Prokofy Neva
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| WARNING: This article contains SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. You can help by minimizing the life-ruining effects. |
Prokofy Neva is an aging hippie and anti-/b/ conspiracy theorist who writes for the "Second Life Herald" alongside Urizenus Sklar. Both Prokofy and Urizenus are dedicated to exposing the truth about /b/.
At this time, the only notable information on Prokofy (despite the fact that she roleplays as a male avatar) is that she thinks all /b/-tards are members of the Patriotic Nigras. She claims to detest being griefed by W-Hatters and Nigras, yet it evades her that every time she opens her mouth she makes herself a target thanks to her non stop stream of inane statements. Prokofy dosn't just feed the trolls, she serves them up a three course meal.
She also happens to be batshit insane.
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[edit] Real Life Stuff
Prokofy happens to speak Russian. Why she chose to learn this language is anyone's guess (Why learn Russian if you hate communists?) but either way, she has worked as a Russian translator for the UN, thus fitting in with the general stereotype that the UN is fucking useless.
As a shrivelled old hag that has never, and now will never, know human affection she uses Second Life as a sort of online hugbox. This explains her batshit insanity and general tendencies towards shitting bricks whenever she is disagreed with. She is a basement dweller of the highest order and has nothing left in her life but the shitty excuse that is Second Life. Bawwwwww.
Incidentally, her name is Catherine A. Fitzpatrick, aged 50, and she lives in New York City. Before she made her home in Second Life, she was addicted to the Sims Online, and was widely despised there. This just goes to show she hasn't had a life since at least 100 years ago.
In a disturbing twist, twist Prokofy/Catherine refers to having a daughter[1]. Obviously this is a child Prokofy stole from Soviet Russia and is fattening up in preparation for eating.
[edit] Second Life Stuff
| —Prokofy Neva |
Prokofy's absolute insanity has not endeared her to anyone. Even the faggots that run Second Life, Linden Labs, banned her from their forums for massive drama creation. Excluding a handful of radical feminists, everyone agrees that she needs to become an hero as soon as possible. She can be seen ranting on any of the Second Life related sites about how anyone that disagrees with her is a troll. She displays her overwhelming sense of unwarranted self importance and masterful displays of stroking her E-Peen to anyone who'll watch. It's so self righteous it's almost hypnotic.
It should be obvious, Prokofy believes Second Life to be SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. According to somethingawful Prokofy previously worked in the UN and as a sociologist but threw it all away to rent out imaginary land to retards. This goes some ways towards explaining her bitterness and easiness to grief. In fact, he/she is so easy to grief that even normal interaction will be treated as cyberrape or some shit.
Her avatar in Second Life is male, this leads us to the assumption that Prokofy, who apparently studied the oppression of women in Soviet Russia has realised the inherent inferiority of women and is disguising herself in an attempt to escape from the kitchen. Alternatively, she is just batshit insane.
If anyone is in Second Life for whatever reason then look for Ravenglass rentals, Prokofy's own little rental company.
[edit] Usual Rants
Prokofy most commonly writes articles about griefing in Second Life, and is well known for her belief that W-Hat, Plastic Duck, /b/ and Patriotic Nigras are all Leninist Bolshevik cultist Maoist Terrorist Communist Nazis from the planet Zolton-5, and are secretly collaborating with Linden Labs, Anshe Chung, Justice League Unlimited, Microsoft, The US government, the FBI, the CIA, the KGB, MI5 and the Illuminati.
Prokofy's own political alignment can be speculated on to be somewhere between Rabid Ayn Rand Fangirl and Psychotic Schizophrenic Delusion, as not only has she given herself a Russian psuedonym, but also seems to somehow draw a parallel between any given event ever and Russian politics from anywhere between 100 years ago and last thursday.
Prokofy's real name is Svetlana Stalin. She lives in an old folks' home in Wisconsin and is a member of the Trilatral Commision. She has a grandson called Mikhail Gorbachev. 100% fact.
She is also concerned by the Illuminati's evil plot to take over Second Life by establishing the "Feted Inner Core", a group that have regular orgies with the Second Life owners, Linden Labs and don't invite Prokofy. This shadowy group exists only in her mind and includes anyone that's been in Second Life for long enough that Prokofy can't call them a noob to avoid arguing.
NOTE: BEWARE, PROKOFY LOEVS LAWSUITS. She's sued somethingawful for libel apparently.[2]
[edit] Paranoia
As the internets are serious business, Prokofy feels that all those who have disagreed with her or insulted her, (usually after first being subjected to a batshit insane rant), do the following
| —Prokofy Neva, summarizing things nicely |
The following Second Life residents fall into this category.
- FlipperPA Peregrine + Jennyfur Peregrine
- Ian Betteridge
- Csven Concord
- Benjamin Duranske
- Cristiano Midnight - Crime: Running a legit forum whose members mocked Prokofy
- Joshua Nightshade
- Dan Hunter
- Hamlet Au - Crime: Being a better Second Life journalist than Prokofy
- Aimee Weber - Crime: Selling virtual clothes for virtual money
- Plastic Duck - Crime: Publicly refusing to suck the shit from Prokofy's ass.
- Ralewyn Gray - Crime: Inferior bread for breaking
- Hazim Gazov - Being an anus
- Tizzers Foxchase - Being too damn sexy.
Bear in mind that these are just the ones that are actually stalking her through the internet. Little does Prokofy know but these people couldn't give a shit about her and her abortive attempts at creating conspiracy theories that make more sense than an employed Nigra.
[edit] Quotes
Being the lolcow that she is, one article or comment by her can spawn at least 100 quotes full of lol.
- I thought we were building a *better* world or something really new and different and spiritually challenging and intellectually challenging.
- When he arrived at the sim, it was being rebuilt, evidently after a griefer trashed it and caused what one source says was close to $1000 US worth of damage
- This *is* national news. Referring to JLU's discovery of a griefer home base.
- This is the face of Leninist cyberterrorism. Referring to the Patriotic Nigras, W-Hat, and other groups that are in it for the lulz.
- No, I don't give in to terrorists who demand ransoms or concessions. Here you can begin to see the trend of giving "griefers" different silly names.
- Drama is what they indulge in, trying to hysterically impose an extremist conservative notion of "not seriousness" on the world. She found out the Reagan Connection!
- I don't buy the Leninist line that these griefers' groups have components that "aren't about griefing". Conservative Leninists!
- They are all indicted as being part of a conspiracy to impose will on others by force.
- I didn't claim any conspiracy here
- They already have gotten you if you can't grasp the essence of the communist Big Lie that lies back of this Leninst group - Referring to /b/.
[edit] Links
Since Prokofy Neva does little except write for the Second Life Herald (which she holds as a standard-bearer of journalistic integrity), she has many source of lulz for the world to see.
| Prokofy Neva is part of a series on Second Life 
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Prokofy Neva is part of a series on Gaming. |
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