Poland
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Poland is the Mexico of Europe, widely known for its superior tits. But nobody gives a shit since Poland has been forgotten long time ago. The last country that remembered Poland was Germany in 1939. Currently, Poland is the 51st of all the 57 states of the USA.
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Overview
Since the Jews have been missing since the 1940s, the remaining people, "the Poles," or "Polacks," serve as the butt of the world's jokes about retarded people. Without the Jews to keep track of the nation's industry, currency, government, infrastructure, and all the other things of civilized life, the Poles just sort of bumble along in life, making ends meet, with a living standard almost as low as Russia's. Since joining the the European Union, Poland's main export is immigrants.
- The above paragraph is an example of typical Jewish propaganda: Poland is, of course, owned and ruled by Jews, just like every other country and continent in the world except for Scandinavia (too fuckin' cold), Africa (too fuckin' nigga) and the Arab countries (not even Jews wanted to buy them).
- The above paragraph is an example of typical Jewish double propaganda: the whole world is, of course, owned and ruled by Jews.
Tourism
Poland is a popular tourist spot, especially among the Germans, who have been visiting it regularly for over 9,000 years, usually choosing to stay for at least 100 years. Renowned German painter and philosopher Adolf Hitler loved the country so much that he built a concrete summer cottage and several summer camps there. However, the cottage was vandalized in 1945 by drunken Russians, and all the camps except for one were destroyed by drunken British tourists, who were so bombed on Polish vodka that they bombed the camps, for the queers Queen and for major lulz. The one surviving camp was turned into a boring, gloomy museum, which, because of its gloominess, is now a big hit with Jewish tourists.
Wacko Jacko wanted to build a nightmare theme park ("Michael Jackson's Wonderland") in Poland, but dropped the idea in disgust upon learning that there would likely be more young girls rather than boys visiting it. Jackson apparently still wants to buy a castle in Poland and live there, though, which may be a bit difficult considering the fact that he is dead.
Polish military
The Polish Air Force is in possession of 200 assault kites and 5 parachutes. Poland also acquired 100 brand new F-16 jet fighters but only half of them made it to Poland (rest sank in the ocean), the second half has been stolen right after touchdown in Poland.
The Polish Land Forces are an extinct species that has been erased from our planet during World Wars Episode II: Poland getting owned by Soviets and Nazis. However, Polish Underground continued blowing up train lines and hiding in the woods until 1995, not having found out earlier that World War II was already over.
The Polish Navy is one of the most feared navies in the world, with its fleet of 9,001 screendoor submarines, it is considered unbeatable.
Religion
Poland used to be 90% Catholic until last Thursday, when the polackticians changed the tax laws, so that everyone who declared being religious had to pay 0.2% of their tax to support that religious institution. Since then, Poland is 3% Catholic.
The previous version of the Pope was made in Poland. John Paul II (real name: Szczebrzeszyniarz Brzeczyszczyczmoszyski, aka Karol Wojtyła) became many successful meme images and after a while was, of course, conquered and taken over by the Nazi Pope Darth Benedict.
Geography
Last Thursday, Poland was made the 51st state of the USA, in reward for helping CIA to pwn the popular Arab rock band Osama & the Terrorists.
Demographics
As of a 2007 census, there are 11.7 million Poles living in England.
Polish trivia
- Poland is one of the many things you forgot.
- The Germans invaded Poland so quickly because the Nazis walked in backwards, then the Polacks thought they were leaving.
- The double Nobel laureate Marie Curie (born Maria Skłodowska) was Polish and an atheist; she named the element polonium after her native country.
- Nicolaus Copernicus (discovered that Earth wasn't the center of the universe, aka Heliocentric Cosmology) was also a Pole.
- So was Fryderyk Chopin (teh musician).
- But nobody cares about the aforementioned 3 people because they were Pollacks.
- Many Polish names end in -ski because they cannot spell Toboggan.
- In Poland, your name changes if you're a male or female. Usually ends in -ski for guys, -ska for girls, thus when most people come over to America, they usually take the -ski version. (Please see Polish Culture for more information.)
- Birthdays were not celebrated in Poland; they had Calendar days instead. (This has been changing, though, due to Poland becoming capitalist, now.)
- Also, many Polish names sound like Brzęczyszczykiewicz, just to troll Americans.
- Polish women do not use vibrators due to the risk of chipping their teeth.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Polish burglar. lulz.
- 87% of the Polish population opposes vowels.
- The name of Poland's lemon party means "urine" in Danish.
- The Polish Mafia kills people by throwing them out of basement windows.
- In Poland, the groping of women is an acceptable greeting.
- Most Polish computer users can fluently speak English, however they cannot even write correctly in their native-language, cos they're too lazy to hold ALT all the time.
- Their main export is misery. And miserable emigrants.
- Cows in Poland deliver green milk because of the contamination from Uranium after the small incident in Chernobyl in 1986.
- Polish Vodka is TEH REAL DEAL. "Pure Polish Spirit
Vodka" is 96% (a massive 192 proof) alcohol content, and is prescribed by Polish doctors for a range of ailments. Some claim that Polish Vodka can burn the cancer right out of a person. But it cannot burn Teh AIDS out of anyone. - Poland also produces over 100% of all stripper poles. It has held this monopoly since Last Thursday.
- Poles are known to have shitloads of alcohol digesting capacity.
They hold current Guinness record, 12.4 promiles. The faggot who wasted himself so much was riding a bike.Record reportedly broken in April 2009 by a Russian biker. - In Poland, left is actually right, and right is actually left, thus when leaving Poland many Polaks become confused.
- Poland has a huge community of gays, all of whom LOVE the vagina.
- Poland also has a big community of furries, all of whom dress up as humans.
- Poland is a known good luck charm: John Kerry forgot about it, and totally fucked up. George W. remembered Poland and successfully
fixedwon the election.
Polad has arrived on YTMND
Gallery
 Present polish president (at left) with his dog (at right) |
 Typical polish fashion accessory: the hair tie. |
 Image of more typical Polish citizens. |
 Cover of Grand Theft Auto: Poland. |
 Loading Screen from Grand Theft Auto: Poland. |
 Typical Polish bodybuilder. |
 Polish Army is always ready for action. |
Tits or gtfo
Polish girls happen to have exceptional mammaries, thus warranting Poland's existence as a country. busty.pl happens to document this phenomenon quite exceptionally. It's a shame their asses are always so flat.
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 Polish cumdupster. |
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 There were busty Polish girls at least 100 years ago. Even check TOW. |
See also
External links
 | Poland is part of a series on YTMND
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