, srsly http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/pikmin/images/thumb/8/8f/Gold_ship.jpg/500px-Gold_ship.jpg). Hardcore shit if you ask me.
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[edit] The Games
The games. May I remind you there are only two.
[edit] Pikmin
Pikmin 1, as some call it, is a pretty cool game. The plot is basically, Captain Olimar Mario Olimar flies around in this dinky little plastic spaceship a ship the could fucking beat you in a race, amirite, until a meteor pwns the living shit out of him. So he goes flying down onto a planet and catches on fire, where his ship bursts into a bunch of pieces for the lulz. So, a few hours later, Olimar Mario Olimar wakes up, dazed and confused on the ground. He looks around, and sees that his plastic toy ship has been pwnt. So he cuts himself over it, then looks around. He eventually finds a big round thing. It pops up out of the ground and jizzes out a seed, which then goes into the ground. Olimar Mario Olimar dubs this round thing as the "Onion". What a creative mind. After a few months<s/> <s>years centuries of careful gardening skills, it finally grows enough so that Olimar Mario Olimar can viciously rip it out of the ground like a newborn infant out of its mother's womb. So he finds out that the little asspie can carry stuff. The little shit runs over and rapes a flower to death and steals a pellet from it, which it shoves up the Onion's ass. A few seconds later, the Onion jizzes out some more seeds to make more of those slave things. Aha! The Onion is basically a huge PENIS! Awesome! Olimar Mario now had to do something: He has to collect all the pieces of his ship, which were completely intact despite having exploded, in 30 days, using these little Pikmin as little slaves. HARDCORE. If you leave them alone during the night, Bulborbs come and eat them, so jam them all in the fucking onion. If you let one of your Pikmanz grow in the ground long enough, they grow flowers bulbs and flowers, amirite, on their heads. This means that You have transformed into a homosexual; kill you before you spread your AIDS. An alternative is to feed you to the Bulborbs so they slowly die of AIDS.
- Red Pikmin: The steroid-
abusers. They pwn the hardest, apparently, because they're just that fucking good. Also resistant to burning. - Blue Pikmin: The weak little bitches of the Pikmin family. Because they're the only ones with mouths, they are thee only ones who can actually suck
Olimar'sMario's dick. They whine the most, which is why they suck physically. Unfortunately they don't drown when thrown into the water. - Yellow Pikmin: The
ugly ones that nobody likesfucking yellow ones. They have huge fucking ears that get nothing. they lose. good day sir.OlimarMarioOlimar throws them the farthest because he fucking you.
[edit] Pikmin 2
OMG SEQUEL
Pikmin 2. Olimar Mario Olimar gets his ship together and goes flying back to his planet. He gets there and finds out that his fatass, douchebag boss has gone into bankruptcy (although Louie Luigi WEEGEE Louie was the one that fucked up ate the jew carrots, but nobody cares about him anyways), basically thoroughly screwing over Olimar Mario Olimar. Out of shock, he drops a bottle cap he had taken home as a souvenir to you<s> his son. The nearby ship sucks it up with its mouth nozzle and values the thing to be at least 100 Pokos, which are apparently the shit that they use for currency. Then the ship FIRES ITS LAZORS
Anyway, that dick of a boss orders <s>Olimar Mario Olimar and Louie Luigi Louie to go back to the planet and collect more bottle caps to get lots of Pokos to pay off the debt. And OMFG 2 MOAR KINDS OF PIKUMAN!!! OMG!!
PurpleBlack PikminFaggot Pikmin: The fatasses of the Pikmin family. They're fucking fatasses. Being the darkest of all other types of pikmin they can be compared to fatass Niggers. For one, they can fucking steal more stuff than all the others. Second, they are fucking fatasses.- White Pikmin: The skinny, pale-skinned basement dwellers of the Pikmin family. These guys are awesome for Jihading, since they are the poison ones. It is over 100% probable that you would be considered a white Pikmin.
[edit] Brawl
Olimar Mario Olimar is in Brawl. Wait...Pussies fear the anal raping Pikmin!! Olimar Mario Olimar uses his Pikmin to attack, because he's invincible and, unlike metaknight, he is not a faggot. Tourneyfags and people who are serious about this game all haet Olimar Mario Olimar because his Pikmanz are 2 strogn. All the guys love Olimar Mario No, everyone hates Mario in Super Smash Bros., it's Olimar. Anyway, yeah. Olimar throws his Pikmin at other characters, which then attach to them and viciously rape them to death. Everyone uses Olimar because of his speed and power, and his long grab that has no lag to it. The only downside is his tether recovery, which can be easily edgehogged. And each Pikmin has a special power! Red has fire, Yellow has electricity, Blue has nothing because blue Pikmin suck, Purple has power because it's a fatass, and White can rape other players the hardest. You can either suck or blow with Pikmin. Chances are that if you're a guy who rules with Olimar, as soon as you kick one of your Wifi buddies shitless they will either de-friend you or tell you to stop using Olimar.
[edit] Pikmin 3
Shortly after E3 2008, Shigeru Miyaoromaoto announced that Nintendo is working on a new Pikmin game. Pikmin 3 will be one of Nintendo's most anticipated games for 2009. Hopefully, it won't be lame and chock full of shit like another game series, and maybe it'll be uber kewl because it's on the Wii.
[edit] Pikmin before meeting Olimar. WARNING: This video contains AIDS due to faggotry.
[edit] See Also
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Pikmin is part of a series on Gaming. |
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