R9gay
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
/r9k/ is one of 2 new final boards added to 4chan on February 19th, 2008. After childhood memories of being ræped by a robot surfaced in therapy, m00t took a page from Randall Munroe's blog and created the board. It is now moderated by the aborted fetus of the aforementioned tryst, a bot named "ROBOT9000" that prevents the same image or text from being reposted EVAR AGAIN.
It initially showed a lot of promise as the best general discussion board on 4chan, apparently immune to the failure that contaminated /b/.
However, m00t's little lab experiment has since turned into his Frankenstein's monster, as it has since been populated with millions and millions of angsty teenage moralfags who blow their load every time they realize that what they're saying can only ever be said again with slight variation. Every topic on the board is centered around their liberal, elitist BAWWWWWWfest antics, taking no care to show anything but contempt and disrespect for their /b/tarded elders and superiors. The aforementioned fags bring it with thread sandwiches made of NORPs, Dr. Phil, and AIDS. If you're ever in need of a good ROFL, any given thread on /r9gay/ will turn that frown upside down.
[edit] The Gentlemen of /r9gay/
Initially a haven from The Cancer for battle-weary bonafide Oldfag /b/tards, /r9k/ quickly became invaded with uppity newfags claiming Oldfag status and calling themselves "Gentlemen" or "lu/r9k/ers".
The influx of sensitivefags came from the likes of Digg and Enturbulation after reading of 4chan due to Project Chanology. Droves of butthurt LJ and DA faggots soon followed, bringing their constant whining about Anonymous being 'mean' to Aspies and other innocent victims, ED being a racist and homophobic attack site, and generally being pots calling the niggers kettles black. This has rankled the hackles of some oldfag /b/tards, resulting in some very ungentlemanly name-calling.
Forgetting where they are, these PC "Gentlemen" spend a great deal of their USI time bitching and hand-wringing about the very things that made 4chan the place it is: a THE place to lose faith in humanity.
It's not hard to see where this one's going: once the likes of /b/, /k/, and /h/ get a whiff of the bunched panties emanating from /r9k/, Anonymous will likely eat its own.
[edit] The Rules
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no reposts. Rules:
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
RULES:
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no reposts. Rules/observations/etc:
- If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
- The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
- Each mute time is 2^n (thanks, mathsfags) in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
- Quotes, eg >>1, are not viewed by R9K. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes on R9K. (This also applies to >quotes)
- Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality is punished with the full force of the banhammer. Even testing R9K's parameters seems to draw the ire of the mods.
- Images are included. Slight changes in exif data, etc, however, seem to circumvent this rule, but like with text if you break the filter the REAL LIVE MODS will banhammer you.
-
Your mute count never resets or goes backwards. (This will probably be changed eventually)Mute counts decrease slowly. - You cannot post a picture without text.
- Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc)
- The too low in content filter was broken for a while, resulting in a lot of crappy mutes. Sorry. Mods have twice reset the mute counts because of this.
- Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
- The original algorithm was designed by XKCD: http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
- R9K cannot self-terminate.
[edit] How to troll /r9k/
On the scale of difficulty, /r9k/ is somewhere between /s/ and /b/. Known methods for trolling include:
- Say you're from /b/; if this doesn't work,
- Say you're from ED; if still doesn't work,
- Pretend you're a protestfag, bitching about Scientology; if still no response,
- Post as Pepe, Peepe, P3epe, P3eepe, or any of the variants; This is guaranteed to make you a successful troll.
[edit] Typical Gentleman's reaction to morally reprehensible material
[edit] Workarounds
When the board was first created, you could work around the bot for text by quoting a few previous replies as this added uniqueness to your post. The mods quickly fixed this part of the code and the bot now strips quotes and replies before running the post through the database.
Images can be reposted by changing the exif data, resizing, using a HEX editor, etc. before reposting. However, there are still actual mods on /r9k/, and they will issue swift and painful banhammers to anyone who would oppose the new robot overlord.
[edit] Differences from /b/
- The chaps of /r9k/ consider themselves to be far more sophisticated than the rabble of /b/, and refer to themselves as "Gentlemen." Of course, being the smartest and most sophisticated of the users on 4chan is roughly equivalent to winning gold at the Special Olympics. Another somewhat popular label is "lu/r9k/ers," which is a gross misrepresentation, since the majority of /r9k/ users are more likely to lurk LJ than 4chan.
- /r9k/ gets far less traffic than /b/. While this does amount to fewer posts, it has its advantages. For instance, one can have actual discussions on /r9k/ without the thread being spammed by forced memes and kicked to page 10 by unoriginal material and camwhores.
- The most obvious difference is, of course, that /b/ has had absolutely no original content whatsoever for about two and a half years. /r9k/, on the other hand, has nothing but fresh, new, and never-before-seen material.
- As seen above, /r9k/ users are far more politically correct and sensitive than average /b/tards.
- E-psychiatry is common practice on /r9k/ and it's never difficult to find an overzealous or enthusiastic "troll" (the term is used loosely in this instance) offering an FBI profile on any given poster. If you're feeling depressed or have any personal issues, /r9k/ has an army of individuals ready to serve your needs around the clock.
[edit] R9K Explains His Vision
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[edit] Future
Like all boards on 4chan, /r9k/ is not without its problems. However, it still functions as a moderately good discussion board, and is still a good idea in theory. While one may still have to wade through a knee-deep pool of shit to get to the good content, this is really no different than any other board on 4chan. In fact, /r9k/'s pool of cancer (composed mostly of butthurt aspies, rather than retarded noobs) is probably still at a shallower level than that of /b/, and there is hope that the tumors in /r9k/ will go into remission. How long the board will stay in its current condition is unknown, but the fact that the board went from great to rather shitty in about two months is not exactly a testament to its potential. But for now, /r9k/ is still a good board to browse, without the threat of a front page filled with nothing but camwhores, Roll Calls, and MOTIVATE ME! threads.
4chan's crack team of experts has yet to determine how long the board will last in its current state. However, given how long /b/ has managed to survive while being terminally ill with cancer shows that there is still some hope for /r9k/. The best solution, obviously, would be for some sort of actual moderation and chemo on the part of moot and the 4chan mods. Of course, knowing moot, it is perfectly reasonable to expect two more World Wars and an Ice Age before any real help is provided.
[edit] R9K Opines On ED
[edit] Gallery
 The original incarnation of R9K as per Moot's sticky. |
 I, for one, welcome our new robot overlord. |
 R9K has human slaves to do his dirty work. |
 The 9K and 9K1 Gets. |
 Original content, in my /r9k/? |
 Rule 34 on R9K |
 R9K before he was put on Prozac. |
 100,000 GET |
 I KNOW MY BOYFRIEND GOT THAT GET |
 r9k lays out an unwarranted mute |
 ALWAYS CHECK FOR QUOTES~!! |
|
 Robot 9000 is ultrapopular with ladies |
 Is originality really something to strive for? |
 The top hat and monocle distinguish not only /r9k/ users, but also their patron deities, from those of other boards. |
 Demotivator of a thread from early /r9k/ |
 Serious discussions. |
 R9K is THE BEST. |
[edit] External Links
[edit] See Also
