Quentin Tarantino
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Quentin Tarantino is an "indie" film director known for giving shitty actors a second shot at a career so they can ruin it again (e.g., John Travolta). His claim to fame is unapologetically stealing movies in their entirety and replacing the credits with his own. He is in every sense the Eric Bauman of the film industry, and recently has come up with his own version of the famous watermark: "Presented by Quentin Tarantino".
His hype and popularity are kept by him being constantly masturbated over by 13 year old boys on the internet for his ground-breaking use of the term: "dead nigger storage".
Tarantino is idolized by 13 year old boys because his movies are circle jerks of senseless, excessive violence and swearing with no point or plot. Just lame excuses to show senseless violence and random outbreaks of racism and Orientalist fantasies about white people being submerged in Asian cultures. His movies depict the nonsensical, unfocused rage, angst and anti-social fantasies of bored, middle class suburban teenagers and young adults who aren't satisfied with the status quo but have no idea of what to do besides commit random acts of violence against niggers, chinks and guys in suits. They say his movies are "stylistic" but that's bullshit. They're just extended scenes of shooting, stabbing, swearing and drug using with no plot and shitty editing. Apparently having no plot means that your movies are "non-linear" (read: doesn't know how to use an editing machine) or depict "ordinary people". "Ordinary people" must have a lot of free time, dark pasts, and lots of guns.
He is known for being a japanophile, and a complete and utter luser who speaks too fast and has a foot fetish. His unique facial features are a result of him using a jagged rock as a pillow when he sleeps. When he is not being a smarmy asshole, he can be found in the editing room jerking off to footage of Lucy Liu who is every Asiaphile white boy's fantasy china doll come to life.
Contents |
[edit] "Movies"
[edit] Reservoir Dogs
While sitting in the video store he worked at, he was watching some free movies when he stumbled upon Stanley Kubrick's movie "The Killing," and Ringo Lam's "Lung fu fong wan" (Moonspeak for "City On Fire"). Quentin liked them so much, he ripped off the content of both of them; made a low-budget, poorly edited (aforementioned "non-linear style") piece of shit and slapped his name on it. To this day, Quentin's fanboys still make TL;DR essays about the "Original Genius" of this blatant theft they dare call a movie.
One man was brave enough to go against the raging faggotry and made a short video on how much was taken from "City on Fire" called "Who Do You Think You're Fooling?". This caused epic amounts of butthurt among Qt's fans who could only respond with flames and say "EVERYBODY STEALS FROM EVERYBODY, SO IT'S A-OK AMIRITE? LOL!". Of course the banhammer fell on him and he was barred from the film festival.
The Vid:
- Who Do You Think You're Fooling? - removed :(
[edit] Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction, Quentin's "big break," loved by aforementioned 13 year-olds, people who love hearing "fuck" a lot, and people who love watching black men being assraped by a guy in a gimp suit. The film is known for being the recipient of an Oscar despite being on a shit budget, probably because Quentin spent all the money supplying his critics with enough blow for good reviews.
[edit] Jackie Brown
After snorting all his moneys worth of cocaine off Uma Thrurman's left foot after the success of Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino spent his last ten dollars on buying the rights to a shitty Elmore Leonard novel. You would think that because this next film of his was to be based off of a book, that it would leave Mr. Tarantino to not be a two-bit cock bandit who resorts to stealing from other films; you were wrong. Despite the book having a white female heroine, Quentin insisted on changing it to a black lead in his new vision of shit, which he called Jackie Brown (despite the novels original title being "Rum Punch"). The reason being was so that he could try to turn the film into a blaxploitation film and give it more attitude. This basically meant that Quentin could now incorporate more shitty elements from more shitty films that belonged in the annals of film history. Samuel L. Jackson starred in this film as well, this time portraying an obnoxious, angry black man who said fuck alot. Pam Grier also tried to act her way through the film, but failed. Instead her robust Cadillac ass did most of the acting for her, and was nominated for a Golden Globe award for her performance. Robert De Niro was awarded a gallon of Quentin's man jam for his performance in the film.
[edit] Kill Bill Volume 1
This movie is basically every japanophile's wet dream become a reality. Quentin's creative jeanyuss with this movie began with him forcing all of his favorite actors from azn cinema to gag on his cock. These actors include: Sonny Chiba, Chiaki Kuriyama, Chia Hui Liu, Lucy Liu, and many other famous azn actors who are now out of a job and need to suck dick for coke. The movie is done in his famous "non-linear" fashion, which is a creative name for shit-poor editing and storytelling. The movie is littered with numerous Japanese pop-culture references, and the unnecessary use of animu. However, the biggest achievement of this film is making fans pay full price for a half-assed movie that he couldn't even edit down.
[edit] Kill Bill Volume 2
Rest of the epic shitfest that didn't make it into the first movie. Under normal circumstances this would be the special features of the DVD but, since Quentin's fans are such fucktards, he can get away with it.
[edit] Grindhouse
Described by fantards as an "Homage to 70's B movies" (known to the rest of us as more poorly justified theft) this newest movie is actually 2 films put together. Trying to learn from his previous editing catastrophe with Kill Bill, Tarantino actually made a movie short enough... or so he thought. Apparently his movie "Death Proof" was just below the minimum requirement to be considered a feature-length film so instead of putting the effort in to re-shoot and make it longer, he got Robert Rodriguez to slap together a filler movie about Rodriguez's amputation fetish called "Planet Terror".
Ultimately, however, nobody wants to see a four hour movie so nobody did. When it tanked, (just like a '70s B movie), Tarantino threw a media tantrum and blamed the studio for failing him. Meanwhile, before its release, when the studio suggested that it might be prudent to drop the movie as two separate films in order to make it easier on the public, Tarantino threw a hissy-fit and accused the studio of not understanding his vision. QT fanboys were reported to be venting their angst all over the blogosphere.
