Questionable logic

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search

It has been suggested that this article should be merged with Retarded. To find out moar please spam the talk page.

On the first day, God sprinkled moon dust in outer-space and KABOOM! the Earth.

In thinking this phat tat would get him all the hoochies, ~~this young man~~ YTCracker fell prey to Questionable logic.

Ever find yourself in an argument with a fellow decent god-loving citizen of the Internets on IRC, TOW, or a news site comment page? If you have, you ~~might~~ definitely have been subject to a phenomenon known as Questionable Logic.

Practitioners of this fast growing alternative to critical thought can be identified by their supercilious, bureaucratic tone, their ever-present air of smugness, and the verbose, long-winded manner with which they carry on "conversations." Armed with a spell checker, a thesaurus, and a year and a half of community college, these warriors of the web are fully equipped to fill their run-on sentences with words like dynamic, zeitgeist,and portmanteau, all whilst not actually saying a goddamned thing.

Basic format

You: I don't like x
Guy: Really? That's interesting.
Guy: Because I think if you take a closer look at the subcutaneous intricacies of the matter, you will see that your opinion cannot survive long under the rigors of intelligent debate without adapting to a more reasonable facet of understanding.
Guy: Let me explain.
Guy: You see, I like x
You: (bbscript-m386.http.ca.comcast.com) Quit
Guy: People like me.
Guy: People are right.
Guy: Furthertherewhereforemore, you should like x.
Guy: Ah the cut and thrust of academia, it's not for everyone.

OR

If A, then B.

If B, maybe A.

B > A

Sometimes, B = A.

Therefore, C ~= 98°

Protecting Yourself

The only 100% effective way to make sure you are not swayed by these harpies' smooth sounding rhetoric on such important topics as The 2008 United States Presidential Election, Global Warming, and Internet Law is to abstain from communication completely. Alternately, you can try not being an impressionable fucktard (Warning, PRO-level only). However, there are a few telltale signs you might be speaking to someone who has invented their own system of logic and has neglected to mention their use of it in place of yours. A look at the lineup in their arsenal of bullshit:

Key words/phrases

Thus
Furthermore
Rationally speaking
Let's be objective
No, your logic is flawed
Wrong

Key forums

If, while talking to someone on the internet, they sound smart after one or two sentences, it is usually safe to say they they are preempting their barrage of questionable logic with some copypasta they overheard on public radio. If you are unsure, find the longest word in the copypasta and ask them what it means. Sign off/quit IRC/go fap before they have a chance to google it.