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President
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A President is anyone who is in charge of lots of shit. You can usually tell if you're a president or not based on how many people kiss your ass and how many guns you have. Many countries, such as El Salvador and Texas, use the presidential system instead of having a queen or a dictator.
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[edit] The Election Process
In a democracy or a republic, the President is chosen by the people (except in the United States, where the President is chosen by jews). A specific day is picked and everyone skips out on work to go vote, thus fulfilling their civic duty. Later on that week the election is contested by the loser and then the opponents engage in a fight to the death.
The survivor of the duel then calls his old college/drinking buddies up and invites them to help him run the country into the ground.
[edit] Presidential Powers
When you're a president, you're allowed to do whatever you want. This includes blowing shit up, kicking puppies, eating gourmet meals, and forcing your will upon the world. Some presidents have chosen to do this on their own, but others have claimed to do it in the name of God.
[edit] Examples of Presidents
- Hepkitten is the President of LiveJournal.
- Girlvinyl is the
PresidentQueen of æ. - George Bush is the President of the White House and being a retard.
- Ronald Reagan was the president of capitalism
- Bill Clinton was the president of hookers and blow
- Master Chief is the president of video games
- Bill Gates is the President of money.
- Jeff Goldblum is the President of poop.
[edit] Examples of things that are not Presidents
- Ewan McGregor's Penis
- Al Gore
- Ralph Nader
- John Kerry
- Bob Dole
