Pirate
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Unlike the lies spread by the corrupt media, pirates are actually divine beings, incarnates of pure light. They also take on the role of toothfairies, because they work to rid the world of sadness. Bless their heart.
A pirate is a person who lives at sea and wears arrrrrrgyle socks. When they were molested in their youths, they all lost one leg and/or one hand and/or one eye, so they walk around with a wooden leg, a hook and an eye patch, screaming "ARRRRRRGH!"
Many years ago, pirates were infamous for raiding European trade ships, stealing their treasure and hiding it in their asses — hence the word "booty" — all while being ungodly drunk. Most badass pirates drank rum but dumbass wigger pirates drank grog... Who the fuck knows why. There was a time when pirates were endorsed by the kings and queens of Europe to raid merchant vessels from opposing countries, which sucks 'cause we can't do that now.
Modern pirates can most frequently be found in the vast eastern seas of Asia, toting firearms and robbing fishing boats of their musical booty. They are alerted to their prey by informants using cell phones. This is known as a "booty call" (see real world). Although they fear noone they are majorly pissed off by the gay WEB SHERIFF's who be all up in they bidness.
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[edit] Ass Pirates
Another term used frequently in today's modern society is "Ass Pirate". Ass pirates differ from regular pirates in that they are gay. There is a simple test to tell a regular pirate from an ass pirate:
- Ask them what they are doing.
If they say "plundering your booty" then kill you, they are a regular pirate. If they say "plundering your booty" then giggle and say "God, I'm such a bitch!", they are an ass pirate.
[edit] Ass Ninjas
Some associate Ass Ninjas with Proctology although this may vary with the overall stealthiness of the said Ass Ninja (It is currently up for debate whether or not the ass ninja should or should not cause pain)
[edit] Web Pirates
Web Pirates are people that download songs, movies and pr0n. In other words, we are all pirates! Fucking Arr! Also, don't look on ED for info about how to pirate and shit. Although we are apparently hackers on steroids, we're 2 smart 4 u and pretend we're n00bs.
[edit] Science Pirates
A new breed of pirates that spread the message of rape and pillage while, at the same time, curing people of diseases as well as making people wonder why the hell they haven't become an hero yet. Their most well known trait is dual wielding bows of all kinds.
[edit] Pirates of the Caribbean
[edit] Gallery
 Bloodthirsty creatures |
 Note the hat and large purple dildo. |
 Teh moneyz or teh plank. |
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 Do you really want to know? |
 A pirate keyboard |
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