Portugal
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Portugal is like the California of Europe, full of eurofags, republicans, drugs, pedos and, strangely enough, portuguese people. Just like California, it is the westernmost part of Europe. The only difference is that Portugal has no IRL monies, and it sucks.
The people who dwell there are known as the Portugayse, or Pork an' Cheese ("Porkie" for short).
The world owes a great deal to the portuguese, who started the slave trade of niggers. If it wasn't for slavery, hip hop and rap would not exist. Thanks a lot, faggots.
Fun Fact: only one out of ten Pork an' Cheese children know that Portugal is a country. Noone could find it on a map.
Contents |
Food
Porkies have strange food. They eat snails and other stuff like that, and they love it. They also have dishes which would be qualified as creepy by nearly everyone. Most of them consist on mixing up every single part of pork (like ears, nose, balls and cock) with beans, bread or even potatoes, let it float for a while on yummy liquid straight from Tubgirl's anus and then find fancy names for them such as "PAPAS DE SARRABULHO" or "COZIDO À PORKIEGUESA". They also got something called Codfish which is even used in the military as a shield.
Investigation and Development
Portugal is the first country in the world to have successfully produced and distributed bottled /b/. Comes in many flavors, such as Orange, Lemonaids and others more random, such as Coffee and Lemon.
Foreign Relations
None. All the good portuguese people went to Brazil - but since there were noone anyway, Brazil stayed the same. Portugal has not had an international dispute since 1801. They have France and Spain to keep out the Nazis. They are also the bitches of the UK. Their once great empire fell down in a matter of years, something porkies still baw over today.
A Complete List of Worthwhile Porkies
- D. Afonso Henriques - First Porkie King. His daddy was French. Founded the country after beating up his mommy.
- Vasco da Gama - Discovered the sea route to India, inspiring mass porkie emigrants.
- Christopher Columbus - Discovered America and named it after himself. Crossed the globe at the service of Spain, because the Pork'n'Cheese Court raised several questions and had more important financial priorities.
- António O. Salazar - A great porkie dictator. Deported political prisoners to Cape Verde for teh lulz.
- José Saramago Literature Nobel Prize possibly won thanks to being the only guy who can write whole books without a goddamned period, dash or comma, get away with it, and even be praised for his unique style of writing. Adored by communists everywhere.
- Maddie's kidnapper - Runs a pwn shop in south central Lisbon.
- José Mourinho - Soccer coach who was deported for being extremely serious and arrogant.
- Cristiano Ronaldo - THE BEST soccer player in the world. Known for having a strong taste for teh cock. Pwned by Messi at the Champions League final last Thursday.
- Viriathus - The most manly man in the world. He kept a straight record of beating up Roman ass 'till he was killed by his followers.
- Álvaro Cunhal - The Pork'n'Cheese Stalin. Tried to turn Portugal into an USSR bitch. Ultimately failed and spawned a generation of retarded people who think that everyone who disagrees with their views is a fascist.
- José Sócrates- The actual Pork'n'Cheese Prime Minister. His dream is to transform Portugal into a democratic and developed country.
- Mariza - Today's most popular fado singer. Everyone loves her despite her annoying, shrieking voice.
- George Bush - Yes, he has Pork'n'Cheese descendence! Where do you think all that shit comes from?
- Obama - If it wasn't for the portuguese, that nigga would still be in Africa.
Life
It is a well known fact that 90% of the population in Portugal is depressed, fat, retarded and/or unlulzy. This is why many people move to Brazil, which is the FALSE Portuguese speaking country. Most youth today are either niggers from former colonies, guidos or goths.
Economy
Since all of Portugal is black market software and slave trade, the offical Per Capita GDP is jew gold. The slave trade is booming, however the software pirating industry is being undermined by China. Currently there are no lulz exported from Portugal. There is a VAT of 21% that even though makes Portugal an anti-lulz country, still makes their leader an epic IRL troll.
Trolling Porkies
Ways to troll Porkies
- Tell them Portugal is a part of Spain.
- If they start speaking Portuguese say: "I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish".
- Tell them all their women have mustaches.
- Ask them if they can speak Brazilian.
- Remind them of how much more successful Brazil's people are despite being poor and homeless.
- Also mention Brazil and Soccer in the same sentence.
- Say that Portugal got their independence from Brazil.
List of Butthurt Porkies so far
See Also
- bcool.pt/ Official website of Portugal's finest bottled /b/. Warning: it's in porkiespeak.
